Faxes from Uncle Dale

Category: Everything Else

  • Hawks at Jets 2nd Period Thread

    Love you for what I am not
    I did not want what I have got
    Blanket acned with cigarette burns
    Speak at once while taking turns

  • Jets at Hawks 1st Period Thread

    Use just once and destroy
    Invasion of our piracy
    Afterbirth of a nation
    Starve without your skeleton key

  • All Lost In The Trade Market

    There’s not much going on today as we roll through into a roadtrip and then the break. So I thought it might be time to delve into a little fantasy. And this year, a trade for the Hawks might be true fantasy. First, they may have already made their “deadline” deal by acquiring Kris Versteeg. That gobbled up a lot of cap space. They still have some, but not a lot. Second, it’s hard to figure out where exactly the Hawks would look to shore up. Certainly not on defense, at least I don’t think so. But what the hell?

    I’m going to assume the Hawks aren’t going to move much of anything off the current roster. You occasionally hear Brent Seabrook’s name get mentioned by some loon, but we know that’s not going to happen. Johnny Oduya’s current bout of what-the-fuck might get his name thrown about, especially as the Hawks are pretty jonesin’ to open up a spot for Stephen Johns. But tossing him into a playoff chase and then playoffs is beyond the realm of possibility. So we’ll work as if that won’t happen.

    According to Cap Geek, the Hawks will have about $1.1 in space at the deadline, meaning they can acquire someone who makes $5 mildo over the entire year. At least I think so. It’s hard to figure with Khabibulin’s LTIR. That doesn’t get banked exactly. So if someone wants to clear this up for me in the comments, please do.

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  • Morning Links 1/24/14

    Morning Links 1/24/14

    I couldn’t resist after I saw the recap title..

    Panic Zone? Chicago Tribune

    Something like that: Cheer The Anthem

    Approach  to Danger: SunTimes

    Parental Discretion Iz Advised:ESPN

    LA is the place: TSN

     

  • Moving Like A Tortoise Full Of Rigor Mortis: Blackhawks 1 – Wild 2

    Box Score
    Event Summary
    Extra Skater

    With only 31.2 seconds left on the clock, Patrick Kane fired a puck over the shoulder of Kuemper. It was the first and only time the Hawks found the back of the net tonight and was also just about the only thing that you can put down as a positive for the night. With Kane’s goal, his first Dec 28th, the Hawks avoided being shut out for the first time since a loss to the Kings on Feb 25th back in 2012.

    Funny that Sam’s opening paragraph of the preview today was filled with such guarded optimisim (“they might not need top gear or anything resembling it to get past a crumbling Minnesota team”) because nothing resembling top gear was even approached until a last minute flurry to save their ass. The Hawks took lazy stupid penalties, couldn’t be bothered to adapt their plan of attack and couldn’t get a second chance to save their lives.

    And in the end, it still has all the stink of a mid-January game that no one will remember in a few weeks after the Olympic hullaballoo dies down. If the Hawks continue to play like this, the rest of the season is going to be a long maddening stretch… but there’s no reason to think it’s anything more than a blip as the Hawks look forward to the ride home for their last game at the UC until March 4th.

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  • Hawks at Wild 3rd Period Thread

    There you are, ha, ha, I told you so
    Says everybody that we know
    But who hid a radio under the stairs and who got caught out on their unawares?

  • Hawks at Wild 2nd Period Thread

    It was still at the stage of clubs and fists
    When that well-known face got beaten to bits
    Your face was blue in the light of the screen as we watched the speech of an animal scream
    The new party army was marching right over our heads

  • Hawks at Wild 1st Period Thread

    When Johnny comes marching home again
    He’s coming by bus or underground
    A woman’s eye will shed a tear to see his face so beaten in fear

  • Forward My Mail To Me In Hell: Hawks at Wild Preview/Pregame Thread/Bonfire Building

    Hawk Wrestler vs Zakk-Wylde-by-Ivan-Chopik

    FACEOFF: 7pm Central

    TV/RADIO: CSN, WGN Radio

    WILDSIDE, WILDSIDE: Hockey Wilderness

    No time to fret or rest, as the Hawks will turn it right around tonight to take on the Minnesota Wild. Whatever complaints there were about yesterday’s effort can be quickly solved, and the Hawks usually do that in both the second of a back-to-back as well as after a rather tame effort. Generally, they haven’t doubled up the half-hearted outings. And even if they do, they might not need top gear or anything resembling it to get past a crumbling Minnesota team.

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  • Morning Links 1/23/14

    Morning Links 1/23/14

    Well that sucks: HockeeNight

    Wings win Beer Pong: Chicago Tribune

    Class: TSN 

    Smashville’s MO doesn’t change: SN Autoplay

    Well parts of this are correct: Yahoo

    So this happened: Toronto Sun