Everything Else

Johnny Kick A Hole In The Sky

By 2421

Yes, that is a Chili Peppers reference and yes, there was a time when the Chili Peppers were good. It’s far off in the distance now, most of you were probably not born or forgot there was a time when you were young. I know I have. But I swear to you, there was a time. And it was more than the time Anthony Kiedis shot himself in the foot in Point Break, which is assuredly the first joke McClure will make and I’m going to beat him to the punch.

BUT THAT’S NOT WHY YOU CALLED.

The Hawks did address defensive depth tonight, something that had been rumored they were thinking about which confused us all, just a bit. They acquired Johnny Oduya from the Dallas Stars for the gimp they’ve been keeping in the cellar known as Mark McNeill, a 4th round pick that can become a 3rd depending on how the spring goes for the Hawks, and the Stars will retain 50% of O.D’s salary. Make your joke about Jim Nill’s water retention here…

Everything Else

Cleaning Up The House

By 1449

Not much going on today. Crawford isn’t as sick but won’t play tomorrow against the Penguins. Niklas Hjalmarsson won’t play the rest of the week, and that’s worth keeping an eye on, or at least his return is. A non-healthy Hammer when things start to matter would be worrisome indeed.

Other than that, the Hawks extended Jordin Tootoo and Michal Rozsival for a year, and some of this is for expansion draft purposes. In fact, it’s all about expansion draft purposes. The Hawks didn’t have what was required to expose in the draft in June, or at least not in a way that could prevent them from having to expose both Ryan Hartman and Marcus Kruger.

Everything Else

Doused In Mud, Soaked In Bleach: Blues 2 – Hawks 4

By 1378

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

I know that NBCSN wanted to position this game as some important late-season clash, with a lot on the line. We know there wasn’t. And really, tonight was an excellent example of how the Blues have no idea what it is they want to be, and how they want to go being about whatever it is they think they are. The Hawks simply kicked them to shits in the first period. and if it wasn’t for Jay Gallon and Trevor van Riemsdyk, the Hawks could have been up a touchdown. Like we’ve seen a lot of over the past couple years, they spent the second period playing with their food, and gave up a tying goal. And then when they wanted to be serious again, they smothered the Blues and eventually got their deserved winner. This was as elementary as it gets, and just about a pure demonstration of what the Hawks and Blues “rivalry” has been for nine years now when the Hawks have given even the slightest fuck and had a roster even close to matching.

Everything Else

Meet The New Boss – Blues vs Hawks Preview, Rough Draft

By 1410

 vs 

Game Time: 6:30PM CST
TV/Radio: NBCSN, WGN-AM 720
Dexter Fowler’s Biggest Fans: SLGT

Now that the Mike Yeo era began a little quicker in West East St. Louis than most outside of this outlet anticipated, the Blues still find themselves at a crossroads organizationally. This is still basically the same group that Ken Hitchcock couldn’t do anything with, and now that the Blues have fired their fourth of the four winningest coaches of all time, they’re left wondering if it’s at all worth going through another one-and done playoff visit, being essentially locked into their current playoff position. And of course that mean bringing their usual brand of bullshit into the UC tonight.

Everything Else

Beautiful Garbage: Yotes 3 – Hawks 6

By 1405

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Coming into this one, you had a feeling it could get weird in some way. Not unlike heading into Exit on a weekend night. The Hawks had labeled the Yotes once at the UC, and then played out some absurdist shit out in the desert where the Hawks were clearly trying to get out with two points with the minimum amount of effort and let the Yotes back into it constantly. It’s a wonder Crawford doesn’t wield a butterfly knife at his defense on nights like this, because Darling never sees this kind of negligence.

And tonight fit the bill, as the Hawks pretty much scored at will but also couldn’t locate a fuck to give in their own zone if it had blinking lights and an airhorn on it for the first 20 minutes, if not 40. But against what is basically a hybrid NHL-AHL team, you can do that. Especially when Mike Smith is looking for the Phantom Tollbooth.

Let’s clean it up:

Everything Else

American Garbage – Coyotes vs Hawks Preview, Southwest Airlines Points Redemption

By 1753

 vs 

Game Time: 7:30PM
TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
Joe Arpaio Should Die In Prison: Five For Howling

If it feels like forever since the Hawks had a traditional 7:30 start at home at the UC, it kind of has, as it’s been nearly a month since they had one. It was a riveting affair, as they always are, against the Winnipeg Jets on January 26th, and tonight figures to be just as rollicking against the the league’s second worst team in the visiting Arizona Phoenix Glendale Coyotes/Quebec Nordiques/Seattle Metropolitans.

