Author: McClure

  • Game #56 – Red Wings vs. Hawks Preview, Cyst Removal – Ordinary Pain

    Game #56 – Red Wings vs. Hawks Preview, Cyst Removal – Ordinary Pain

     vs 

    RECORDS: Detroit 21-27-7   Hawks 22-24-9

    PUCK DROP: 2:00PM CST
    TV/RADIO: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720
    JUGGALO HOMIES: Winging It In Motown

     

    If there has been one schadenfraude-drenched upside to the last two years of the Hawks tripping over their own dicks at every conceivable juncture, it’s that the Red Wings have been equally inept, if not more so. Yes, most of the old wounds have healed, as silver tends to do that, particularly when eliminating them on the way to one, but anyone looking for emotional maturity has clearly been reading the wrong publication for over a decade now.

    Entering today’s matinee, the Wings sit 14 points back of a wild card spot with a month and a half to play, essentially left for dead in the Eastern conference they so desperately wanted to play in. Just yesterday they lost another afternoon tilt in Buffalo, their second straight. One of the lone bright spots for the Wings has been Jimmy Howard, who’s had a bit of a renaissance this season with a .914 overall and an excellent .930 at evens, his best since the aforementioned abbreviated 2013 season, but he went yesterday in Buffalo. That means that Jonathan Bernier is likely to get the start today, and suffice it to say that Bernier is a step down from Howard, boasting an .898 overall and a .900 at evens. Even with goaltending taking a downturn league-wide, that’s still not enough from a backup.

    In front of Bernier is a blue line that is somehow even more barren and desolate a wasteland than the Hawks. With no morning skate today, based on yesterday in Buffalo, the Wings will be trotting out a top pairing of Niklas Kronwall and Mike Green with a straight face in 2019, not 2009. Kronwall was always overrated and dirty, and now he’s lost more than a step and a half at 38 years old. Mike Green could probably still make a decent living as a third pairing bum slayer and power play quarterback, but he’s always been an adventure in his own zone and he can’t outscore those problems anymore. Danny DeKeyser is never going to be anything more than “a guy” no matter what the drunk dick from Perth Amboy at the bar shouts, and Jonathan Ericsson makes Seabrook look downright nimble these days. Unfortunately, Trevor Daley is hurt so he won’t be able to be recognized on the UC jumbotron during the first TV timeout.

    Up front for the Wings, there are some decent pieces, but it’s just simply not enough now, particularly in the wake of Henrik Zetterberg‘s retirement. Dylan Larkin is the de facto #1 center right now, flanked by two of the worst contracts in the game in Justin Abdelkader and Gustav Nyquist. Larkin hasn’t quite grown into a true #1 yet, but he’s producing nearly a point per game (51P in 53 games) and certainly has all the talent to put it together by the time the Wings think they’ll be competitive again, and he’s still not even 23. Frans Nielsen centers the second line which features a somehow still employed Thomas Vanek back for a second tour of duty in Detroit (because the first time went so well) and Anthony Mantha on the other side, appears to basically be a Quebecois Hayes brother, providing 20 useless goals a season from a giant frame that intimidates no one. One of the best nicknames in the league and one of the fastest sets of wheels, Greece Lighning, Andreas Athanasiou continues to languish on the third line with known bums Luke Glendening and Darren “Ambulance 43” Helm. The Red Wings also have a fourth line.

    As for the Men of Four Feathers, Thursday night marked their sixth win in a row, which no one is sure if it means a goddamn thing yet. They did so giving up 40 shots to the equally putrid Canucks and had to get to the bullshit that is 3-on-3 to decide things. But points are points, considering that A) this draft isn’t that deep past Jack Hughes, and B) the league is going to rig that he plays for his home town team anyway, which just happens to be the Hawks’ opponent today. The one thing that continues to hum along for the Hawks is the power play, and fortunately the Wings’ PK is only marginally better than the Hawks’, though Jonathan Bernier has been relatively respectable on the kill with an .883 save percentage.

    Lines from Saturday’s skate appeared the same as the last game, but it was notable that Corey Crawford briefly took the ice and partook in team drills if only for about 20 minutes sharing a net with Collin Delia, which would seem to indicate that Cam Ward would get the start. What a time to be alive.

