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Game #72 – Canucks vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: The Upcoming Breaking Of Thatcher Demko

First of all, Thatcher is a dumb name. And you should get used to it because all Canadian parents have done for the past 15-20 years is find dumber and dumber names for their children. Watch especially what comes out of the Western Hockey League and soon the NHL will be filled with guys who you’re going to want to punch simply by hearing what they’re called. There once was a “Motorboat Jones” in minor-league baseball. You’ll long for that when you’re hearing about Ryker and Cage (we assume the former doesn’t know how to sit in a chair either).

Anyway, Thatcher Demko is NEXT in Vancouver, and they’ve been waiting for him for a bit after he starred at Boston College. Except no one cannibalizes their goalies quite like Vancouver. Roberto Luongo couldn’t wait to get out of there, and came to hate his contract that kept him longer than he wanted to be. Then Cory Schneider went. They apparently kept Eddie Lack’s soul when he moved along to Carolina.

But it’s not just the cycling through, it’s what’s pinned on them. Either because of all the rain, or their isolation, or just their general oeuvre, no one likes to stab themselves where everyone can see more than the Canucks Army. And that almost always comes through the goalie. That’s after they spend years telling you how this is going to be the one to save them, only to turn on them after their first playoff loss.

So welcome to it, Thatcher. An entire province’s self-worth will ride on you one day. And don’t worry, they won’t let you forget it.

 

Game #72 Preview Suite

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

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