Everything Else

Game #43 – Wild vs. Hawks: Douchebag Du Jour – That F***ing Horn

Yeah, we know. It’s a hockey blog. But with the Minnesota Vikings about to embark on their journey that is most likely to end in a Super Bowl trip in their history, we’re going to take a departure. The only thing that Bears and Packers fans have in common, other than stains on their suits, is a deep hatred of that fucking horn. You know it. You’ve heard it for years. Be it the Metrodome, or that brief sojourn to the University of Minnesota that still wonderfully has parts of Brett Favre’s brain on it, to the Bird Murder Dome they play in now, that horn has soundtracked a few of your Sundays every year of  your life.

It greets every first down, every big play, every touchdown the Purple have managed to put up. Even when you don’t think you’re hearing it, you’re hearing it.


And then you see the overfed, norse-wannabees in the stands who’d rather be watching the Gophers play hockey anyway but will pretend for the moment. And they’ll tell you what a hardy people they are while their football team plays indoors and their baseball team plays outdoors in April and May. And they’ll wheel out 209-year-old Bud Grant and he’ll strip down to his fucking golf shirt as if that isn’t a sign of anything other than lunacy. Also Bud Grant never won dick, like pretty much every other Minnesota coach in any sport save Tom Kelly who was able to parlay the Metrodome’s awful setting for baseball into two World Series wins without winning a game on the road.

You hear that horn and it’s Chris Carter running wild in the secondary among confused and helpless Bears’ secondaries. It’s Harbaugh’s interception and Ditka’s tirade. It’s Randy Moss laughing at anyone trying to cover him. It’s Kordell Stewart on 4th down called by John Shoop. It’s whatever collapse they could come up with this time. It’s that terrible turf and the weird lighting and Ragnar (who then had a contract demand which is just hilarious. He also rode a Harley which are made in Milwaukee by Packers fans.

That goddamn horn. At least we have Raymont Harris and Jeff Graham running over them on New Year’s Day in 1995. And that horn will blow when they blow it to the Falcons again in the NFC Championship Game anyway.


Game #43 Preview




Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *