Everything Else

Devils Spotlight: The Fantasies of Sinful Screens Of Taylor Hall

By October 28, 2016 1214

God these are getting way dated, aren’t they. Fuck I’m old. Anyway…

Let’s not bury the lede here. The Oilers are absolute fucking morons for trading Taylor Hall. Since he came into the league in 2010, here are the left wings that have outscored him: Sedin, Ovechkin (who has played right wing a lot of that time), Zetterberg (who played center for a lot of that time), Benn, Marleau, Vanek, and Sharp (who also played center for part of that period. So that’s four surefire Hall of Famers, Benn who might have a case when all is said and done, the Hall of Very Good for Sharp, and somehow Vanek got in here. These players just don’t grow on fucking trees.

In terms of analytic numbers, Hall has been far above his teammates for the last five seasons, save one. In the lockout shortened year he carried the water over 8% higher than his teammates. He’s been over 3% better than his teammates twice, and was +0.86% last year as the Oilers began to maybe sort of figure things out.

Everything Else

What Am I Doing In New Jersey?: Devils Q&A With John Fischer

By October 27, 2016 1721

As we always do when the Hawks and the Devils meet up, we turn to InLouWeTrust.com maven John Fischer (@JKFischer) to find out what’s going on in the swamp. And yes, we know the Meadowlands was the swamp but we’re guessing Newark isn’t much better. 

So, still laughing about the Taylor Hall trade?

I did exclaim, “I don’t miss you, Adam Larsson” after this goal by Hall.  More seriously, I think it was a fantastic trade.  Larsson has actually turned out to be someone that Edmonton needed and Hall is performing at a level that has been missed at forward for several years in New Jersey.  More germane to your readers for this game, he’s hot right now with five goals out of 19 shots on net in the last four games.  He’s essentially the Devils’ Patrick Kane.  And like Kane, once he has space, he will do amazing things.

Everything Else

C.I. Comics: The New Mantra Of Hawks PK

By October 26, 2016 1272

Everything Else

High On The Hog: Weekend Trifecta

By October 25, 2016 2256

The Rockford IceHogs, AHL affiliate of the Chicago Blackhawks, rebounded from a rough start to the 2016-17 season this past weekend. With three games in three days, the Hogs bested Grand Rapids on the road before opening their home schedule with a pair of wins Saturday and Sunday.

Heading into the weekend, I wondered to myself where the offense was going to come from this season. Rockford’s six-point weekend may have provided an answer or two.

Everything Else

Ides Of October: Flames 2 – Hawks 2 (Flames win Paper Football)

By October 24, 2016 1322

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Hockey Stats

You live by the shootout, you die by it. Or you just take them to mean nothing because they don’t. While some will use this as an excuse to say everything’s fucked, it really isn’t. The Hawks, even as off their game as they were tonight, mauled the Flames at even-strength (which doesn’t say much for Glen Gulutzan Glen Ross). Once again, the penalty kill cost the Hawks a point this time, as it did in Nashville, and in Columbus, and would have against the Leafs if they didn’t get the two minute drill right.

Everything Else

This Isn’t My Beautiful House: Flames at Hawks Preview/TSA Training

By October 24, 2016 1253

vs. 

GAMETIME: 7:30pm

TV: CSN. NHL Network outside the 606

RODEO CLOWNS: Flames Nation

RECORDS: Cal And Gary – 1-4-1   Hawks – 3-3-0

Projected Lineups

SCORE ADJUSTED CF%: Cal And Gary – 50.2% (15th)  Hawks – 50.5% (13th)

POWER PLAY: Cal And Gary – 4.0% (Dead ass last)  Hawks – 20.8% (10th)

PENALTY KILL: Cal And Gary – 74.2% (23rd)  Hawks – 42.9% (Dead Ass Last)

TRENDS: Gaudreau and Monahan were a combined -8 against St. Louis last game, the Flames power play is 1-for-25

Much like the Hawks, the Flames start to the season hasn’t exactly kicked into gear like they’d hoped (and getting skulled twice by the Oilers probably hasn’t helped matters much). Cal and Gary stroll in with only one win and three point of the 12 that were on offer. And some of the same problems have bothered the Flames that have bothered the Hawks.

Everything Else

Flames Spotlight: You’re Not In Missouri Anymore, Moose

By October 24, 2016 1312

It was something of a surprise not just that the Blues traded Brian Elliot to Calgary, they’ve always wanted to give the job to Jay Gallon, but just how aggressively they did. A 2nd and a 3rd for a goalie that had just been to the conference final and whose five years in Meth County had seen a combined SV% of .925 (somewhat boosted by his ridiculous .940 in half the starts in ’11-’12, but still) seemed a tad on the low side, even if conceding for Elliot’s over-30 age. While three starts is hardly enough of a sample, what Elliot might be finding out soon enough is that he needed the Blues more than they needed him.

Everything Else

Everybody’s Doing Just What They’re Told To – Blackhawks 4, Maple Leafs 4 (OT); Hawks win tickle fight 2-1

By October 23, 2016 1322

Box Score

HockeyStats.ca

Natural Stat Trick

Let’s start this off with a cliche, shall we? The NHL regular season is a marathon. There will be ups and downs and by 82 games, the correct teams will be properly slotted in the standings. The majority of the games will feel like a blur and are totally forgettable. Some are a little memorable.

Last night’s may be filed in the category of memorable – at least in regards to the last two minutes of regulation.

Everything Else

To All The Young Dudes: Leafs at Hawks Preview/Cubs Pregame

By October 22, 2016 1282

 vs. 

PUCK DROP: 6pm Central thanks to HNIC

TV: WGN, CBC in the Great White North

THE ZOO: Pension Plan Puppets 

Projected Lineups

POSSESSION STATS: Leafs – 54.5 CF% (4th)  Hawks – 51.1 CF% (9th)

POWER PLAY: Leafs – 23.7% (7th)  Hawks – 27.8 (6th)

PENALTY KILL: Leafs 83.3% (16th)  Hawks – do you even wanna know?

TRENDS: Kadri has three points his past two games, you may have heard Auston Matthews has five goals

The Hawks turn right around tonight and face another team full of young go-hards. Though where the Jackets had most of their youth on the blue line, tonight they’ll see the Maple Leafs who are oozing youthful machismo up front. The Hawks certainly won’t get much of a break in pace tonight.

Everything Else

Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! Kill!: Jackets 3 – Hawks 2

By October 21, 2016 1479

Box Score

Hockey Stats

Natural Stat Trick

Yes, I’m well aware these aren’t the same movies, but just allow it, all right?

Once again, the Hawks had an ugly period (no, don’t make your menstruation joke here, because as Ash vs. Evil Dead taught us vaginas are powerful and life-affirming and should never be mocked). That one segment kind of colors everything else about the game, perhaps unfairly. The penalty kill remains a tire fire inside of a dumpster fire contained in a landfill fire. But as always, there are things to be learned. Oh, and some bad luck didn’t help the cause. Let’s get to it, shall we? We all have drinking to do.