Hockey

Corey Perry – There really was nothing better than Corey Perry having to do the football field walk of shame at the Winter Classic not five minutes in. Except that it nearly ended Ryan Ellis’s season, it was a terrible ad for the NHL on its biggest stage, and Corey Perry should be locked in a phone booth full of wasps. This guy can’t score anymore, can’t move anymore, so all he can do is his bullshit. He’ll be out of the league next year, and we can’t wait. He’s been Milan Lucic for years, except even dirtier.

Jamie Benn – It ain’t easy to get to heaven when you won’t go down.

Andrew Cogliano – Only because he’s assuredly going to score against the Hawks again today. With Zucker off to the East, he’s in contention for biggest Hawk-annoyance left.

Everything Else

Our friend Jen has been our Ducks outlet for more years than she’d probably like to remember. She’s a former contributor to Puck Daddy as well, but is much more pleasant than Wyshynsky. You can follow her on Twitter @MsJenNeale.

Everything Else

oc ducks vs oldschool

Game Time: 7:00PM CDT
TV/Radio: CSN+, NHLN (US & Canada), RDS, WGN-AM 720
Mommy’s Little Monster: Anaheim Calling, Battle of California

Whether anyone wants to believe it or not, this Ducks team enters tonight’s tilt on West Madison only two points off what was a record pace from last year’s Hawks team during an abbreviated campaign. But then again, last year’s Ducks weren’t off far off that pace either, and they ended up bowing out in 7 games to Scum. A longer season should reveal more truths about both squads, with the two teams squaring off this evening.

Everything Else

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Game Time: 7:30PM Central
TV/Radio: CSN, NHLN (US), WGN-AM 720
Dawn of the Dead: Anaheim CallingBattle of California

Since the last time these two teams met, both teams have managed to go a combined 1-5 with Anaheim carrying a four game losing streak into the United Center. The Ducks lost both back-to-back sets with the Red Wings and Sharks, respectively, looking pretty awful in the process.