Faxes from Uncle Dale

Recent Posts

  • Game #1 vs. Penguins – Douchebag Du Jour: Dinosaurs Aren't Dead, They Play In The NHL

    Game #1 vs. Penguins – Douchebag Du Jour: Dinosaurs Aren't Dead, They Play In The NHL

    It’s not so much what Ryan Reaves is, because we’ve gone over that time and time again when he was belching and grunting his way through shifts in St. Louis. It’s that the two-time defending champions felt the need to trade for him that’s so dispiriting as a hockey fan.

    Because the Penguins didn’t need this before, when they were having two parades you might have seen. The Pens decided to populate their fourth line with kids who could just skate really fast. They might not have been the most skilled, Kuhnackl, Wilson. Sheary, Rowney last year were some of the hellions that simply skated other plodding units into dust. They did it the year before as well.

    That would also mean the last three champions didn’t need a “goon,” as the ’15 Hawks didn’t have one or need one. And generally these players are stripped of their jerseys in the playoffs, which lets you know that teams really do know deep down that they don’t serve any purpose.

    I’m sure what Jim Rutherford would tell you is that he sees players like Tom Wilson in Washington or the rapidly-decomposing Brandon Dubinsky in Columbus who is only going to punch Crosby in the head or whatever other jackass is keeping him up at night. But hockey always has it backwards. GMs see Wilson try and decapitate someone, and not get suspended for the 10-15 games that is warranted, and they don’t conclude that they have to get this type of player out of the game. They conclude they need one of their own.

    Hockey will remain in the dark, both in ages and viewership, until this type of dumbass brinksmanship is buried in the past. Let others have their morons, and score on the power plays they will assuredly give you.

    It’s a sad state of affairs when the team that’s won the past two championships is still paying attention to the wrong scoreboard.

    Game #1 Preview Posts

    Preview

    Q&A

    Lineups
  • Game #1 vs. Penguins – Douchebag Du Jour: Dinosaurs Aren’t Dead, They Play In The NHL

    Game #1 vs. Penguins – Douchebag Du Jour: Dinosaurs Aren’t Dead, They Play In The NHL

    It’s not so much what Ryan Reaves is, because we’ve gone over that time and time again when he was belching and grunting his way through shifts in St. Louis. It’s that the two-time defending champions felt the need to trade for him that’s so dispiriting as a hockey fan.

    Because the Penguins didn’t need this before, when they were having two parades you might have seen. The Pens decided to populate their fourth line with kids who could just skate really fast. They might not have been the most skilled, Kuhnackl, Wilson. Sheary, Rowney last year were some of the hellions that simply skated other plodding units into dust. They did it the year before as well.

    That would also mean the last three champions didn’t need a “goon,” as the ’15 Hawks didn’t have one or need one. And generally these players are stripped of their jerseys in the playoffs, which lets you know that teams really do know deep down that they don’t serve any purpose.

    I’m sure what Jim Rutherford would tell you is that he sees players like Tom Wilson in Washington or the rapidly-decomposing Brandon Dubinsky in Columbus who is only going to punch Crosby in the head or whatever other jackass is keeping him up at night. But hockey always has it backwards. GMs see Wilson try and decapitate someone, and not get suspended for the 10-15 games that is warranted, and they don’t conclude that they have to get this type of player out of the game. They conclude they need one of their own.

    Hockey will remain in the dark, both in ages and viewership, until this type of dumbass brinksmanship is buried in the past. Let others have their morons, and score on the power plays they will assuredly give you.

    It’s a sad state of affairs when the team that’s won the past two championships is still paying attention to the wrong scoreboard.

    Game #1 Preview Posts

    Preview

    Q&A

    Lineups
  • Game #1 vs. Penguins – Q&A With Mike Darnay of Pensburgh

    Game #1 vs. Penguins – Q&A With Mike Darnay of Pensburgh

    Mike Darnay is Editor-in-chief at Pensburgh.com. Follow him on Twitter @MikeDarnay, where he’ll be bitching about Liverpool FC as much as I am. 

    The Penguins have lost Bonino, Cullen, Daley, Cunitz, and Fleury from last year’s champs. Which of these will hurt most?

