Hockey

A Bogosian-Coburn Pairing – We laud the Lightning for their ability to produce players and their forward-thinking ways in how to deploy them, but man do they love a lumbering, dumbass d-man. Especially if they’re old. Why a team this fast up front and with speed in the back as well would want to roadblock themselves by installing a couple of walking potholes on their second pairing is beyond us, and you could see where it might be a major problem against any of Boston, Toronto, Carolina, Washington or Pittsburgh down the road.

Cedric Pacquette – Still snorting the headlines from after Game 3 in 2015 about how he’s the ultimate pest and shutdown guy, even if he spent the next three games getting his ass kicked from pillar to post.

Pat Maroon – This guy very well could end up with two Cups in a row and forever wear a label of THE glue guy, and we’re fairly sure he couldn’t avoid a dying sloth.

Hockey

Pat Maroon – A fine fourth liner, and yet he’ll get to wear the label of “the final ingredient” because he happened to be on the Blues last year and from St. Louis. Oh sure, he scored the goal that beat the Stars, a team that took the Blues to seven games even though they couldn’t actually score. And after their first round debacle, the Lightning felt they were missing something, which actually was a goalie who didn’t spend all four games sneezing bending himself into a pretzel but they thought was some goof on the fourth line. What happens if the Bolts go out early again? Does Maroon lose his magic?

Cedric Paquette – Remember when this dingleberry couldn’t wait to suck up all the press about how he was the ultimate pest in Game 3 of the ’15 Final because he had one good game? Yeah, well, Toews ate his heart the rest of the series and the Lightning scored two more goals. Never heard from him again.

Kirk ShattenKevin – Because the Hawks could have had him for the same song the Bolts got him, and they needed his mobility more than Tampa did. But that would take actual vision, and not clogging up your blue line with multi-year deals for the likes of Olli Maatta.