Faxes from Uncle Dale

Category: Everything Else

  • Looks Different Now: Hawks 0 – Oilers 5

    Looks Different Now: Hawks 0 – Oilers 5

    Box Score

    Natural Stat Trick

    Hockey Stats

    Well it wasn’t the Sam Gagner game. But it was probably the worst game the Hawks have suffered through in EdMo since then. That said, the Hawks put up 18 shots in the 2nd period and 28 in through 40, so to say they were completely dominated is just wide of the mark. However, the other team applied the formula the Hawks had been through most of the season. Convert on the power play, have your big stars punch through when they get an opportunity, have your goalie stand tall during a deluge. The Oilers did all that, thanks to McDavid, Klefbom, Draisaitl, and Cam and Magic Talbot. The Hawks didn’t do any of it. This is what you get.

    (more…)

  • Frigid Forms Sell – Hawks at Oilers Preview, Proof Of Concept

    250px-Ozymandias at ball-of-oil

    Game Time: 8:00PM CST
    TV/Radio: NBCSN, WGN-AM 720
    Rear View Mirror: OilersNation

    blackhawks-lineup-card

    oilers-lineup-card

    The times, they are a-changing in Edmonton. They’ve got a fancy new building wherein the lights are actually at full power and the benches are on the proper side of the ice, even if that ice is not as fast or as high a quality as that at Northlands/SkyReach/Rexall (sky point). They’re even trying the novel concept of having the puck more than the other team, which so far has yielded positive, if modest results.

    (more…)

  • Hey Rocky, Watch Me Pull Two Points Outta My Hat: Hawks 4 – Whatever They Are 3 (OT)

    Hey Rocky, Watch Me Pull Two Points Outta My Hat: Hawks 4 – Whatever They Are 3 (OT)

    Box Score

    Hockey Stats

    Natural Stat Trick

    I won’t lie to you, dear reader. None of us thought the Vancouver Canucks were worth wasting one shred of a Saturday night over. So let’s try something different and follow the game through our favorite Canucks fan’s eyes, @HockeyDipShit.

    https://twitter.com/HockeyDipshit/status/800046181120282624

    https://twitter.com/HockeyDipshit/status/800046438088486913

    (more…)

  • Seaward With The C-Words – Hawks at Canucks Preview, Scrap Metal Collection Stop

    250px-Ozymandias at 

    Game Time: 9:00PM CST
    TV/Radio: CSN, SportsNet, SportsNet 1, WGN-AM 720
    A Literal Statue Of A Coach Bitching At A Ref: Nucks Misconduct, Canucks Army

    blackhawks-lineup-card

    canucks-lineup-card

    As the Hawks continue westward to the edge of the continent, tonight they will make their usual first Saturday night stop on the Circus Trip in Vancouver for a late tilt against whatever the hell it is the Canucks are anymore.

    (more…)

  • Now Have Some Delicious Tripe: Hawks 3 – Flames 2

    Now Have Some Delicious Tripe: Hawks 3 – Flames 2

    Box Score

    Hockey Stats

    Natural Stat Trick

    It certainly wasn’t vintage stuff, other than the Flames’ amazing throwback jerseys that they need to wear every game. Not just home games. EVERY. GAME. Once again the Hawks gave up 30 shots. Once again they didn’t muster that many. Once again they were pretty much reduced to one line and what they could come up with on the power play. But this being the Flames, this being the Flames playing their third game in four nights, and this being the Flames without their best player, it was enough. Because Corey Crawford makes sure it’s enough. That’s been the MO, and it’s worked thus far. As long as it keeps working, it’ll provide enough time for the Hawks to figure the rest out.

    (more…)

  • Bovine University – Hawks at Flames Preview, Pot Luck Office Lunch

    250px-Ozymandias at eternal flame

    Game Time: 8:00PM CST
    TV/Radio: CSN, CBC, SportsNet, WGN-AM 720
    Harvey The Hound’s Rotting Severed Head: Flames Nation

    blackhawks-lineup-card

    flames-lineup-card

    After failing to pull even a point out of a game for the first time in nearly a month, the Ramblin’ Boys of Pleasure continue the Western Canadian portion of the final Circus Trip tonight in Calgary, taking on an undermanned Flames group.

