Everything Else

Sure, at times it can be a little bombastic. The more you see it, the sillier it can seem. Here’s the thing about all the shenanigans and pageantry of the pregame routine at T-Mobile Arena…

…it’s fucking Las Vegas!

The whole town just screams tits and money 24 hours a day. You can get a $2 buffet. They put a roller coaster in the fucking Eiffel Tower. There’s a light you can see from space on top of a goddamn pyramid made of glass. Need we go on? Caesar’s Palace is roughly the size of Utah. The whole thing is bombast.

In a day when every arena looks the same, when every pregame thing is the same montage with different colors–fuck, the UC has been playing Foo Fighters at the beginning of the 2nd period and “Ridin’ The Storm Out” before the 3rd for 10 motherfucking years–we should all rejoice that someone out there is trying to make for a unique experience. Something tailored to the city they play in. Something to make the fans feel there’s something special and different about the place they live and the team they support.

Part of being a hockey fan is hating everything. We know. We hate everything to. But hey, we miss the Hawks skating through a frozen Chicago and fending off ninja hockey players or whatever they were. Not just the same on-ice projection and lasers that everyone else has. Put like a giant Italian beef or an Old Style on there or something! Make the United Center a different experience in some small way than TD BankNorth Garden or BB&T or wherever else.

And stop bitching about Vegas. If you didn’t like ridiculousness, over-the-top theatrics, and sheer lunacy you wouldn’t go there once every couple of years to try and find your youth again. It’s supposed to be stupid. It’s a playground in the middle fo the goddamn desert for Christ’s sake. Or did you forget about the floor show in the middle of the slot machines? Or the dancers among the blackjack tables?

If anything, the T-Mobile pregame brewhaha doesn’t go far enough. Use actual showgirls or flying tigers or giant ships or whatever. We could use more of it.


Game #30 Preview Suite




Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built