Football

Week 5 – Bears vs. Raiders Preview: The Reunion Special

By Tony Martin 1295 0

vs.

 

Bears (3-1) vs. Raiders (2-2)

Sunday, October 6th 12:00

TV: Fox

London, England

Fun Fact: Winston Churchill believed non-white people were genetically inferior to white people, while also drinking enough to make Charles Bukowski look like a 14-year -old after three Natty Lites

Top of the morning, Bears fans! As you read this, we are more or less two days away from our boys taking on the Oakland Raiders, who are technically the home team at the fabled Northumberland Development Project, which I swear is the actual name of the stadium they’ll be playing in on Sunday and not something that I made up.

Let’s lead with the obvious story: Khalil Mack is returning to destroy the hopes and dreams of the team that traded him to Chicago for a handful of magic beans and a collection of Walgreens coupons. Sure, two first round picks is a high price to pay, but Mack is worth it beyond any shadow of a doubt and we know how bad Ryan Pace has been drafting in the first round. This one is going to be personal, and I am so excited to watch him get held on every single play on Sunday. It probably won’t matter how many midfielders or whatever the Raiders send to chip him, expect Mack to rule the pitch and bend rookie lineman Kolton Miller like Beckham would (I know nothing about soccer, I apologize). Khalil Mack is going to do to the Raiders what the British East India Company did to most of the world in the era of imperialism. Expect it to be NSFW.

This game feels like classic Chicago Bears football: the defense dominates and the offense, knowing how much more exciting it is to watch them play, does their best job to keep it interesting by going out three-and-out every time they’re on the field. Outside of an impressive drive to start the game and one more drive before the half, this offense didn’t inspire much last week in the absence of Mitch Trubisky, who I am also sure will be genetically modified when he comes back from injury and throw for 500 yards a game.

These games are maddening because if the Bears had a three touchdown lead for once it would be nice to see the defense get to pin their ears back and do the things that make them so fun to watch: take chances for the big play. Eddie Jackson is an All-Pro safety, and imagining him in a game situation where he’s feeling more comfortable to jump a route or two could lead to a few more team celebration photos in the opposing end zone.

Can Chase Daniel keep this offense running as smoothly as my first car, a 95 Ford Escort with one functioning door? That might be all it takes to win with the way this defense is playing. A beat-up defense ethered Minnesota’s offense so badly last week that it literally caused team dysfunction. They’re wrecking homes at an Ashley Madison rate, and you can’t compete with that kind of efficiency. Chase will be asked to manage the game, and while that’s a major regression from what we all expected going into 2019, if it means a Bears W, I’ll take it. I’m expecting Javon Wims to catch a touchdown in this one, and if I’m wrong I’ll buy everyone reading this an order of fish and chips*.

*Not an actual guarantee, but hey I did learn that the British call french fries “chips” because it’s short for “chipped potatoes.”

Honestly, I just want to see notable Red-Assed goober Jon Gruden have a shitty day. He’s a total heel, but not in the fun heel way a la Dusty Rhodes. Gruden has X-Pac Heat (for those unfamiliar, X-Pac Heat is when wrestling fans hate a wrestler not because of effective heel work, but because they are unlikable as a human being/suck at wrestling). If I can’t get WALTER to come out and hit Chucky with a lariat, I’d hope the Bears could make him regret pretty much everything he’s done since taking over creative control of the Raiders and doing exactly two things:

1. Cutting or trading everyone that made this team interesting or fun
2. Ruining how cool it is that I got a dope throwback Raiders Starter jacket three years ago

Derek Carr is overrated, and is at best a middling QB who wants to be Tony Romo for a new generation. Josh Jacobs has potential, but isn’t there yet. Jacobs, Darren Waller, and Tyrell Williams are the best things going for this Oakland offense. This is a team that was in need of a Dolphins-esque rebuild, and they entrusted it to a fucking clown and I feel bad for the 10-15 good to great players on the roster.

This game could go a number of different ways. I can see it being anything from a 24-3 laugher in favor of the Bears, or the Raiders could shock us all and pull out a close one. When in London, nothing is guaranteed, except for Allen Robinson‘s dominance (16 catches, 213 yards, 2 touchdowns in 3 career games in London), because he’s the best Zed receiver taking the pitch on Sunday.

