Everything Else

This is the last chance, barring a very unlikely playoff meeting, we’ll get this year to once again rail against the “reputation” of Brian Burke. We don’t know if Burke has a lot of pull in the Flames organization anymore, or if he’s just there to make the press feel special and manly or whatever the fuck he claims to do.

Whatever it is, he got there on a wave of bullshit.

Burke’s rep is basically built on being bellicose all the time, and making old, stuffy hockey writers achieve half-tumescence for the first time in years because he talks about things like grit and fight and heart and everything that makes the same noise you do after a bathtub of chili. Burke threatens to fight other GMs of course and always talks a tough game, which leads you to believe if he was ever actually confronted he’d empty his bladder into his shorts.

Burke’s acumen is wildly overstated. While he drafted the Sedins and Ryan Kesler and traded for Roberto Luongo, the Canucks never made a conference final while he was steering that ship. And he traded for Todd Bertuzzi, which tells you just about everything you need to know.

His Cup win in Anaheim is bullshit, too. That team was already constructed when he got there, and all he had to do was take someone else’s assets and get a want-away Chris Pronger out of Edmonton. Real hard job, there. Remember, the Ducks had been in the Final just three seasons before.

And of course, he did exactly nothing with Toronto who didn’t get good until they turfed him but good. The only Burke picks that matter on the Leafs right now are Nazem Kadri and Morgan Rielly.

And let’s not even get to all the ways Burke has fist-fucked over Team USA in Russia and in the World Cup, making his 2010 squad clearly a goof when he was too drunk to pick his normal team.

All Burke basically is Bob Pulford with an ability to string more than four words together. And dumber hair. The Flames would be better off with him locked in the same room that the Hawks deposited Pully that he can’t escape.

 

Game #53 Preview

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Everything Else

If you’ve followed this site and/or read the program we used to do back when I wasn’t completely dead inside, you know exactly how I feel about the Anaheim Ducks. While the conjecture of recent years has been to move/fold the Coyotes or Panthers or Hurricanes, I would offer up Anaheim as simply the worst hockey market imaginable and not only would I fold the Ducks but I would then implode the Honda Center, then light the remains on fire, then light the ashes on fire, and then essentially neuralize every hockey fan everywhere so we could forget they ever existed. This is one of the dumber fanbases in one of the more terrible places in the country, despite the “happiness” contained just down the street from the Ponda Center, and quite frankly their one Stanley Cup should be erased from the record. A Cup that essentially convinced far too many hockey fans, and basically everyone in the O.C., that the Ducks won the Cup because they fought a lot and turned Brian Burke into a goddamn folk hero which we’re still fucking plagued with. Luckily, one result of that was the Leafs spinning their tires for a good few more years when they bought into that bullshit, so silver linings are always there if you look hard enough. Still, really all Burke did for that champion Ducks team was have the ingenious idea of acquiring two of the greatest d-men of all time in Neidermayer and Pronger. How brilliant.

And why yes, I was in the building in 2007 when Teemu Selanne scored a hat trick against the Hawks, which in no way will be the central point of my note when you find me hanging from a ceiling beam down the road sometime. Also, while we’re on the subject, if a player had the same production curve at the same age as Selanne in baseball, wouldn’t we be all chanting, “H-G-H!” at him? Just a question. But I guess when you’re white and good with the media we don’t do that type of thing, huh?

Everything Else

evil empire at The Flame

Game Time: 9:00PM Central
TV/Radio:  WGN, Sportsnet, WGN-AM 720
Learn How To Wear A Tie, You Fat Sloppy Irishman: Flames Nation, M & G

After four days off for everyone around the organization to prattle on about urgency and jump and turning on the switch and whatever other nonsense they can spew, the Hawks now take to the road in the northwest not to salt away a division, but to keep themselves out of a wild card position thanks to their own ineptitude.

Everything Else

flames scorch vs oldschool

Game Time: 7:00 PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Burkie’s Fightin’ Barn: Flames Nation

For the first time in like 58 meetings or some unholy number, the Flames actually marched into the United Center last November and emerged with two points thanks to Kris Russel’s seeing-eye overtime point shot that eluded Corey Crawford, one too many points left on the table by last year’s Hawks team. Both teams are in similar positions nearly a year later, with the Hawks maintaining championship aspirations, and the Flames still figuring out how to be competitive in the post Iginla era.

Everything Else

flames scorch vs oldschool

Game Time: 7:00 PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Burkie’s Fightin’ Barn: Flames Nation

For the first time in like 58 meetings or some unholy number, the Flames actually marched into the United Center last November and emerged with two points thanks to Kris Russel’s seeing-eye overtime point shot that eluded Corey Crawford, one too many points left on the table by last year’s Hawks team. Both teams are in similar positions nearly a year later, with the Hawks maintaining championship aspirations, and the Flames still figuring out how to be competitive in the post Iginla era.

Everything Else

I know what happens when you don’t wait around for actual convictions and the whole “innocent until proven guilty” premise that our country is kind of built on. But last night touched a very raw nerve that I have when it comes to domestic abuse and violence against women perpetrated by athletes. So I’m going to jump all that.

I would love nothing more than Gary Bettman to suspend Semyon Varlamov for 40 games, or 80, or more, and for the players’ union to do absolutely nothing about it.

But of course, we don’t live in that fantasy world where scumbags like Varlamov get what they assuredly deserve.

Everything Else

Tim Jennings’s game yesterday was a perfect microcosm of the Lovie Smith defense; give up a ton of yards and then take the ball away… and now back to your regularly scheduled hockey non-hockey links.

Pigs win: (icehogs)

Myers talked lockout with the usual suspects at the shinny game: (CSNChi)

Grantland helps us figure out what to watch with our lockout free time: (Grantland)

More suggestions that the two sides can ignore: (PD)

Uh-oh JJ I wonder how long the league will let this stay up: (JJ3)

Good idea Burke, I’m sure the pressure of playing in Toronto won’t get to Lu: (PHT)