Everything Else

Cleaning Up The House

By 1461

Not much going on today. Crawford isn’t as sick but won’t play tomorrow against the Penguins. Niklas Hjalmarsson won’t play the rest of the week, and that’s worth keeping an eye on, or at least his return is. A non-healthy Hammer when things start to matter would be worrisome indeed.

Other than that, the Hawks extended Jordin Tootoo and Michal Rozsival for a year, and some of this is for expansion draft purposes. In fact, it’s all about expansion draft purposes. The Hawks didn’t have what was required to expose in the draft in June, or at least not in a way that could prevent them from having to expose both Ryan Hartman and Marcus Kruger.

Everything Else

Doused In Mud, Soaked In Bleach: Blues 2 – Hawks 4

By 1389

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

I know that NBCSN wanted to position this game as some important late-season clash, with a lot on the line. We know there wasn’t. And really, tonight was an excellent example of how the Blues have no idea what it is they want to be, and how they want to go being about whatever it is they think they are. The Hawks simply kicked them to shits in the first period. and if it wasn’t for Jay Gallon and Trevor van Riemsdyk, the Hawks could have been up a touchdown. Like we’ve seen a lot of over the past couple years, they spent the second period playing with their food, and gave up a tying goal. And then when they wanted to be serious again, they smothered the Blues and eventually got their deserved winner. This was as elementary as it gets, and just about a pure demonstration of what the Hawks and Blues “rivalry” has been for nine years now when the Hawks have given even the slightest fuck and had a roster even close to matching.

Everything Else

Beautiful Garbage: Yotes 3 – Hawks 6

By 1417

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Coming into this one, you had a feeling it could get weird in some way. Not unlike heading into Exit on a weekend night. The Hawks had labeled the Yotes once at the UC, and then played out some absurdist shit out in the desert where the Hawks were clearly trying to get out with two points with the minimum amount of effort and let the Yotes back into it constantly. It’s a wonder Crawford doesn’t wield a butterfly knife at his defense on nights like this, because Darling never sees this kind of negligence.

And tonight fit the bill, as the Hawks pretty much scored at will but also couldn’t locate a fuck to give in their own zone if it had blinking lights and an airhorn on it for the first 20 minutes, if not 40. But against what is basically a hybrid NHL-AHL team, you can do that. Especially when Mike Smith is looking for the Phantom Tollbooth.

Let’s clean it up:

Everything Else

Toews The Dead

By 1597

If I were you, every time I saw the word “narrative” in any post about anything, I’d run screaming for the hills. I know I’m sick of seeing them, and sick of writing them. Maybe I just need a better synonym for the word. It’s hard to find one though. Account? Story? Chronicle? We’ll work on it.

Jonathan Toews’s recent scoring binge is just the latest turn in what has become the complete slapstick-gone-wrong way we watch and cover sports these days. We can thank Twitter for basically ruining everything, and this is just another example. Because once again, we mistake those shouting the loudest for being in the majority, when these are usually two very separate things. But say it enough, and it at least feels like reality if not outright becoming so.

There are certain truths to Toews. He is a great player. He is having possibly his worst season in the NHL (and even with this binge is still in a lot of ways, but we’ll get to that). These two things are not mutually exclusive, but they sure get treated like they are.

Everything Else

The Voice Of Many Colors Sings A Song That’s So Bold: Hawks at Wild Preview/Manicure

By 1285

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 36-18-5   Wild 39-13-6

PUCK DROP: 7pm Central

TV: CSN Local, NBCSN to the “others”

IN THE WOODCHIPPER: Cold Omaha

PROJECTED LINEUPS

ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Hawks – 50.9 (12th)  Wild – 49.9 (21st)

ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Hawks – 48.7 (19th)  Wild – 54.2 (2nd)

POWER PLAY %: Hawks – 19.0 (16th)  Wild – 21.9 (4th)

PENALTY KILL %: Hawks – 77.1 (28th)  Wild – 82.9 (10th)

The Hawk and Wild will continue their preamble tonight to their almost assured second round meeting in the playoffs. While the Hawks will make noise about giving the Wild “something to think about,” the gap is almost certainly too much. It’s definitely too much with Doobie Brother playing as well as he is, because there’s just no way the Wild are going to drop enough points to make any Hawks nuclear streak matter. And it’s hard to envision how either of these teams trip up in the first round, whatever Bruce Boudreau’s faults, because the Blues, Preds, and whatever swamp thing emerges as the bottom wild card haven’t shown anything close to being a threat.