Prediction: Bears 27, Raiders 10

Football

Week 1 – Packers 10, Bears 3: Don’t Believe The Hype?

By Brian Schmitz 947 0

If Super Bowl rings were given out for pre-game hoopla, over the top predictions, and general meatheadedness, the Bears wouldn’t have needed to play another game this year – “Crown they ass” tonight and have the parade tomorrow. But always remember, the hype is just that, hype. Once the game was finally kicked off, none of the peripherals mattered anymore, and this was truly unfortunate for the Bears.

In what was a harbinger of things to come, the Bears, a 3 ½ point home favorite, limped out of the gate offensively; Managing only 98 yards in the first half and looking like a unit that hadn’t had any preseason game action to get ready for actual, live, as real as it gets, fucking games. Somehow despite their impotent offense, the Bears were able to garner a 1st quarter lead with a Field Goal. Who would have believed that a 1st quarter, 38-yard Field Goal from Eddie Pineiro would be the beginning and the end of the Bears scoring output for the night?

After the Pineiro 3-pointer, the next promising Bears drive stalled out at midfield after Matt Nagy wanted to show everyone how creative he was and ran wide receiver Cordarrelle Patterson up the center’s ass on 3rd & short for a loss. If we are going to sit around and talk about how creative Nagy is and how much fun it must be to play in his system, then we must recognize when he gets too cute for his own good. This was certainly one of those instances.

A great Pat O’Donnell punt was downed inside the 10, and the defense was back on the field, which at this point in the game, was the Bears best offense. Overall, the Bears were “who we thought they were,” which is damn dominant. The Packers offense managed only 213 yards, of which 47 yards came via the run. Even future Hall of Famer Aaron Rodgers was limited to 166 yards on 18-30 passing while being sacked 5 times. This is the beautiful thing about this Bears team; the defense can keep them in every game, even as the offense is still a work in progress.

Thankfully for my eyes, a very boring and borderline unwatchable first half ended on a stalled Bears drive and a failed Packer Hail Mary. At this point, the game almost had a pre-season feel to it; penalties and mistakes everywhere, missed assignments, and general fuckery overall.

The 2nd half started with more of the same from Trubisky and the offense; another 3 & Out. At this point, the game felt like Trubisky wasn’t exactly struggling, there was just has not any room for him or the running game to operate. The general lack of offensive success that we saw throughout this game was more a byproduct of a much-improved Packers defense than it was of poor execution on the offensive side of the ball.

But then suddenly, and finally, things changed. With about 4 minutes left in the 3rd quarter, something clicked in the passing game and the offense was able to establish some momentum. Trubisky hit on a few medium/deep balls (which he has struggled with his entire career) and even though the next two drives stalled out due to penalties, some continuity was finally taking place on the offensive side of the ball. Another reason to be positive at this point was that, despite being 1-11 on 3rd down, the Bears were only down by 4 points with 9:00 remaining in the 4th quarter.

A short Mason Crosby Field Goal extended Green Bay’s lead to 7 with 5:00 remaining, and soon thereafter, we reached the seasons first tipping point: facing a 3rd & 10, Trubisky found Allen Robinson for a first down inside the Packers 30-yard line. As this impressive 13 play drive continued, was it improbable to think that, even though the Bears have scored 3 points in 55 minutes, they would tie this thing up? Hopes were quickly dashed and we got our answer immediately thereafter as Mitch Trubisky hung up a corner route and was picked off by former Bear Adrian Amos to essentially end the game.

The electricity of one of the most anticipated season openers in team history had now become a deafening silence. This wasn’t just another regular season opener, it felt different, it seemed to mean more.

In the end, the Bears lost.

To the Packers.

At Soldier Field.

On their 100th anniversary.

This one stings.

It’s extremely hard to come up with any concrete takeaways after the first game of the season, however, there are a few things to question and/or consider:
• It’s fair to blame the offensive struggles on simply being out of sync, but at what point in the game or the season can we stop making excuses for a Bears offense that was average (at best) last year and flat out mediocre tonight?