    I feel like this question might need to wait a little bit — at least until we see how Jim Rutherford decides to handle the 3C position. As it appears going into the season, losing Nick Bonino is going to hurt the most. If the Penguins can make a trade for someone like Riley Sheahan and remedy that roster spot, I think the answer might be Matt Cullen. He very quietly played a fantastic veteran role as a 4C (much like Michal Handzus did for Chicago, right?). (Not funny, Mike, -ED)
    (more…)

  • Game #1 vs. Penguins – Douchebag Du Jour: Dinosaurs Aren’t Dead, They Play In The NHL

    Game #1 vs. Penguins – Douchebag Du Jour: Dinosaurs Aren’t Dead, They Play In The NHL

    It’s not so much what Ryan Reaves is, because we’ve gone over that time and time again when he was belching and grunting his way through shifts in St. Louis. It’s that the two-time defending champions felt the need to trade for him that’s so dispiriting as a hockey fan.

    Because the Penguins didn’t need this before, when they were having two parades you might have seen. The Pens decided to populate their fourth line with kids who could just skate really fast. They might not have been the most skilled, Kuhnackl, Wilson. Sheary, Rowney last year were some of the hellions that simply skated other plodding units into dust. They did it the year before as well.

    That would also mean the last three champions didn’t need a “goon,” as the ’15 Hawks didn’t have one or need one. And generally these players are stripped of their jerseys in the playoffs, which lets you know that teams really do know deep down that they don’t serve any purpose.

    I’m sure what Jim Rutherford would tell you is that he sees players like Tom Wilson in Washington or the rapidly-decomposing Brandon Dubinsky in Columbus who is only going to punch Crosby in the head or whatever other jackass is keeping him up at night. But hockey always has it backwards. GMs see Wilson try and decapitate someone, and not get suspended for the 10-15 games that is warranted, and they don’t conclude that they have to get this type of player out of the game. They conclude they need one of their own.

    Hockey will remain in the dark, both in ages and viewership, until this type of dumbass brinksmanship is buried in the past. Let others have their morons, and score on the power plays they will assuredly give you.

    It’s a sad state of affairs when the team that’s won the past two championships is still paying attention to the wrong scoreboard.

    Game #1 Preview Posts

    Preview

    Q&A

  • Game #1 vs. Penguins: I Make A Lot Of Graphs

    Game #1 Posts

  • Game #1 – Penguins v. Hawks: Lineups

    *Corsi-percentage and expected-goals percentage are from last year

    (more…)

  • Gameday Beer Of The Week: Half Acre Sticky Fat

    In the interest of being a full-service hockey blog, we’re here to provide you the best in what you should be drinking while watching hockey. Because you’re drinking while watching hockey. And if you’re not, you should be. So we turn to our local expert, you may remember him from such blogs as this one in its previous forms (he did start the fucking thing), Matthew Killion! (@_Killion_)

    Hello! Been a while since you’ve seen my name on this site, unless it’s one of the many instances of slander from Fels. But we’re back! It’s time to talk some beers. We’ll roll these out weekly, maybe more if we get on a roll. So what should you be drinking this week? I’m going to go with Half Acre’s Sticky Fat. Is it cheating to use one of Half Acre’s beers for one of these since I work there? Maybe. But it’s the first time I’ve written one of these in a while so it’s a welcome little on-ramp. And it’s a damn good beer.

    (more…)

  • Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight – October 4th

    This is a new thing we’re gonna try this year, setting up every night’s action outside of the Hawks. We’ll see how it goes. 

    Game Of The Night

    Flames vs. Oilers (9pm)

    Fuck the banner-raising in Pittsburgh, as that’s going to be called by Mike Milbury and will involve the Blues. Although it’s hard to imagine a more perfect marriage than the Blues being watched by Milbury, who will assuredly spend a period and a half wondering how the Blues could have traded Ryan Reaves. Anyway, these are two of the three teams that are going to matter in the Pacific. And they’re way more interesting than the Ducks. Flames fans can already start cutting themselves if the Oilers light up Mike Smith, which you’d have to bet they would. See how Draisaitl shifts back to center and how the Oilers still have no defense.

    (more…)

  • Your Friends And Neighbors – ’17-’18 NHL Previews – A Speculative Fiction

    This league wide preview series at long last comes to its merciful end, fittingly in the last place anyone wants to be – Winnipeg.