    The Hawks didn’t get any favors from the Blues on Thursday or the Wild yesterday, but it’s still too goddamn early to be scoreboard watching in that regard. A tank is basically out of the question at this point, and it’s better for the players already on this roster to develop by winning, particularly against eminently beatable teams such as this Scum bunch. Take care of business. Seven is better than six.

    Game #56 Preview Suite

    Preview

    Spotlight

    Q&A

    Douchebag Du Jour

    I Make A Lot Of Graphs

    Lineups & How Teams Were Built

  • Live From The Five Hole – Trapped Under Ice

    Live From The Five Hole – Trapped Under Ice

    So there have only been two games since the last episode, but that won’t stop any of us from having loud and malformed thoughts. In this edition, it’s John Pullega and Rose Rankin joining the numbskullery. As always, no subscription is necessary for the podcast, and we’re literally on every podcatching service you could possibly ask for.

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  • Game #50 – Capitals vs. Hawks Preview, Themed Birthday Party – Do The Standing Still

    Game #50 – Capitals vs. Hawks Preview, Themed Birthday Party – Do The Standing Still

     vs 

    Game Time: 11:30AM CST
    TV/Radio: NBC, WGN-AM 720
    What A Bunch of Clowns: Russian Machine, Japer’s Rink

    Now that the calendar has turned, the usual heavy dose of brunch hockey games on national TV is set to begin, with this installment featuring the defending champs, and at present, the worst team in the NHL. How’s that for star power?

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  • Live From The Five Hole – Can’t Win

    Live From The Five Hole – Can’t Win

    Well this team is very entertaining. It’s a three man weave between Sam, Pullega, and myself for this one, and we’re on Spotify now so you motherfuckers have no excuses anymore. Free as always, comrades.

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  • Live From The Five Hole – Hung Out To Dry

    Live From The Five Hole – Hung Out To Dry

    After the holiday break, we’re back with thoughts about the “resurgent” Blackhawks. As always, the podcast is free after the jump.

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  • Game #39 – Panthers vs. Hawks Preview, Bitching About Last Minute Shopping – The Antibiotics Aren’t Working

    Game #39 – Panthers vs. Hawks Preview, Bitching About Last Minute Shopping – The Antibiotics Aren’t Working

     vs. 
    Game Time: 6:00PM CST
    TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, ESPN+, WGN-AM 720
    Taking Their Talents To South Beach: Litter Box Cats

    It took damn near til Christmas and halfway through the season, but the Hawks are riding their first three game winning streak of the season, and have an legitimate opportunity to extend that to four tonight at home against the equally struggling Florida Panthers.

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  • Live From The Five Hole – Christmas At Ground Zero

    Live From The Five Hole – Christmas At Ground Zero

    ‘Tis the season for extended mailbags, because no one really can stomach talking about the present state of things, and John Pullega and Rose Rankin warm themselves by the yule log. Because it’s the season of giving, no subscription is required for the episode. Sons of bitches, Bumpuses.

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  • Game #35 – Sharks vs. Hawks Preview, Yule Log Lighting – Jagged Thoughts

    Game #35 – Sharks vs. Hawks Preview, Yule Log Lighting – Jagged Thoughts

     vs 

    Game Time: 6:00 CST
    TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, WGN-AM 720
    Housing Crisis: Fear The Fin

    As the Hawks continue on this absolutely brutal stretch of the schedule which as salted the earth on an already napalmed season, tonight they welcome a  presently underachieving Sharks team to West Madison.

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  • Live From The Five Hole – In The Meantime

    Live From The Five Hole – In The Meantime

    The hits just keep on coming, and despite everyone’s better judgement, we convene once again to talk about it, and Adam Hess is here as well to participate in scorching hot Bears thoughts towards the end. As always, get the audio after the jump.

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  • Live From The Five Hole – Trouble Breathing

    Live From The Five Hole – Trouble Breathing

    A week with no wins makes for a very lively podcast with both Johns (Pullega and Fifth Feather) and Rose here to chime in on things. The tenor of the recording is pretty much what is expected. But that’s not going to stop it from being free to non-subscribers after the jump. Don’t forget to let your life rot you inside out.

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