• All I heard all week is how old Jimmy Graham is and how he’s a shell of his former self. Well, I’d take this dude over any Tight End on the Bears roster. Not only was he a great red zone target tonight, he was arguably the only Packers receiver who had the ability to stretch the field.

• The number of flags and stoppages kept this game from having any flow to it whatsoever. Add this to what was a very inefficient offensive performance by both teams, and it was a shitshow from a viewing perspective.

• Allen Robinson sneaky had a 100-yard receiving game; none more important than that drive saving catch on 3rd & 10 late in the game. His 13 targets were a game high.

• Anthony Miller did not produce a single catch while only being targeted 1 time. If the Bears want to be successful this year, this has got to change.

• Tarik Cohen and I had the same amount of rushing attempts and rushing yards tonight. When you talk so much about making it a priority to get this guy the ball, why is it that he so often disappears?

Football

Bears 2019 Fantasy Outlook: How Homer Are You?

By Tony Martin 1097 0

Fantasy season is almost upon us for 2019, and if you’re like me you are spending as much time as humanly possible reading up on as much as you can before all your targets inevitably get injured before opening day. I’ve always tried shying away from using Bears players in fantasy, since I’ve been conditioned to eternally expect the offense to always put up mediocre numbers, but also because the big money league I play in is made up of Bears fans. Someone will inevitably draft Anthony Miller in the 4th round and I’ll quietly roll my eyes and shrug it off until he goes off for 20 points when I go against him. Such is life.

That said, 2019 is probably the first year I can remember where Bears offensive players will come at a premium in fantasy football, but it’s important to have realistic expectations to make sure you aren’t reaching for guys when there’s much better options available. So, with that said, let’s take a look at where you should be willing to slot Bears players on your fantasy squad this year.

Mitch Trubisky: Consensus among the experts I’ve read is that our beloved signal-caller is a #2 QB at best, but if you look at the Bears subreddit you’d think Mitch is about to have a Jared Goff-esque breakout season. As much as I hate going with the dorks on the various fantasy sites I peruse, I gotta agree. I am not comfortable drafting Mitch to be my starting QB. He could be a premium backup or match-up play, especially if you stack him in a DFS lineup with Miller or Robinson, or even Taylor Gabriel in some sort of best-ball scoring setup, but in season-long leagues I am drafting him as the QB 14-18 and hoping I’m totally wrong.

What the hell do I do with the Bears backfield? That’s a good question. Is Tarik Cohen going to finish in the top-15 again at the RB position? I’m fearful of his durability going into this season for no real reason in particular, and the uncertainty regarding who will take a majority of carries in this offense makes the outlook super unclear. I wouldn’t be surprised to still have that uncertainty on a week-to-week basis when the year is in full swing. As of right now, I’m drafting Cohen as the best RB2 on my board (and a mid-level RB 1 in PPR formats), and David Montgomery as a flex starter, who could optimistically finish as a top-20 RB if everything shakes out. Mike Davis isn’t worth a roster spot.

Avoid Bears tight ends. I’d rather use Bradley Sowell in DFS once as a joke than draft Burton or Shaheen. Tight end is going to be a bloodbath this year, so make sure you’re locking down Kelce, Ertz, or Kittle in your first four rounds if possible. If not, you’re screwed and hoping to get NFL Red Zone highlights of Vance McDonald catching an 8-yard pass.

Okay, deep breath. Let’s try to figure out the Bears WR corps. Allen Robinson can be a top-10 wideout from a fantasy perspective, but will he? I’m not betting on it. His numbers last year are not good, even adjusted for his two games out of the lineup. Is he due back this year? He could be, and I’d be more than willing to buy low if he’s available in the 6th or 7th round. He’s a beast that will demand attention, but once again you gotta wonder if Mitch will throw his way if opposing teams try to take him out of the game (see his two-catch for 37 yards performance against Detroit). I’m taking him as a WR3 or Flex at best, which is actually lower than where I’d put Anthony Miller in PPR. Miller was TD dependent last year, but this year I’m hoping for more of a breakout season statistically. In PPR I’m drafting Miller to be a low end WR2. As mentioned earlier, Taylor Gabriel is someone I’d use in daily fantasy or best ball leagues, and Cordarrelle Patterson will be fun to watch but really only exists to vulture points from all Bears skill position players.

