Everything Else

It’s my turn to get in on the fun of discussing anything but hockey. Frequent readers to the blog will be familiar with my…obsession is probably too strong of a word so let’s say, preference for the zombie genre. Nothing gets my juices going quite like being thrust into an apocalyptic world overrun by rotting flesh, no rules, various tribes fighting for survival and creatures looking to munch on your BRAAAAAINS.

Why I don’t I live in St. Louis is perhaps the better question. But that’s not why I called.

Everything Else

Maybe it’s simply because I have access to the opinions of so many more people now through Twitter and Facebook. It’s not just my circle of friends. So maybe it was always this way. That doesn’t mean I understand it any better.

I think the last time I watched the Grammys was when I was 11. That was the year that Nevermind didn’t win. It was also the year that Van Hagar beat out both AIC and Use Your Illusion I. That was all I need to know that this was utter bullshit, and I haven’t watched any of the… well, let’s not give away how old I am but it’s a lot of Grammys that I haven’t paid on iota of attention to.

I know everything in our society has become a sporting event, and people are either winning or losing (and you thought Charlie Sheen was a loon). That you’re on one side or the other. It’s all tribal.

But to me, anything that is decided on the opinions of others is not a sporting event. That includes figure skating and gymnastics. That doesn’t mean those who partake in those aren’t athletes, because they most certainly are. But when we’re deciding winners and losers on opinions, then I don’t really care.

Everything Else

We’ve decided that with the bye week upon us, this would be a perfect time to vomit up whatever has been rolling around in our heads, no matter what the subject matter is. Not like anyone gives a shit about our hockey thoughts anyway. So all week, we’ll be writing about anything under the sun that strikes our fancy. 

By the time “Friends” polluted our TV screens in 1993, I was already heavily addicted to sitcoms and had a general feeling that I wanted to do something around that area when I grew up (if being the drummer for GNR would never present itself). I had watched Cheers, Night Court, The Simpsons, and Seinfeld pretty religiously, especially Cheers and The Simpsons.

Clearly, Seinfeld was the genesis for something like Friends. Four people living in New York, living a something of a life we all knew. Except none of them were especially pretty, and certainly they were all heavily flawed. Seinfeld himself was petty and insecure, George a neurotic loser (which we could all relate too), Elaine falling just short in any category, and the unmitigated weirdo (before we found out he was basically a despicable human being).

And then someone thought, “What if we made Seinfeld, but stripped it of all nuance and uncleanliness and really dumbed it down?” That’s how we ended up with the yuppie trash that was Friends.

Everything Else

  vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 34-17-5    Oilers 29-18-8

PUCK DROP: 9pm Central

TV: WGN Down here, CBC up there

GIZMO WILLIAMS FAN CLUB: Oilers Nation, Copper And Blue

Projected Lineups

ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Hawks – 50.6 (15th)  Oilers 50.8 (13th)

ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Hawks – 48.2 (21st)  Oilers – 48.4 (19th)

The Hawks will be the first team the Oilers see after their bye week. And the Oilers will be the first team the Hawks see after theirs, which starts after this game with the Oilers. SYMMETRY!

Everything Else

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Wow, wins over the Wild and Jets in the span of three days. You’ll tell your children about it someday. If you talk to your children. Which you probably shouldn’t, because really, what do your children have to say? Nothing, that’s what.

The first period was about as well as the Hawks have played all season, and they were completely all over the Jets and easily could have had four or five goals if it wasn’t for Connor Hellebuyck spasming competence for the first time since… well, the last time he played the Hawks. Fucker.

The second was not so good, but at this point I think we’ve all given up the dream of the Hawks putting 60 minutes together. The swarm/mess that the Jets style is lends itself to swing wildly from one pole to the other in terms of possession and dominance, and once they get going they can be hard to turn around.

But the third saw the Hawks shut it down fairly well. They didn’t generate as much as you’d like but Crawford wasn’t required to perform the same miracles as the 2nd, even though the Jets had twice as many shots. She’s a funny old game.

Let’s clean it up.

Everything Else

 at 

Game Time: 7:00PM CST
TV/Radio: CSN, TVA, WGN-AM 720
A New Name For Everything: Arctic Ice Hockey, Illegal Curve, Jets Nation

As the Hawks stay in the snow blasted prairies of the Midwest, they take their road show to the MTS Center in downtown Winnipeg, where they hope to actually win a game against the Jets this season in their last head-to-head meeting of the regular season.

Everything Else

I suppose the only way last night’s offsides debacle really matters is if the Wild win the division by a single point, and that somehow matters in the playoffs whether the Hawks lose in the first round to an opponent whom they wouldn’t have played or if they lose to the Wild in Game 7 in Minnesota (because that’s oh so likely to a Boudreau team). But I’ve hated the challenge system in every sport since they instituted it, and it’s important to see why.

Both MLB and the NHL went to the “challenge” system to essentially mimic the NFL’s system. But that in itself is ridiculous, because the NFL system was basically adopted so the NFL could abdicate responsibility. It was either terrified of slowing down the game or that it couldn’t make the right decisions, or at least to restrict when they would go to video review. Sure, no one wanted a game where there was a delay of 30 seconds while a video review took place.

But that wouldn’t happen. What takes longer? A video review official taking one look at a controversial play and deciding it needs to be reviewed, or a team employee doing it, radioing down to the coach, who throws a flag, who then has to explain to the ref why he’s hurling laundry onto the field (and from now on they should throw a dildo), only for the ref to then go and review the thing with the aforementioned replay official?

Everything Else

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

I guess it depends on what you wanted out of this game to define whether it matters or not. If it was a hope that the Hawks could get back in a race for the division, this probably wasn’t it. Gaining one point, leaving with a five-point gap and the Wild have three games in hand still makes your prospects awfully dark. Maybe if the Hawks take the two remaining games with the Wild in regulation we can talk, but a lot can happen between now and the season series being wrapped up.

If you’re looking for signs of improvement in the Hawks in a game they at least said they were taking more seriously than they normally would in the doldrums of February, well you could find things. Toews’s line looked spritely, Crawford had a performance out of earlier in the season, and the kids looked dangerous at times. So if you just look at that, you can feel pretty good.

And if you’re looking for moral victories because the Hawks won on a power play in gimmick overtime… well then you’re a lost soul who simply hasn’t been paying attention. Because there is no such thing.

Everything Else

 at 

Game Time: 7:00PM CST
TV/Radio: NBCSN, TVA-S, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
Makes No Sense At All: Hockey Wilderness

And so it is now here, the most important regular season game in the history of the sport…at least until the next one. The Wild are still playing .900 hockey and have three games in hand on the Hawks, and a regulation win tonight should effectively salt the division away for them, and there’s nothing more that Bruce Boudreau likes than the taste of salted divisions. And the entire hockey world, such as it is, will be watching, as this is the only game on the docket tonight.

Everything Else

That’s not just a stupid title. During our first year as a blog, intrepid reader Eric Rabbers made us t-shirts of Martin Havlat as Jesus and printed up prayer cards to him, that I believe we read out loud before Game 1 against Vancouver in 2009. That’s how deep the psychosis went.

If you’re a newish fan, and it’s no problem if you are, you might look at Havlat’s three years in Chicago and wonder why older fans like us still go weak in the knees whenever we see his name (or a picture of his face, because… well, I mean, c’mon). It’s hard to explain just how deep the malaise had set in when Marty arrived.