Faxes from Uncle Dale

Tag: Jason Demers

  • Game #30 – Coyotes vs. Hawks Preview, Homebrew Sampling – Candy Cigarettes & Cap Guns

     vs 

    Game Time: 6:00
    TV/Radio: WGN Ch. 9, WGN-AM 720
    I Really Wish Joe Arpaio Would Have Been Brutally Murdered In Prison: Five For Howling

    It’s once again time for another tearful montage as a returning Hawks player appears in the United Center in an opposing uniform for the first time, one of the underrated aspects of how this championship window has played out, somehow being actually heartwarming, nauseating, sad, and hilarious all at the same time. Tonight would  have been that for the injured Niklas Hjalmarsson,  and this is the thanks he would have received for the absolute pounding he took while wearing red on West Madison for years, as he returns with the dog-ass (GET IT?) Coyotes.

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  • Your Friends And Neighbors – ’17-’18 NHL Team Previews: Would You Buy Furniture From Unpainted Huffhines?

    Your Friends And Neighbors – ’17-’18 NHL Team Previews: Would You Buy Furniture From Unpainted Huffhines?

    As the latest team to be run by a analytic wunderkind, every hockey fan who’d like to see the game move forward in any way, there is some investment in the success of the Arizona Coyotes. With some smart summer moves (not necessarily Hjalmarsson), the Yotes are going to be some people’s pick to surprise. They’re not there yet, or at least don’t look it, but they’re finally trending up. Whether they can get anyone to care in the desert is a question that’s gone on far too long and will never die.

    Arizona Coyotes

    ’16-’17 Record: 30-42-10  70 points (6th in Pacific)

    Team Stats 5v5: 45.0 CF% (30th)  44.9 SF% (30th)  42.6 SCF% (30th)  7.2 SH% (20th)  .924 SV% (12th)

    Special Teams: 16.1 PP% (26th)  77.3 PK% (27th)

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  • Dead Cat Bounce – Panthers vs Hawks Preview, Account Overdraft Notification

    panthro panther vs 250px-Ozymandias

    Game Time: 7:30PM CST
    TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
    Uncle Dale’s New Dysfunctional Family: Litter Box Cats

    panthers-lineup-card

    blackhawks-lineup-card

    Dale Tallon just can’t seem to find an organization that doesn’t have dysfunction among the front office braintrust. And after getting kicked upstairs this past summer, his replacement Tom Rowe has now descended to behind the Cats’ bench after unceremoniously launching Gerard Gallant on Sunday after a mediocre 11-10-1 start. And Tom Rowe will make his NHL head coaching debut at the United Center tonight as the Hawks return home from the final Circus Trip ever.

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