Everything Else

 vs evil empire

Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, NHLN, Various Regional SportsNet Affiliates, WGN-AM 720
Tragic Kingdom: Anaheim Calling

On a certain level it’s probably wrong to point and laugh at the AnaCouver CaDucks’ moribund start considering the relentless amorality of the Hawks from top to bottom. And there’s no way the Ducks are actually as bad as a lot of they have looked and much of their struggles are percentage driven, and calling them out on it will likely result in a STATEMENT GAME where they perform well tonight because jinxes are totally real. On another level, fuck the Anaheim Ducks, because no one in their right mind in this fan base should give even a quarter of a shit about a game in late October.

Everything Else

Box Score

Event Summary

War on Ice

Natural Stat Trick

With the Lightning coming off a hard fought overtime win against Winnipeg the night before, they came into the United Center looking to jump out early and hang on. Corey Crawford stood tall in the early going and it turned out to be all the Hawks really needed from him.

There was a Tyler Johnson post in the third but other than that, there weren’t a whole lot of opportunities to be had.

Meanwhile, the Hawks threw everything at old Kristers and he was more than ready to meet the task. Which shouldn’t be surprising seeing as though he stood toe to toe with a Canadian all star team in Sochi.

Jonathan Toews then decided enough with the silliness and went 1-on-3 to finish it off.

Onwards.

Everything Else

Metallica Ride The Lightning vs. 250px-Ozymandias

PUCK DROP: 7:30pm Central

TV/RADIO: WGN For both, NHLN-US, Sportsnet

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL: Raw Charge

Lightning Stats

Lightning War On Ice

Always ace scheduling from the NHL when they take their Stanley Cup Final rematch and stick it on a Saturday in October. One of the handful of games the casual fan outside the two markets might notice, and it’s on at the worst possible time. The NHL: 99 years with a thumb up their own ass.

Anyway, the Hawks will get a decent look at what they can do against a premier team in the league without their biggest weapon in Duncan Keith. The Panthers have a decent set of speed and skill on all four lines, but they would be the JV to the Lightning’s varsity squad that roll in tonight.

Everything Else

Now that Slak has taken away my angry ranting posts, and rightly so because I’m just not angry of a person despite what my appearance, music tastes, and general demeanor would indicate (“denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, hon). So I guess I’d better slink back into my other corner on this fun little prison riot, and that’s being a nerdy nerdy dweeboid with glasses who’s terrified of girls (the last two are actually probably quite accurate). So let’s do it, shall we?

48.9%

This is Toews’s season Corsi-percentage, and while that might not seem all that low, it’s basically 10% below where he’s been the past four years, which is canyon-esque, and the canyon I’m referring to is the one Affleck, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Peter Stormare jumped over in their lunar cruiser (Jesus Fucking Christ why do I know that?).

Now, there are a couple huge caveats to add here (and you can add you’re own terrible movie metaphor in your own head for that one). One, we’re still talking about seven games, a mere drop in the pond. Second, this is actually trending the right way because the first couple games of the season Toews was around 40%. He certainly kicked around the Panthers last night and was better against the Jackets, though that probably falls into the low-hanging fruit category. While Barkov is going to be a great player one day soon, he’s probably not quite ready to go toe-to-toe with the league greats like Tavares or Couturier were earlier in the season.

Everything Else

Boxscore

Event Summary

War On Ice

Natural Stat Trick

There probably isn’t a more gentle way to start the first stretch without Duncan Keith than playing a young team that puts on a display that looks reminiscent to a group of teenagers having their first weekend with the parents out of town (which most of the Panthers aren’t that far removed from, either the teenagers or the parents depending on the player). They were sloppy and disjointed, and the Hawks stable enough that they could basically step back and let the roof cave in on the Cats just enough to walk away with a 3-2 win. Also helps when you spend nearly half of the last 40 minutes on the power play.

Everything Else

pack up the cats vs evil empire

Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Jimmy Buffett Sucks: Litter Box Cats

In today’s episode of the family favorite series Not Tone Deaf, the following is presented free of comment: