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Game #51 – Hawks vs. Canucks Douchebag Du Jour: Michael Del Zotto Has Made $20 Million, You Will Not

We don’t usually complain about what any athlete makes. The job pays what it pays. No one forces teams to hand out these contracts, and either way thousands of people show up to watch said person work.

But then there’s guys like Del Zotto. Because we don’t know what it is he does (don’t worry, your Lisa Ann jokes are coming. PHRASING!) Del Zotto has been a puck-moving defenseman who can’t move the puck or play defense.

In one of his ten seasons he has had a possession rate above the team he has played for. If you’ve watched him at all, you see him constantly get horsed in his own corner, when he can even be bothered to get over there. And yet teams keep acquiring him for millions. We don’t get it.

Oh, and he asked a porn star to find women for him. You make millions, dude. You don’t have to work that hard to find gorgeous women who want to be around you. Pornstars have better things to do than be your personal pimp. So not only is this dude not good at hockey, he’s not good at being rich.

And yet here we all are on the couch. Life can beat you down sometimes.


Game #51 Preview




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