Everything Else

It’s tough to put a lot of stock in preseason games, obviously, because you’re not getting a full squad run from either team, and players are still getting back into the rhythm of playing games and what have you. At this point in the preseason, though, we’re getting more toward real-ish hockey. The Hawks played most of the big names tonight, and the Wings played a number of their top guys as well (not that they have many left at this point, but you get me). Keith played. Seabrook played. Toews played.

What I am getting at here is that even with the context of it being a preseason game on a Tuesday night in gosh darn September, the Blackhawks defensive effort being so damn putrid tonight is pretty troublesome. There were just too many occasions where guys got beat, or turned the puck over badly, or were out of position, or were just plain bad. We already knew at the end of this year we’d look back at the blue line and realize it was more like a BLEW LINE (save that one for later, but make sure you credit me thanks), but for it to look so bad so early is not good.

Moreover, and we all already knew this, Cam Ward sucks major ass. He was scheduled to play the entirety of this game and still managed to get pulled after two periods. That’s how bad he was. Joel Quenneville felt the need to pull him out of a PRESEASON GAME because he was that bad in the PRESEASON GAME. One that he was scheduled to play the entirety of. And he still got pulled.

Folks.

Anyone with a brain has known since the charade the team put on last year that Crawford’s health status for this season was gonna be in question. We knew the backup situation was bad, and Stan might need to upgrade it. Cam Ward is not that. If Crawford doesn’t come back relatively early in the season, the damage done by playing Ward could literally be irreversible.

You might be thinking this has become less recap and more scorched earth takedown of Cam Ward. But really, this becoming a scorched earth takedown of Cam Ward is the ultimate recap of this game, because score the earth and take down Cam Ward is exactly what the Red Wings did tonight. They got him pulled from a preseason game in which he was supposed to play the whole damn thing. LMAO.

Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images, acquired via Second City Hockey

Everything Else

I’ll let you in on a little secret. There was a massive brawl here at the Lab over who got to do the Detroit Red Wings preview. After all the shit we had to eat for a decade or more from this Packers fanbase-gone-wrong, and even with all the depression daily life brings these days, the fact that the Wings have cast themselves into hockey oblivion/purgatory will keep the blood pumping through my veins for much longer than logic would suggest. It’s not just that they’re bad. They can’t even be bad correctly. This is a team that desperately needs to bottom out, after all they don’t even have a doddering old owner to placate anymore, and yet is chasing one of its few promising young players off to Russia. Sometimes I still wake up giggling that all the players that every pundit like Pierre McGuire promised us were the “next generation” simply because they were Wings basically amounted to two shooting-percentage spike seasons from Gustav Nyquist. Now everyone is seeing that Ken Holland might just have gotten lucky with a couple late round picks and a completely open checkbook from Mike Illitch when there was no cap. And people, it’s replacing oxygen as my life force. Let’s do this:

Detroit Red Wings

2016-2017 Record: 33-36-13  70 points  7th in the Flortheast which meant…

THEIR BULLSHIT PLAYOFF STREAK THEY HAD TO FLEE TO THE EAST TO KEEP GOING IS DEAD AND EVERY ANALYST IN THE NHL HAD TO CUT THEMSELVES LIVE ON AIR! JUST HOOK IT TO MY FUCKING VEINS!

Team Stats 5v5: 48.2 CF%  (24th)  48.3 SF% (24th)  48.9 SCF% (20th)  7.8 SH% (12th)  91.7 SV% (24th)  15.0 PP% (27th)  80.8 PK% (16th)

Everything Else

Regular Season Recap: Chicago Tribune

Verdi talked with Joel: Daily Herald

Uno Mas: Cheer The Anthem

The three guys that need to be shut down: Blackhawk Up

Ben Smith is ready: Comcast Chicago

Josh Harding will win (and should) but No Hossa love? Puckdaddy

Well…they still are Kings of the Mountain: TSN

My Sens got shitpumped by The Flightless Birds: Ottawa Citizen

Sheer Turmoil from the top down and I love it: Calgary Herald

Everything Else

Gangsta Raps:(Cheer the Anthem)(The Third Man In)(Second City Hockey)

Beat Raps: (Chicago Tribune)(Daily Herald)(Fox)(Comcast Chicago)(Detroit Free Press)(TSN)

They can still improve :{AUTOPLAY} (Comcast Chicago)

Pure Swagger: (The Score)

Verdi’s take on the Humble Hoss: (Blackhawks.com)

Chris Boden’s take on injury secrecy: (Comcast Chicago)

Columbus still wants their All Star Game: (Columbus Post Dispatch)

Yep and Patrick Kaleta is still an asshat: (PuckDaddy)