    (more…)

  • Flames Spotlight: Someone Teach Cal And Gary How To Dougie

    Flames Spotlight: Someone Teach Cal And Gary How To Dougie

    How quickly things change, especially in a Canadian market where every game is seemingly a referendum on the entire morale of a city or province. It was barely 18 months ago when Flames fans and front office were failing to hide their glee at heisting Dougie Hamilton from Boston GM Don Sweeney, who was still definitely only sporting a learner’s permit and should not have been operating the vehicle alone. Holy run-on sentences, Batman!

    Fast forward to now and suddenly there are rumblings that Hamilton could be on the trade block. How did we get here? Well, some of it has to do with misuse, some of it perception, some of it cap problems, and some of it the lingering cloud that is the incoming Las Vegas franchise.

    (more…)

  • Wednesday Mishegas

    Wednesday Mishegas

    Just a few notes to go over on this offday on the last Circus Trip ever. By the way, can we make it the last circus ever? Like, is the circus something we need anymore? I don’t think it is. Elephants are awesome and not a single one should be kept in chains. I guess that Cirque de Solei stuff is cool, there are no animals in that. But if we had to sacrifice that to have no circuses ever, I’m good. Anyway…

    -So what had everyone on buzz on Twitter this morning was a tidbit from Elliotte Friedman’s 30 thoughts. If you can’t be bothered to read the thing, even though it should be required reading for every hockey fan every week and I still can’t believe they surround Friedman with a gaggle of buffoons every Saturday night on HNIC, he speculates that Brandon Saad might be available from the Jackets. Apparently he was last year too, and the Hawks at least kicked the tires on it.

    Ok, first of all, the idea that the Jackets would even consider this makes me weep for the state of the human race, and I’ve done enough of that already in the past week. There’s no question that Jarmo and especially Torts have little idea what they’re doing. Saad is somehow fifth in ice time amongst their forwards, even though he’s the best forward they have. I don’t even know how this is open for debate. He’s also their best possession player once again, because that’s this thing that he does.

    While this rant really shouldn’t go on any longer, Saad scored over 30 goals last year. Only 28 players managed that feat last season. That’s 7% of all forwards who laced them up all year. These are valuable fucking commodities. Somehow goals, y’know, the thing we measure who wins and loses by, are not nearly as valued as they should be. Seeing as how hockey’s scoring is starting to resemble soccer’s more and more, maybe guys who can score should be valued in the same way. If you score 20 goals in a season in soccer, they honestly don’t give a fuck what else you do. Christiano Ronaldo hasn’t seen his own half in like six years. Does anyone care?

    Rant over. Now to Saad.

    (more…)

  • I Was Bored Before I Even Began: Jets 4, Blackhawks 0

    I Was Bored Before I Even Began: Jets 4, Blackhawks 0

    Box Score

    HockeyStats.ca

    Natural Stat Trick

    Welcome to the regular season, slog. It’s much easier to get through it when the Hawks win. When they lose, it looks like tonight.

    (more…)

  • And I’m Welcome No More: A Special Guest Hawks-Jets Preview

    And I’m Welcome No More: A Special Guest Hawks-Jets Preview

    Hawk Wrestler vs. Kenny Smith

    RECORDS: Hawks 11-3-2  Jets 8-7-2

    PUCK DROP: 7pm

    TV: CSN

    HOTH: Arctic Ice Hockey

    PROJECTED LINEUPS

    blackhawks-lineup-card

    jets-lineup-card

    SCORE-ADJUSTED CORSI%: Hawks – 50.3% (11th)  Jets – 48.8% (23rd)

    POWER PLAY: Hawks – 19.0% (14th)   Jets – 18.7% (16th)

    PENALTY KILL: Hawks – One day soon!  Jets – 81.7% (17th)

    TRENDS: Laine hasn’t scored a hat trick in like a week so he sucks

    Gonna try sometin’ a little different today. Krista, a HockeeNight refugee, wanted to let everyone know what you should think about the Winnipeg Jets. We’re going to allow her to do so here. Enjoy, and follow her on Twitter @lechatsavant.

    Greetings, everyone. I come to you as someone who knows the Winnipeg Jets all too well. They are a vile bunch of whiners who choose to revise history rather than accept it. I’m all too familiar with this team. You see, I began my love of hockey as an Atlanta Thrashers fan.

    It was my best friend who introduced me to hockey via the Thrashers, and we got to the point where we could gauge a win or a loss based on only the goalie (Pavelec good, Mason bad). We were hopeful that nothing would come of the rumors that the team would be relocated. That was some beautiful hope, but it was shattered on May 31, 2011. That was the day the Thrashers died and the Jets were born.

    (more…)