Three games into a new era to discuss in the three-man-weave Slak-less formation. As always the download is free after the jump.
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Game Time: 12:00PM CST
TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, NHL Network, WGN-AM 720
The Gang Welshes On A Bet: Broad St. Hockey
With the first game of the Jeremy Colliton Era under the Hawks’ belt in less than thilling fashion, the team leaves for the East Coast for a two-game Metro Division swing. The Hawks find a team in the Flyers who could probably use the recently departed Joel Quenneville’s services.
Before diving into this needlessly vitriolic piece, a few baseline things need to be established. One – there is nothing empirically wrong with Gritty as a mascot entity. It’s fine, it’s silly, it’s unique, it’s harmless, and it’s ultimately for children. Second, this may come as a shock to some readers, but my political leanings are basically just center of communist. The only thing that could have actually gotten me to the polls earlier in the week would have been if there were guillotine referenda on the ballot. And now with those two facts in place…
Fuck Gritty, and fuck the slack-tivist Left for turning him into some kind of meme-machine cultural icon for the #Resistance and Antifa. Perhaps this is a case of living inside a bubble and how I have curated my own social media experience, but there seems to be an onslaught of promotional material aimed at YOUNG PEOPLE on the left containing fan art of Gritty dedicating himself to the plight of the proletariat and bringing capitalist pigs to justice. It was so prevalent that even a publication with its finger so far up its own ass it can barely find the pulse of anything else, the New Yorker, ran a feature story on the phenomenon. But there it was one tweet in particular that simply made all of this a bridge too far and solidified the internet’s collective ability to beat something to death within mere moments:
The @NHLFlyers just crossed the Ritz-Carlton picket line in Boston.
I am disgusted and feel betrayed. #MarriottStrike #PHIvsBOS pic.twitter.com/s4T2byTKUd
— Brett "Solidarity 2024" Banditelli (@banditelli) October 25, 2018
It’s extremely difficult to tell whether this post is ironic in tone or not, but either way there is a tremendous disconnect here between those with internet brain worms and what the reality of the situation actually is. First of all, the thought that a fucking mascot has anything to do with the logistical operations of a professional SPORTSBALL team is laughable. Not to mention the fact that the chances of an NHLer going rogue for the cause of something he’d seen and been made aware of on Leftist Twitter is so far fetched it’s insane. Nearly 99% of NHL players are in all likelihood MAGA chuds because a) they stop attending school in 8th grade b) they come from rural areas which bend heavily conservative, and c) they’re basically all rich which makes one pathologically averse to wealth redistribution or even taxation of any kind.
And even if all of this weren’t true, it makes zero sense to attribute any of these tenets to a logo owned by a team in a sport which is arguably the most racially and economically exclusive of any of the “major” North American team sports, which in and of themselves are a cesspool of rape and entitlement culture. Not to mention that the Flyers specifically, are a subsidiary of Comcast, a borderline monopoly that cannot wait for net neutrality laws to be fully repealed so that they can price gouge even further and reap even bigger profits despite the fact that internet access has reached the point of being a utility out of its necessity to modern life. What’s more, Ed Snider, the Flyers’ former chairman who sold a healthy stake in the team to Comcast (and is dead and assuredly burning in hell for all of eternity) personally donated huge portions of his substantial wealth to virulent right wing think tanks like the Ayn Rand Foundation and The Atlas Society, and tried to destroy every labor union he ever came across, including the NHL players association. And for fuck’s sake, because this is Philadelphia being discussed after all, it’s a solid bet that the guy that’s actually in the goddamn costume itself has got a Facebook page filled with Blue Lives Matter memes and routinely throws around homophobic slurs when hanging out on South Street.
The counter-argument to all of this would be that using Gritty is re-appropriating a corporate logo for a nobler purpose and that anyone who indirectly gets involved in the community because they initially found the memes with the orange googly-eyed creature amusing is a net benefit. Which, ok, sure, but the energy spent on writing Gritty revolutionary slash-fic with intricate illustrations would be better spent throwing a brick through the window of the Comcast Center.
Game #17 Preview Suite
So, some stuff happened. Listen.