This offense is a mess in the best way. Sure, as a Jordan Howard owner the last two years I’ve had some conflicting emotions watching defensive players score goal-line touchdowns. On one hand its fun and it means the Bears are scoring, but as a season long, dynasty, and daily fantasy football player I just shake my head sadly. Part of me wants to not draft any Bears players with high expectations because I want to just enjoy Matt Nagy’s wild ride, but if Mitch crushes it this year there’s nothing stopping this offense from looking like those classic Saints offenses from a few years ago.

Football

Sons Of Wilber Marshall – First Week Of Camp Roundtable

By Sam Fels 1474 0

We’ve gathered the kids again to discuss the first full week of Bears training camp. Sadly, adult life called Brian Schmitz away this time, but Wes French (@WFrenchman) and Tony Martin (@MrMartinBruh were happy to pick up the slack. 

After the first full week of camp, is there anything coming out of there that has you excited or worried? Or is it the usual training camp argle bargle?

Wes: My feelings from earlier in the week haven’t really changed – it’s been sort of boring so far, but that’s okay. The injuries to Ha Ha and Shaheen proved to be short lived as both are back as of Thursday morning. Mack and Eddie Jackson look like monsters, tossing around the poor random conditioning coaches that have to hold foam pads in front of them. It’s been fine.

I’m interested to start seeing some position battles emerge, especially in the backfield on the offensive side. Every position returns the starter, while that includes Cohen here, but there are more quality options around him and no one is sure how they all fit. David Montgomery has garnered high praise since his selection, but as a rookie with plenty of veteran competition I’d guess the usage will start low and slowly build. Mike Davis was Pace/Nagy’s pick among a pretty strong secondary Running Back market in free agency, so there is clearly a plan for him. Early reports I’ve seen have him as highly rated in the passing game, especially as a blocker. Struggling on passing downs is what got Jordan Howard shipped out of town, so this isn’t really news but it’ll be interesting to see if certain guys are in to run routes, certain guys to block, or if they get to a level where everyone is trusted to do it all.  And I’m still anxious to see what the hell they have planned for Cordarrelle Patterson.
Tony: The local beat reporters are killing me with the kicker talk still, to be honest. I get the pressure element of it, but there are almost a hundred other players that can get the team in positions where they don’t need field goals to win. I’m not dismissing the importance of the position, but if the Bears break camp with a league average kicker, I’ll still sleep soundly at night if the other 52 are crushing it. 
Wes: The kicking competition is definitely dominating the early camp reports to the detriment of the rest of the team. It’s really early, but we’ve heard hardly anything about the rest of the team. Maybe no news is good news, but it’s a little concerning.

I’ll concede it’s probably too difficult to analyze if Mitch has progressed much from three padded practices, or individual standouts from the small amount of drills they’ve had. I’d still like to hear what looks new/different on a defensive unit with a brand new coordinator and how the group of newly signed/drafted DBs are doing thus far.
I feel like outside of kicking all I’ve heard is Allen Robinson is having a great camp since he’s a year plus removed from the knee surgery. Which is great! But what the hell else is going on?
Tony: You nailed it. This team will live and die with Mitch’s development, but I guess it’s realistic to assume we won’t know exactly how far he’s come until opening night, maybe even later. How will he play when Von Miller, Joey Bosa, or Aaron Donald are lining up to rush the passer? How will he hold up in a shootout? 

I’m no Jon Gruden (mainly because I’d never trade Khalil Mack), so I’m not an expert QB analyst, but what I do know is I’ve watched so many Bears teams that were skilled in all other phases fall short due to incompetent quarterback play. I’m cautiously optimistic, but still guarded.  The one thing I can say for sure, however, is that his weapons are unlike anything I can ever remember a Bears QB having. 
Wes: The world doesn’t need any more Jon Grudens. We don’t even need the one we have. He just said he likes what he’s seen of Nathan Peterman….

