Tag: Jon Cooper is a sexual deviant

  • Live From The Five Hole – Heat Wave

    Live From The Five Hole – Heat Wave

    Oh Christ this shit it is awful. Please enjoy this in air conditioning.

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  • Too Many Men – Hawks Beat Oilers, Predictably Lose To Flyers & Bolts

    Too Many Men – Hawks Beat Oilers, Predictably Lose To Flyers & Bolts

    Well, at least the Witching Hour of the trade deadline drawing nearer feels to have a bit of purpose with Kyle Davidson permanently installed as the General Manager with his interim tag lifted. And now he’ll get the opportunity to really show what his vision for this team is, and he quickly did so by jettisoning part of the pro scouting department, which always seemed to land on players that had previously been in the organ-I-zation but couldn’t play dead. Of course, this now begs the question why both Henrik Borgstrom and Erik Gustafsson sat all three of these games if they are out of favor with the team and are trade candidates with scouts in attendance nightly and the Hawks playing for exactly fuckall with 25 games still to go. Maybe Kyle’s still just getting the hang of this thing.

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  • Up To Nothing – Lightning vs Hawks Game 49 Preview

    Up To Nothing – Lightning vs Hawks Game 49 Preview

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    Game Time: 7:00 PM
    TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago+, WGN-AM 720
    Touchdown Tom: Raw Charge

    It seems fitting that the Hawks and Bolts will close out their season series exactly where it was projected that both teams would, with Tampa able to clinch their playoff berth with a victory of any kind tonight, and the Hawks all but mathematically eliminated, could very well be a mere 2 points away from doing so by night’s end depending on the results of the Stars and Preds’ games, who are both in action against the Canes and Cats respectively.

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  • Mediocrity Gets You Pears – Bolts Sweep Hawks 4-2, 4-1

    Mediocrity Gets You Pears – Bolts Sweep Hawks 4-2, 4-1

    Box Scores: Game 30 Game 31
    Event Logs: Game 30 Game 31
    Natural Stat Trick: Game 30 Game 31

     

    It wasn’t so long ago where the Hawks were on the flip side of the story with what transpired in Tampa over the weekend; where they’d be able to keep a team at arm’s length and hold them by their own forehead as they impotently flailed and swung away, never landing a single punch. The Bolts did exactly that to the Hawks over the weekend, leaning on them when it was necessary and never having to exert even the slightest bit more effort than was necessary, and walking away with two regulation wins in the process. March was always going to be a reality check for the West Side Hockey Club, and with their season series against Tampa nearly complete with a 1-5-1 record (compared to Tampa’s 6-0-1, leaving only a single shootout point on the table), the results are now lining up with the process.

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  • Are You Caught Up In An Argument Or Are You So Lost in Modern Art? – Lightning at Hawks Games 24, 25, & 26 Preview

    Are You Caught Up In An Argument Or Are You So Lost in Modern Art? – Lightning at Hawks Games 24, 25, & 26 Preview

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    Game Times: 7:00 (3/4, 3/5), 1:30 (3/7)
    TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago (3/4, 3/5), NBC (3/7), TVA-S (3/7), SportsNet (3/7), WGN-AM 720
    Bottomless Seas: Raw Charge

    After spending the majority of February floating above the detritus of the makeshift Central Division by virtue of MVP and Calder/Vezina caliber performances, the Hawks now begin March on the West Side finally facing again a Tampa Bay Lightning team that has not slowed down since dongwhipping the Hawks in the opening series, or even their playoff run in the bubble last year. “In Like A Lion”, indeed.

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  • The New What Next – Hawks at Lightning – Games 1 & 2 Preview

    The New What Next – Hawks at Lightning – Games 1 & 2 Preview

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    Game Times: 7:00PM (1/13) & 6:00PM (1/15)
    TV/Radio: NBCSN (1/15), NBC Sports Chicago (1/15), WGN-AM 720
    Tonight We’re Gonna Give It 35%: Raw Charge

    Despite every indication that this shouldn’t be happening from both the world at large given that pestilence still ravaging this country, and the fact that the league itself has said that they’d probably be better off simply NOT playing, the NHL regular season (such as it is) begins tonight. And the Tampa Bay Lightning will raise their championship banner in front of no one while an already decimated Hawks team looks on at a vague reminder of what once was and now seems so desperately far away.

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  • Game #23 – Hawks vs. Lightning Preview – Walking Is Still Honest

    Game #23 – Hawks vs. Lightning Preview – Walking Is Still Honest

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    Game Time: 6:30PM CST
    TV/Radio: NBCSN, NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720
    The Business Of Pleasure: Raw Charge

    In a manner befitting of their relative age as far as the hockey world is concerned, rather than spend Black Friday in California as they have done in years past, the Hawks have opted to go the snow bird route and kick off the holiday season in Florida, starting tonight in Tampa against the lecherous Jon Cooper and his Lightning.

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  • Game #8 – Lightning vs. Hawks Preview – Business? Pleasure? The Business Of Pleasure?

    Game #8 – Lightning vs. Hawks Preview – Business? Pleasure? The Business Of Pleasure?

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    Game Time: 6:00PM CDT
    TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720
    Spanish Moss: Raw Charge

    Tonight the Hawks will cap off the traditional 3-in-4 stretch weekend stretch by welcoming the eastern conference powerhouse that all of the galaxy brained hockey minds seemingly always forget about, the Tampa Bay Lightning, who themselves are also bringing a weekend Midwest swing to a close.

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  • Watching The Party – FFUD’s Round 2 Preview: Bruins vs Lightning -or- Pints Of Guinness Make You Strong

    Watching The Party – FFUD’s Round 2 Preview: Bruins vs Lightning -or- Pints Of Guinness Make You Strong

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    While the Penguins and Capitals take part in what is almost a rote annual exercise at this point elsewhere in the East, since the Bruins made it clear they had their shit together this year around Thanksgiving, this has been the de facto conference final that they and the Lightning have been on a collision course for. And it’s sure to provide some of the most entertaining hockey of the post-season.

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  • Watching The Party – FFUD’s First Round Preview – Ning vs Devils or: A Clear Line

    Watching The Party – FFUD’s First Round Preview – Ning vs Devils or: A Clear Line

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    Schedule:  G1 Thursday, G2 Saturday, G3 April 16th, G4 April 18th

    After a serious push and some back and forth from the Bruins in the Flortheast division, ultimately the division and the top record in the east were held by the favored, well-rounded, and supple Tampa Bay Lightning, doing what they were supposed to do during the regular season. Their opponent, however, is somewhat unexpected in the New Jersey Devils, who managed to fall ass backwards into a playoff spot after a hot streak that saw them leading the Metro division even around Christmas time even in the middle of a supposed rebuild.

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