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Game Time: 5:00PM
TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, NHL Network, Sportsnet 1, WGN-AM 720
53rd Parallel: Copper & Blue, Oilers Nation
It’s a slightly earlier start tonight on West Madison to accomodate the western Canadian audiences as the Hawks welcome Connor McDavid and his merry band of pranksters into the UC for their only visit of the year, with both teams capping off a three-in-four weekend stretch yet again, with all of the Oil’s games coming on the road.
Box Score
Event Summary
Natural Stat Trick
Look, at this point it’s a cliche, but it always happens. The Hawks go into West East St. Louis on a Saturday night, that team teetering on quitting on whatever coach they currently have behind the bench and with the florid-faced, meth-addled MAGA chuds in attendance baying for blood from the word “go”. Sometimes the Hawks rope-a-dope and let the Blues skate themselves out of position and eventually turn to retaliatory bullshit, and others, like tonight, the pucks go in (extremely) early and the Blues walk away with two points having left everyone feel dirtier for having watched it.
- Tonight was another study in neo-cubist defensive positioning, and it wasn’t just the utterly atrocious pairing of Brandon Manning and Jan Rutta, though at least Rutta finally got his ass benched and didn’t see a shift in the entire second half of the game. Henri Jokiharju was across the river on the Blues second goal, and he and Duncan Keith had a rough go of things all night long. The forwards didn’t help either, as Dominik Kahun did his best Roger Dorn impersonation on Ryan O’Reilly in the game’s opening seconds.
- This is the most anyone has been forced to watch John Hayden handle the puck likely since he attended hockey camp in junior high (the last time he attended a meaningful class in school, don’t believe that Yale bullshit), and he’s going to give everyone an eye infection if he keeps pulling up just inside the blue line to set up shop and look for a pass.
- The Toews line was basically nowhere to be found tonight, despite a 62% share and Mike Yeo combating Toews with ROR. The line wasn’t nearly dangerous enough, and when only one of the top two lines on this team marks the sheet against even remotely competent teams, the defense is going to have a hard time keeping the hounds at bay.
- Conversely the Saad-Wide Dick-Garbage Dick line were all hovering around 40% and “created” all three goals, as much as anyone creates anything when Jay Gallon is letting in Downey soft bullshit like he was.
- Speaking of which, it could be said that Chad Johnson came in and bailed the Blues out after Allen was rickety even on the shots that hit him right in the solar plexus, but the Hawks didn’t exactly mount a furious rally in the third, when everything was kept to the outside.
- During said “rally” two seperate icings within about 2 minutes of one another were waved off by the linesmen because both Erik Gustafsson and Alexandre Fortin slacked ass on coming back even on a hybrid icing. That’s flat out inexcusable and just as benching-worthy as everything Jan Rutta did (which was plenty).
- Other than the power play goal in garbage time, there really wasn’t a damn thing to be done by Corey Crawford on any of the 5 he allowed. He still looked sharp.
- No time to wallow, as McJesus and his dipshit apostles arrive on West Madison tomorrow having just beat the Preds in Nashville and Cam Ward to shoot at.
This spin around has the usual cast focusing on what in the name of fuck happened in the second period against Tampa, and if there’s anything that can be done about it long term. And because we care so deeply, the audio continues to be free after the jump.
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Game Time: 6:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720
Spanish Moss: Raw Charge
Tonight the Hawks will cap off the traditional 3-in-4 stretch weekend stretch by welcoming the eastern conference powerhouse that all of the galaxy brained hockey minds seemingly always forget about, the Tampa Bay Lightning, who themselves are also bringing a weekend Midwest swing to a close.
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Game Time: 6:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, NHLN US, TVA-S, WGN-AM 720
Street Fight Radio: The Cannon
After basically the entire work week off in an unofficial early season bye, the Hawks venture to Ohio for the second and only road game of another thee-in-four-nights stretch that sees them facing down a Columbus team that still isn’t quite sure what the hell it actually is at this point.
At 4-2-0 to this point in the seaoson, the Jackets are at least making a fist of it while unholy terror Seth Jones remains absent from the blue line. To this point, they’ve beaten Detroit, Florida, Philadelphia, and Colorado, with only the latter of which actually playing well to start the season, as their other three victories have been over teams that are presently total messes. Their losses came to a speedy and spiky Hurricanes team, and the Bolts who dropped an 8-burger on them. So for right now, it’s fair to call them the middling team that they are with Jones out.
