Everything Else

Let’s keep rolling along with our Olympic Preview.

Group B

Austria – You’re gonna have a lot of fun saying, “Unterluggaur” while Thomas Vanek is amazed he can play for a team worse than the Islanders.

Canada – As always with them, they’re absolutely loaded. PK Subban might not even play. That’s how richly talented they are. You can try and poke holes in them, but there really just aren’t any. Patrice Bergeron is a fourth-line wing on this squad, and he’s the best two-way player in the game.

Those hoping for a hilarious crash and burn will look in goal. Roberto Luongo has been pretty good even while the Canucks have completely collapsed around him, and his mental deficiencies we all used to laugh at really haven’t popped up in a while. Because they haven’t had a chance. He was pulled mid-series vs. both the Kings and Sharks the past two springs even though he actually played really well. But we know if Canada loses it’ll be his fault. And really, what do you have to do behind this defense? Even if he slips, Carey Price is hardly a drop off a cliff.

If Canada stumbles, it’ll be because they run up against a galactic goaltending performance, which is what happened in ’98 and ’06. It’ll be Rask or Lundqvist or Miller or maybe even Hiller standing on his dick and conjuring up the dark arts. Other than that, this team should sneeze up four to five goals per game.

Prediction: They’re going to wallop this group, which should see them get an easy quarterfinal draw, and then from there it’s just about not getting Rask-ed. Gold Medal Game I’m thinking.