This episode is way better than High Noon. Or The Second Half. Or The Midday Midway. Thank you.
Author: McClure
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Live From The Five Hole – Heat Wave
Oh Christ this shit it is awful. Please enjoy this in air conditioning.
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Live From The Five Hole – The Future Freaks Me Out
The Hawks season is thankfully over and the Bears season is only kind of just starting. It’s all a problem. Your continued support is appreciated.
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Bring Wood And Oil – Hawks vs Flyers, Golden Knights, and Sabres To Mercifully Conclude Season
At long last, sweet release is drawing nearer. There are only 3 games remaining in this utter nightmare abomination of a season, and not a moment too soon. There is nothing left to learn or discern from any of this, especially now that for some reason Lukas Reichel is setting Rockford rookie scoring records while ALSO having burned the first year of his contract. Truly impressive on a lot of fronts.
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Vagabonds Of The Western World – Hawks at Coyotes, Kings, and Sharks Preview
As this death march of a season mercifully draws ever closer, the Hawks find themselves out for one last swing through the West in order to play two completely meaningless games bookending a game that really only serves schadenfraude purposes.
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Live From The Five Hole – Creeping Death
The outlook isn’t good. Happy belated Easter and Passover. Thank you as always.
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This Place Is A Prison – Hawks Lose To Seattle, Dallas, & LA – Losing Streak Hits 6
There’s really not much to say at this point. Even for this being the post-deadline final kick for teams that have been long dead such as the Hawks, this recent stretch has been absolute dog shit. During this past week the Hawks got deservedly shut out at home by an expansion franchise that is actually trying for a slow build, allowed one of the most boring teams in the league to put six goals on them, and got absolutely dog walked in terms of possession by a team missing its best (and credibly accused sex criminal) defenseman.
Lukas Reichel has been called up and he’s been noticeable, but still hasn’t put the puck in the back of the net yet because the entire Hawk attack is now being very easily pushed to the perimeter. Neither goalie looks like he will be in the league next year, and Kevin Lankinen’s rebound control has only worsened since he got through the division once in last year’s goofy ass intra-division schedule. Jonathan Toews has hung the I’m Not Interested sign and adorned it with flashing neon lights and truthfully he cannot be blamed in the least at this point – hell, look how this post is even constructed. Even the reliable and enjoyable Alex Debrincat has gone cold and been stuck on 39 goals for a while now, and it is in no way a coincidence that the Hawks have not even been competitive in these games when he’s not making the score sheet. There aren’t even any kids on the absolutely desolate blue line to look for growth out of because Calvin de Haan and Erik Gustafsson have consistently still been dressed up until the the LA game. That’s the same Erik Gustafsson who wasn’t good enough for the dog ass Flyers blue line and was brought in to be a power play specialist and has scored precisely ZERO power play goals. In fact the Hawks do not have a single power play goal from a defenseman, which is truly a fucking marvel.
The box scores and possession numbers are out there for any reader who needs to further punish themselves with this. But for any sane person, at least the ride is almost over.