Everything Else

Come In From The Cold, We Come Down From The Wire: Oilers at Hawks Preview/Bocce Ball Tournament

By 1256

 vs. 

RECORDS: Oilers 31-18-9   Hawks 37-15-5

PUCK DROP: 6pm Central

TV: WGN in the 606, NHLN below the 49th, Sportsnet above it

YOU WILL KNOW THAT I AM AN OIL MAN: Oilers Nation, Copper And Blue

PROJECTED LINEUPS

TEAM ADJUSTED CORSI %: Oilers – 50.8 (13th)  Hawks – 50.5 (15th)

TEAM ADJUSTED xGF%:  Oilers – 49.8 (17th)  Hawks – 48.1 (20th)

POWER PLAY %: Oilers – 20.4 (11th)  Hawks – 19.6 (16th)

PENALTY KILL %: Oilers – 81.4 (15th)  Hawks – 76.8 (27th)

The somehow-controversial (only the NHL could fuck up the concept of a bye week and have it become A THING like this) bye week comes to an end for the Hawks tonight, and they’ll try and buck the trend of teams with a tan getting tolchocked when they go back to work. But the Hawks have usually avoided such pitfalls under Joel Quenneville.

Everything Else

Eh, No Peg: Hawks 5 – Jets 2

By 1418

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Wow, wins over the Wild and Jets in the span of three days. You’ll tell your children about it someday. If you talk to your children. Which you probably shouldn’t, because really, what do your children have to say? Nothing, that’s what.

The first period was about as well as the Hawks have played all season, and they were completely all over the Jets and easily could have had four or five goals if it wasn’t for Connor Hellebuyck spasming competence for the first time since… well, the last time he played the Hawks. Fucker.

The second was not so good, but at this point I think we’ve all given up the dream of the Hawks putting 60 minutes together. The swarm/mess that the Jets style is lends itself to swing wildly from one pole to the other in terms of possession and dominance, and once they get going they can be hard to turn around.

But the third saw the Hawks shut it down fairly well. They didn’t generate as much as you’d like but Crawford wasn’t required to perform the same miracles as the 2nd, even though the Jets had twice as many shots. She’s a funny old game.

Let’s clean it up.

Everything Else

The Problem With Replay

By 1743

I suppose the only way last night’s offsides debacle really matters is if the Wild win the division by a single point, and that somehow matters in the playoffs whether the Hawks lose in the first round to an opponent whom they wouldn’t have played or if they lose to the Wild in Game 7 in Minnesota (because that’s oh so likely to a Boudreau team). But I’ve hated the challenge system in every sport since they instituted it, and it’s important to see why.

Both MLB and the NHL went to the “challenge” system to essentially mimic the NFL’s system. But that in itself is ridiculous, because the NFL system was basically adopted so the NFL could abdicate responsibility. It was either terrified of slowing down the game or that it couldn’t make the right decisions, or at least to restrict when they would go to video review. Sure, no one wanted a game where there was a delay of 30 seconds while a video review took place.

But that wouldn’t happen. What takes longer? A video review official taking one look at a controversial play and deciding it needs to be reviewed, or a team employee doing it, radioing down to the coach, who throws a flag, who then has to explain to the ref why he’s hurling laundry onto the field (and from now on they should throw a dildo), only for the ref to then go and review the thing with the aforementioned replay official?

Everything Else

What’s This Funk, That You Call Junk?: Hawks 3 – Wild 3 (Hawks win bocce ball)

By 1582

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

I guess it depends on what you wanted out of this game to define whether it matters or not. If it was a hope that the Hawks could get back in a race for the division, this probably wasn’t it. Gaining one point, leaving with a five-point gap and the Wild have three games in hand still makes your prospects awfully dark. Maybe if the Hawks take the two remaining games with the Wild in regulation we can talk, but a lot can happen between now and the season series being wrapped up.

If you’re looking for signs of improvement in the Hawks in a game they at least said they were taking more seriously than they normally would in the doldrums of February, well you could find things. Toews’s line looked spritely, Crawford had a performance out of earlier in the season, and the kids looked dangerous at times. So if you just look at that, you can feel pretty good.

And if you’re looking for moral victories because the Hawks won on a power play in gimmick overtime… well then you’re a lost soul who simply hasn’t been paying attention. Because there is no such thing.