Everything Else

We’ve decided that with the bye week upon us, this would be a perfect time to vomit up whatever has been rolling around in our heads, no matter what the subject matter is. Not like anyone gives a shit about our hockey thoughts anyway. So all week, we’ll be writing about anything under the sun that strikes our fancy. 

By the time “Friends” polluted our TV screens in 1993, I was already heavily addicted to sitcoms and had a general feeling that I wanted to do something around that area when I grew up (if being the drummer for GNR would never present itself). I had watched Cheers, Night Court, The Simpsons, and Seinfeld pretty religiously, especially Cheers and The Simpsons.

Clearly, Seinfeld was the genesis for something like Friends. Four people living in New York, living a something of a life we all knew. Except none of them were especially pretty, and certainly they were all heavily flawed. Seinfeld himself was petty and insecure, George a neurotic loser (which we could all relate too), Elaine falling just short in any category, and the unmitigated weirdo (before we found out he was basically a despicable human being).

And then someone thought, “What if we made Seinfeld, but stripped it of all nuance and uncleanliness and really dumbed it down?” That’s how we ended up with the yuppie trash that was Friends.

Everything Else

Hank_ScorpioThe Simpsons are absolutely stacked with amazing characters that come in for one quick episode then are never heard from ever again. Frank Grimes, Lyle Lanly, Rex Banner… I could go on. None of them quite compare with the (evil)genius that was Hank Scorpio. And certainly none had such a perfect beer. Perhaps the friendliest of any supervillians, Scorpio is always around for you if you need some sugar (Sorry it’s not in packages), a recommendation on where to buy hammocks and he’ll even stop by and say hello in the middle of his marathon. If you treat him well, he may even buy you the Denver Broncos.

Voiced by Albert Brooks (who does a ton of amazing work on The Simpsons… and just in general). Scorpio used Homer’s team of workers to help take over the east coast. The Hawks could use some of that power tonight as they fly out to Boston to try and get the series lead back.