You bring up a good point that this has to be about as loaded a Bears team as I can ever remember in my lifetime, both sides of the ball. Kahlil Mack, Eddie Jackson and Akiem Hicks are arguably the best current players at their positions in the league. The offense boasts above average or better players across the entire line and wide receiver positions, they have a good mix of options in the back field and a very progressive offensive mind running everything.
This is the NFL and wild, random things happen all the time, but the feeling is this team has the juice to be a serious contender, but they can’t really be mentioned in that top tier of teams to dethrone the Patriots without improved accuracy and post-snap reads from Trubisky.
Everything Else

Friday Foofaraw: Our Definitely World Famous Chicago Bears Roundtable

By Sam Fels 1705 0

Unlike Hess, Rankin, and Pullega, the “core four” still live in this wonderful city and call it home. We have not abandoned it for some horseshit covered outpost or soulless suburb. Which means, we still bleed blue and orange. We know the Bears are the soul of this city, for better or for worse (so much worse). And like everyone else, we’re pumped about Sunday and the season ahead. So in a tradition unlike any other, we share our football thoughts, carrying on the tradition of “The Committed Idonije.”

We barely saw Mitch Betta’ Have My Money in the preseason. We really don’t know what’s in store for this season. Do you think the limited preseason action will matter and what are you expecting from our boobies-loving QB?
McClure:  First of all, it’s “tittiess”, and the Mack acquisition is such a trajectory-changer that it alters the prism through how we the giardiniera soaked masses view Mitch Please. IN THEORY, Mack takes a significant amount of pressure off of Mitch and will give him shorter fields to work with and hopefully leads to protect. Not that a QB drafted at #2 overall needs to project as a dreaded Game Manager (not Laramie), but Mitch’s margins just got a lot wider, and any rust that could be in place by Nagy giving the finger to the tradition of the dress rehearsal pre-season game should be knocked off by the end of the first half on Sunday. So, cliff notes answer- no probably not.
Feather: Like our new overlord Matt Nagy said, if Mitch falters early, it won’t be because he didn’t take 20 snaps in the preseason. 

I’m very interested to see what this offense (and Mitch) will look like when the bell goes off on Sunday. Clearly, the Bears were making a concerted effort to avoid putting anything on film. And they were obviously doing something worth watching in the Denver scrimmages to have the ever-weird John Elway paying complements to Mitch. So I’m not too worried about the lack of preseason reps. 

Realistically, I just want to see A) Mitch stay healthy the whole season and B) new wrinkles continually added to Nagy’s offense as the year progresses. I don’t ask for much. Just make my Sunday’s interesting again. Please.
Slak: I don’t worry about the preseason because I’m not a loser like Hub Arkush. That said, I think they’ve kept a ton of stuff re: the playbook from the public and it should be interesting to see if it plays out in our favor. Mike McCarthy’s comments seem oblivious as he is wont to sound, but then again he’s not gonna come out and say “here’s what we’re going to do to stop the Bears.” There’s an element of surprise and I am excited because Mitch does have one thing in his favor and it’s his unpredictability and athleticism. The big question is can he throw? 
Fels: I’m a touch worried about accuracy. The athleticism is there, the offense is going to be a learning curve for everyone so I’ll take those mistakes, but the one thing I noticed last year is Mitch sometimes struggles to find a tight window (don’t we all?) Especially on a deep ball, because Fox never let him throw one last year. If he can’t hit some 40-, 50-, 60-yard bombs occasionally, then everything is going to get scrunched. If he can, sky’s the goddamn limit. MITCH BETTA’ HAVE MY MONEY.
How good is this defense gonna be?
McClure: There is no limit to how good this defense can be. Everyone and their obese uncle on twitter has posted positional parallels for Vic Fangio’s fearsome defense in San Francisco to the personnel that slots in here, and things certainly look favorable. If nothing else, this defense will look more aggressive than Lovie’s bend-but-don’t-break and takeaway the ball system, and could very well be better if everyone stays healthy.
Feather: This defense SHOULD be as much fun as the first three years of the Lovie Staff and his Smith era when Tommie Harris still had two attached hamstrings. 