    For as much shit as the Blues get for “This Time It Will Be Different”, the Jets continue to trot out the same roster year after year that simply isn’t good enough, led by a GM in Kevin Chevydayoff that cannot seem to get himself fired in spite of all of this inertia, and a coach in Paul Maurice who people simply accept as being competent for no other reason other than he has been behind a bench since he was 14 years old. But hey, things are bound to bounce their way sooner or later right?

    (more…)

  • Sit Back, Relax, and Strap it Down – ’17-’18 Blackhawks Player Previews: The Roster

    We have made it to the end of this crazy train that is our Blackhawks Player Previews, and no we get set to set to take a look at the roster as a whole. There are a lot of people with a lot of opinions on these Blackhawks, as some feel like they won’t even make the playoffs this season, and others feel like they’re ready to compete for the Stanley Cup again. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle (I think they’ll make the playoffs, and once they’re there just about anything could happen), but in reality there is a strong chance for either of those scenarios to play out.

    There’s a lot of “if’s” either way, so it’s basically up to the eye of the beholder which “if’s” seem more likely. They could be a Cup Contender if Corey Crawford remains the best goaltender in the Western Conference. They’ll probably miss the playoffs if Crawford experiences any sort of long term injury. They might be a Cup Contender if Alex DeBrincat and Nick Schmaltz can put up 60 points with Patrick Kane. They could miss the playoffs if those two can’t produce quite yet. They could be a Cup Contender if even two of Connor Murphy, Michal Kempny, and Gustav Forsling prove themselves as capable top-4 defensemen. They could miss the playoffs if those players don’t take the next step. All of those scenarios are certainly possible outcomes of the season, but which outcomes seem more likely are up to your perspective and outlook.

    Let’s take the Sam Fels Team Preview approach to this roster preview:

    Forwards: The Blackhawks probably have one of the better collections of top-end forward talent in the NHL, because it’s kinda hard to find a better potential line around the NHL than Saad-Toews-Kane, even if that likely will not be a good line. Anisimov is still a good middle-six center, and I explained in my Richard Panik preview why his good production last season is was probably not just a fluke. Ryan Hartman is an excellent third line forward who might be able to flash on your second line if necessary. Schmaltz and DeBrincat looked great in camp/the preseason and could have good seasons. The problem is their fourth line is going to be straight dog shit, Patrick Sharp has one good hip and might play significant time on the second line, and any of those top-nine forwards struggling to score could end up completely fucking up the season. I am generally an optimist and do believe this group as a whole could be quite good, but it may not go our way.

    Defense: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand here’s the real problem. Duncan Keith is 33 years old and might end up being their only good defenseman. Seabrook could finish the year weighing 300 lbs. Murphy is a huge question mark, and strangely he could end up being the key to the whole thing. If he’s good, the situation isn’t as dire. If he sucks, it’s made all the worse. Forsling has had flashes on both ends of the spectrum in the pre-season, which only proves how much of a question he is right now. Again, if he proves to be good, it’ll make things a lot better. If we get the same kind of play from him as we saw last year, it won’t make things worse necessarily, but the problem will remain. Kempny is damn near excellent, so hopefully that continues but without Q bottling him up. The problem is just there are just so many question marks about this group, and if Keith goes down they will be completely fucked. I guess we need to hope there is a good defenseman available on the trade market that StanBo can fit within the cap relief he’s getting. I’d call that unlikely.

    Goalies: Crawford is the best in the west, and has constantly been solid. He’s the most important Blackhawk bar none. If he gets hurt and misses significant time, they’re completely fucked. If he doesn’t he’s probably good enough to make up for the questions on defense and help this team make the playoffs, even in the Central. Forsberg being an average goalie is all the Hawks need, and that’s all I have to say about that.

    Overview: Again, a lot of question marks here, but this is probably a playoff team. They’re not on Nasvhille’s level overall, and especially not on the blue line, but the forward group isn’t too far off, and they have a far superior goaltender. But I don’t think anyone in the division caught up to this Blackhawks group that put up 109 points last year. I highly doubt Nashville struggles as bad during the regular season as they did last year, so the I don’t think Chicago will run into them again in the first round of the playoffs. I really think Nashville and Chicago are gonna end up finishing 1-2 in this division in some order, but again, the Blackhawks have a lot of questions and if the answers aren’t in their favors, they might even end up missing the playoffs. I have a lot of hope and optimism for this group, but I can’t blame you if you don’t.

    There’s not much more to be said now. Everything kicks off tomorrow. Go Blackhawks.