Faxes from Uncle Dale

Recent Posts

  • Till The Wheels Fall Off – Hawks at Lightning Preview, Security Camera Installation

     at 

    Game Time:  6:30PM CDT
    TV/Radio: CSN, NBCSN, TVA-S, WGN-AM 720
    Haunting, Haunted, Haunts: Raw Charge

    While the Hawks might be in cruise control with at home ice in the first round only two points away from being clinched and being seven up in the conference for home ice in the West, this week is could certainly make things interesting by playing 5 straight games in the east, with every one of them with at least something on paper to play for. Saturday night already saw the Hawks get bitten in the dick by the Cats, and tonight they stay in Florida to face a Lightning team hanging by a thread.

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  • Get ‘Em, Sheeba: Hawks 0 – Panthers 489

    Let’s not waste any more time on this than need be. Here is tonight’s effort summed up nicely.

    Have a good night, all.

  • No One Can Be Trusted, Everyone Is A Suspect – Hawks at Panthers Preview, All-Inclusive Spring Break Package

     at 

    Game Time: 6:00PM CDT
    TV/Radio: WGN, NHLN (US), WGN-AM 720
    Panther Like A Panther: Litter Box Cats

    With the season coming around the final turn, the Hawks find themselves nearly completely clear of divisional and conference play with 10% of the schedule still remaining. Of the eight games left, only one is against a Central opponent, and since it’s Colorado it doesn’t even really count anyway. And the first five of that stretch are all against eastern conference opponents, beginning with a Florida trip starting tonight in Sunrise before swinging up to Tampa on Monday.

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  • Orgasm Addict: Stars 2 – Hawks 2 (Hawks win Shadowrun)

    Orgasm Addict: Stars 2 – Hawks 2 (Hawks win Shadowrun)

    Box Score

    Natural Stat Trick

    “Well, you tried it just for once found it all right for kicks
    But now you found out that it’s a habit that sticks”

    For the third game in a row the Hawks couldn’t raise their give-a-fuck level much beyond tepid against one of the products of the league’s sludge factory. And once again they came out of it with points, this time maximum. Only a possible goalie-interference denied them six points out of six from three games that they played as a bar bet. It’s a neat trick if you can pull it off. With the win the Hawks move eight points up on the the Zack Wyldes with nine games to play. They’re almost dormie!

    This isn’t one that anybody would use as an example of what the sport can be. The Hawks weren’t bothered, the Stars didn’t seem interested in anything more than getting to the end of the season quicker. It was like an exchange at a 4am bar where the invitation to go home together is out there but the other party realizes they’re too drunk and stupid to do much good if they take it (just me?). The Hawks surrendered 40+ shots again to a team they shouldn’t be doing that against, but we’ll chalk it up to late season, nothing-to-play-for malaise than anything structural or worth worrying about.

    As he’s been most of the season, Crawford was able to bail the Hawks out. Because that’s a thing he does.

    Let’s clean it up:

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  • Yeah, She’s Doing The Lindy Hop: Stars at Hawks Preview/Vinyl Swap

     vs. 

    RECORDS: Stars 29-33-10   Hawks 47-20-6

    PUCK DROP: 7:30pm

    TV: CSN

    YU DARVISH FAN CLUB: Defending Big D

    PROJECTED LINEUPS

    TEAM ADJUSTED CORSI%: Stars – 49.3 (2oth)  Hawks – 50.8 (11th)

    TEAM ADJUSTED xGF%: Stars – 48.3 (20th)  Hawks – 49.2 (18th)

    POWER PLAY: Stars – 18.1 (19th)  Hawks – 19.1 (15th)

    PENALTY KILL: Stars – 74.0 (Dead Ass Last)  Hawks – 77.7 (26th)

    What a strange little stretch for the Hawks. They saw teams at the top of the standings, didn’t play well for the most part, won all of them. They returned home to face two things from the bog in the Avs and Canucks, and had to pull a rabbit out of their hat to get a win and a point against them respectively. So where their attention level is going to be tonight is best estimated by throwing a dart at any wall in your office/apartment (and if you’re wondering if I really mean “coworker” instead of “wall”… I leave that to you). They get another look at sludge tonight in the Dallas Stars.

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  • Stars Spotlight: Do We Miss Stephen Johns?

    Stars Spotlight: Do We Miss Stephen Johns?

    No, you don’t. You haven’t thought about him at all this year, other than to laugh at the Stars’ blue line and goaltending. With the Hawks surging to the top of the league, you haven’t thought about the holes on the blue line because they haven’t quite mattered as much as they did last year. And while he can’t seem to convince his coaches yet, Michal Kempny has at least shown a flash here or there of maybe, possibly filling whatever spot Johns might have. But that might not be the whole picture.

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  • Even A Stopped Clock

    Even A Stopped Clock

    Around these parts, an opportunity to shit all over anything the league, or particularly Gary Bettman, says or does for regarding anything surrounding the overall trajectory or vision of the NHL at a large is rarely missed. And though there was a great deal of public “outrage” over his words when he stated “assume we’re not going” as the NHL’s participation pertains to the 2018 PyeongChang South Korean Winter Olympics, this is ultimately the right decision for the league.

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  • Jackie, Dressed In Cobras – Canucks 5, Hawks 4 (OT)

    Box Score

    Natural Stat Trick

     

    Whenever the Hawks and Canucks get together Canucks fans love to recall when every matchup between these one time rivals meant something. Now it means almost less than nothing, if possible. The Blackhawks are going through the motions at this point, resting whoever they can whenever they can, while somehow inching ever closer to wrapping up the division title as Minnesota farts and burps their way into a first round divisional matchup.

    At one point almost everyone who watched the sport would agree that Chicago vs Vancouver produced some of the most aesthetically pleasing hockey of the era. Two highly skilled, fast teams, loaded with depth who absolutely hated each other. Tonight was mostly the direct and absolute opposite of that. This was unwatchable garbage for the first two periods with Vancouver barely able to get the puck to the Hawk net (and when they did it seemed to have a 50/50 shot at going in).

    And then the usual shenanigans happened. The Blackhawks did exactly what McClure urged them not to do and waited until the last half of the third period to storm back and steal a point, only to eventually lose in OT despite outshooting the Canucks 398-4. Here’s some crap I noticed.

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  • Nights Of Wine And Roses – Canucks vs Hawks Preview, Data Plan Upgrade

     vs 

    Game Time: 7:30PM CDT
    TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
    Chasing The Dragon: Nucks Misconduct, Canucks Army, Hockey Dipshit

    Tonight marks the middle frame of this late March Staycation three-game homestand wherein the tired, poor, huddled masses of the Western Conference visit Club 1901, with tonight’s guests being whatever the hell it is the Vancouver Canucks are these days.

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  • Live From The Five Hole – Cooler Heads

    Live From The Five Hole – Cooler Heads

    On this week’s installment the four of us discuss the aftermath of the eastern Canadian swing and fall down the rabbit hole of the Great Sports Concussion Debate, and then proceed to defend a millionaire athlete whom none of us have ever met nor will ever meet. And more depraved listener questions as usual. Audio after the jump.

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