Everything Else

Toews The Dead

By 1586

If I were you, every time I saw the word “narrative” in any post about anything, I’d run screaming for the hills. I know I’m sick of seeing them, and sick of writing them. Maybe I just need a better synonym for the word. It’s hard to find one though. Account? Story? Chronicle? We’ll work on it.

Jonathan Toews’s recent scoring binge is just the latest turn in what has become the complete slapstick-gone-wrong way we watch and cover sports these days. We can thank Twitter for basically ruining everything, and this is just another example. Because once again, we mistake those shouting the loudest for being in the majority, when these are usually two very separate things. But say it enough, and it at least feels like reality if not outright becoming so.

There are certain truths to Toews. He is a great player. He is having possibly his worst season in the NHL (and even with this binge is still in a lot of ways, but we’ll get to that). These two things are not mutually exclusive, but they sure get treated like they are.

Everything Else

Another World Awaits Us – Blackhawks 5, Wild 3

By 1174

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

HockeyStats.ca

Here’s one way to beat Devan Dubnyk – shoot the puck when he’s not looking.

The Hawks scored twice in the third period and caught Dubnyk with his proverbial pants down each time. The first goal was off a face-off where Nick Schmaltz collected the puck and fired it towards the net in one motion. Dubnyk had no idea where the puck was.

A few minutes later and after an annoying Zach Parise goal (are there any other kind?), Schmaltz made another nifty play by giving a no-look, behind the back pass from below the goal line. Dubnyk was tracking the player instead of the puck and by the time he realized the puck was on his left side, Toews was chipping it past him.

This gave the Hawks a 4-2 lead. Of course, the Wild came back because that’s what they do. Corey Crawford was there and Toews finished off his virtuoso performance by scoring an empty-netter from 150 feet away.

That’s that.

Other things that came to mind…

–The Round Mound of Minnetonka Bruce Boudreau is an easy punching bag and tonight was a great example why. Visitors to this site know that Mikko Koivu drinks Jonathan Toews’ milkshake on a regular occurrence. So tonight, Boudreau decided to give Erik Haula’s line a chance to match up against him for…reasons.

Maybe Boudreau was experimenting or tinkering to see what they could do in a future playoff matchup. But I think the answer became crystal clear in the second period after the Toews line scored twice on back-to-back shifts. As we’ve seen for the past decade…when Boudreau is asked to adjust a gameplan in-game, he is unable to.

This led to a third period where the Toews line found the back of the net three more times. As I mentioned, maybe Boudreau was giving it a whirl to see what would happen. It sort of reminds me of how I would suck things up like socks or plastic bags with the vacuum when I was a kid because I wanted to see what would happen.

–The Wild are a very quick team and play just as fast but as McClure noted during the game, there is no structure in their breakouts or in the offensive zone. A typical Wild offensive sequence consists of firing as many pucks on net as possible from whatever angle is open and/or going high to low.

This will lead to the occasional annoying goal but when they play a team that is disciplined and well-structured, it will also lead to periods like the second where the Hawks quickly snuffed out any chances and counter-attacked like crazy. All four lines dominated in the second period and the Hawks very easily could’ve put the game away then if it weren’t for a few excellent Dubnyk saves.

–The Kid line of Vince Strohs-Kero-Hartman was extra grindy tonight and probably deserved scoring a garbage goal. For the first two periods, they had the Wild pinned in their zone and behind their net. Their shifts felt like 50 seconds of Hartman and Hinostroza continually skating behind the Wild net and pushing the puck to the slot where two or three point blank shots were fired at Dubnyk. Against lesser competition, they’re probably rewarded with at least a couple of goals.

–So maybe worrying about Jonathan Toews was a little silly. Also, I’m dying to see how Boudreau tries to match up against his line in a 7 game series. Sadly, the Flames will beat them in 7 so we’ll never know.

–At least the officials got tonight’s illegal Parise no goal call right. Parise scored midway in the third after batting a puck out of the air that was nearly over his head. The official made the no-goal call immediately and there was no need to even review it.

Had the league got the offsides call right two weeks ago, the Hawks would’ve taken 4 of the last 4 points from the Xcel Center. Alas.

–Not to only shit on the Haula line but Scandella and Dumba were absolutely scorched by the Hawks to the tune of a combined -26 Corsi. And Boudreau couldn’t wait to put both of them out there when Suter and Spurgeon were off the ice.

–The Hawks take on the Yotes on Thursday. We’ll see if Arizona leaves any of their players here after the game.