As McClure said, the Mack acquisition completely changes the prism by which this unit should be viewed. Of course, Roquan Smith missing the preseason (and to a lesser extent Mack) probably means this defense won’t come out of the gates breathing fire. More likely, it’ll take a couple weeks of the Bears getting slightly torched; people losing their minds and then getting on a roll after everyone gets a good feel for each other.
Vic Faaaaaaangio. Just wanted to get that one in. 
Slak: Injuries, as always, will dictate that. Trader Vic is no slouch though and I think he’ll get as much as one can from this group and goddamn is it talented. I am really excited to see them get back to being the terrifying takeaway machine we remember from the mid 2000s. 
Fels: I don’t even want to compare it to Lovie’s, as fun as they were at full-strength. This defense has the potential to be our mid-80’s group because unlike Lovie’s, this one’s gonna come and get ya. There will be angles and blitzes and ferocity and outright terror and I am here for it. There will also be swagger, and that’s when things are going to get really fun.
Khalil’s gonna kill you…Khalil’s gonna kill you…Khalil’s gonna kill you…
 
Is Allen Robinson going to be a weapon? Does he even have to be with Taylor Gabriel, Anthony Miller, and Slak’s boy Javon Wims?
McClure:  If nothing else, Robinson has to be respected if not double covered, and with the plethora of on-paper skill position weapons this offense should have. Robinson doesn’t seem to have an excessive amount of WR Diva in him so playing decoy for a while for the betterment of the team should be alright, but eventually he’s going to need his touches to keep DB’s honest, and it will be on he and Mitch to make the most of those targets.
Feather: You also forget to mention Slak’s other boy Kevin White. I’m probably drunk on Bears Kool-aid but this really could be an embarrassment of riches if all things come together. Hell, even if Anthony Miller is the only one of the young guys mentioned who pans out that will still be a success…by Bears standards. 

The key to it all taking off, though, is Robinson. If he starts strong and draws the attention of the opposition, it’ll open single coverage on guys like Miller, Burton, Wims, etc. 
He’s such a huge target. So long as his ACLs don’t shatter on impact, I cant think of a good reason why he wouldn’t be considered a major weapon. 
Slak:  I think he will be if Mitch can find him. I love Wims because I watched a lot of Georgia football last year and I think Anthony Miller can be a super dependable guy for us. Jury’s out on Gabriel but the guy you didn’t mention is Trey Burton. I think he’s gonna be really good. 
Fels: The amount of weapons the Bears could have is kind of astonishing. And that leaves out what could be a really decent running game and a coaching staff that can maximize the fun of Tarik Cohen. They’re going to get goofy and I can’t wait. Really, All Robinson has to be is a cog.
How many things in your house did you punch in joy when you found out about Khalil Mack?
McClure: Well, not nearly as many as Slak, who sent us all a 7:30AM “WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKERS THEY DID IT” text last week.
Feather: One, myself in the face. 
Slak: I think I texted you clowns immediately. I felt higher than giraffe balls. 
Fels: This is probably too much info, but I got Slak’s text on the toilet, Now that’s an experience.
Ok, seriously, can the Bears actually be like, good this year?

McClure: Short answer “Yes” with a “Maybe”, long answer “No” with a “But”.

Feather: I feel like my answer to this is the same every year – yes. Not to be a St Louis Blues fan “this time will be different” but this season has a different feel than any in the past decade or so. There are so many things to like about this roster and there’s still that new car smell of the coaching staff that there doesn’t seem to be much wishcasting when you start trying to imagine a 9 to 10 win team.  So what we have is 100% pure, unfiltered optimism. God help us all.

Slak: t’s a really tough division – the hardest question is who finishes *last* in the NFC North? It’s loaded. Based on that, it’s going to be a tough year for any of those teams and I welcome relevance. We’re not asking for much – just let us care again. Let us love. 

Fels: I’m all fucking in. I think 10 wins is right there. Everyone barks about the schedule but you honestly have no idea what the schedule will look like come Halloween. Yeah, the division is tough, but it’s not like Green Bay or Detroit are fucking juggernauts. And you can Kirk Cousins this, beeyotch. There are three pretty winnable AFC games there, The Bucs and Giants blow. Win your division games at home and those five and there’s eight wins already. Then it’s just about picking off one or two others. It can be done. It will be done.

FOOTBALL’S COMING HOME.