That’s not to say they’re bereft of any kind of punch. Erstwhile Style Boy Artemi Panarin has put up 9 points in 6 games so far to pace the Jackets, and is in full on “Fuck you, pay me” mode with his bridge deal coming to a close at the end of this year and lacking the mega-paper he’s seeking, which the Jackets seem slightly hesitant to give him. He flanks former first rounder P-L Dubois with Cam Atkinson on the other side, and this line has shown plenty of speed and creativity in the early going. The Jackets’ middle six has been getting plowed over on the possession ledger however, with the de facto second line of Duclair (remember him?), Wennberg, and SANDPAPER Captain Nick Foligno and the third line of Boone Jenner, Riley “Not A Purported Wiener Tucker” Nash, and Josh Anderson contributing intermittent offense, but certainly not enough to balance out the top line and force opposing coaches to pause when trying to get matchups. The fourth line of Sonny Milano (OHHHH!), Lukas Sedlak, and Dane Oliver Bjorkstrand has at least tilted the ice to spell the other three units.
With Jones out on the blue line, Zach Werenski has been partnered with David Savard, and they’ve been getting their skulls kicked it at a 41% clip, and if Werenski isn’t pushing the play on offense, he’s not a world beater in his own end, particularly when he is basically covering for Quebecois Wisniewski as a partner. Markus Nutivaara, a seventh round pick and a 24 year old and not a Finnish candy bar, however, has been the beneficiary of the top line taking a pounding, and flipped the ice at 60% clip with the will-he-ever-get-his-shit-together Ryan Murray. Adam Clendening (remember him too?) has landed here because he’s a right handed defenseman with the vague threat of offense in his game, and he and Scott Harrington have been turned into paste in the 20 even strength minutes they’ve played together on the third pairing.
Long the strength of this team, two time Vezina winner Sergei Bobrovsky has had a slow start to the season, with only an .888 at evens and an .875 overall. Clearly those are not up to his high standards of play, and if that continues, that type of goaltending will torpedo just about any team, let alone one that’s been as reliant as the Jackets have been on Bob. But for as much as he’s slumped, he’s still fully capable of power-windmill breakdancing in the crease all night long on any opponent, as Bobrovsky remains one of the best combinations of size, athleticism, and positional soundness in the sport.
As for the Men Of Four Feathers, while their first regulation loss was probably overdue, they certainly didn’t play terribly against the Yotes on Thursday, or at least the names that are supposed to matter didn’t. The ones everyone expects to be terrible gift wrapped all three goals for Glendale, and Corey Crawford’s return to the cage didn’t have the storybook finish that was hoped for despite looking as solid as can be asked of a goalie after having not played in over 300 days. He’ll get the nod again tonight with a sterner test, particularly from the top line with Panarin’s ability to pick corners as a “bad shot maker”. In front of Crawford will be the same defensive configuration as the past few games, which means it’s duck and cover time with Manning and Rutta on the ice, particularly unsheltered on the road.
Among the forwards, because the Hawks actually lost, Quenneville predictably used it as an excuse to do what he’s presumably been dying to do since the start of camp, and that’s move Anisimov back to the #2 center slot between Schmaltz and Garbage Dick. Schmaltz has been scuffling a little bit, but having Alexandre “2009 Troy Brouwer Redux” Fortin continually biff chances tilts the scoring sheet a little bit, and Wide Dick Artie isn’t the best answer to sparking Schmaltz long term. Fortin was platooning with Martinsen at last report this morning, which results in the splitting up of the speedy Saad-Kruger-Kampf line that could use some more time in a true shutdown role to see if it really could end up being a thing. Instead, Chris Kunitz will play with Saad and Kampf, and Kruger will get some combination from the Fortin/Hayden/Martinsen turd grab bag.
While John Tortorella is assuredly A Moron, he’s not so entrenched that he doesn’t know that at home he’ll have some advantageous matchups that can be found for his top line. The key will be to minimize that damage and hope that Crawford makes some of the saves that Cam Ward wasn’t or couldn’t make, and that at the other end each save that Bobrovsky makes isn’t the one that snaps him out of the funk he’s in. Let’s go Hawks.
Game #7 Preview Suite
There were only two games to talk about over the past week, and what a two games they were. Even still, the main crew is on hand to discuss all that was, and all that might be coming up with (hopefully) Corey Crawford’s return and Brandon Saad’s seemingly inevitable benching. As always, get the audio sans-subscription after the jump.
