Everything Else

As everyone else in the world falls all over themselves to tell you how awesome Jaromir “I Wear These Pants To Accentuate My Bulge” Jagr is, or the remnants of the eight-year long Teemu Selanne goodbye party are still to be cleared, ask yourself why people don’t feel the same about Joe Thornton? We mean other than when he’s talking about pulling out his cock and stroking it after scoring four goals in a game.

Thornton is about to have his 16th season of 60+ points in the last 17, and the only reason it isn’t 17 straight is he only played 23 games in ‘03-’04 after busting his shoulder. Even Jagr can’t boast that, though he’s seven years older. He is in the top 30 in all-time scoring, could crack the top 20 or even 15 next year and certainly will if he plays another two or three years. Considering he’s still producing, there’s no reason he shouldn’t.