We don’t know where exactly we found @Brian5or6. That’s the case with most of our friends. We just ended up this way. Anyway, you can read his stuff at Brian5or6.com.
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Ok, so nine points out of a playoff spot, your owner is an asshat, the playing style is dross…. what’s getting you up in the morning?
I mostly get up in the morning to have a shower beer, if I’m being honest. Sometimes I just have a beer in bed. I like to reminisce about the good times when it was the best being a Sens fan. But ever since heart and soul player Marian Hossa left us, there has been something missing in my heart. And to fill that hole, I like to drink beer and lay out flat anyone who may get in my way. Like Gary. If you’re reading this Gary, I don’t forget! You know what you did.
Tell us about Guy Boucher. We always have a good chuckle when he’s thought of as some visionary. Twice he’s ridden a streaky goalie to a conference final while playing brain-puddle-forming hockey, and then seen that team bottom out when said streaky goalie streaks the other way. Are we missing something?
I’ll tell you about Guy Boucher. I want to remain calm but he gets my blood BOILING. He doesn’t adapt to today’s NHL game. If something goes wrong, he’ll still deploy the same old system THAT DOESN’T F’ING WORK. And then when the Sens lose and Guy Boucher blames it on things like “the schedule” or “illness” or “drunkenness” then I snap. I take the old AM radio and gently place it through my neighbors car windshield. And then the cops come. So basically, Guy Boucher is responsible for me being arrested and/or on probation What exactly were the Sens going to do with Matt Duchene? Certain to lose Turris so they just had to do something?
Turris wanted to stay in Ottawa. But I’m pretty sure he got dicked around by ownership. Look what happened with the Alfie situation when he went to Detroit. In a knee-jerk reaction, the Sens went out and acquired Bobby Ryan to help calm the riots in Carleton Place, Ontario. This is the same thing. Something blew up in the Turris negotiations so they quickly went out and acquired Matt Duchene. Thank f**k Matt Duchene is awesome, so he’ll stick around. But it’s bittersweet because I had recently wrote a wicked pop song about Kyle Turris but had to trash it when he left. How many players are going before the deadline?
Going where? Chuck E Cheese? Newsflash: Canada doesn’t have a Chuck E Cheese, and if I was an Ottawa Senator, that would be the last straw. I’d be asking for a trade out of Canada. So in reality, I expect at least 5 players moved by the deadline. Will someone take a chance on Dion Phaneuf? Chicago, I’m looking at you! Just kidding, I have no clue where Chicago is. The furthest I’ve ever been from home is Renfrew. As painful as this is, Erik Karlsson has one more season on his deal. It’s fairly well obvious he’s no sticking around. His value may not be any higher than it will be at the deadline, assuming anyone can fit him in, so any team can get two playoff runs with him minimum. Doesn’t Pierre Dorion have to see what’s out there?
If Erik Karlsson leaves Ottawa, I leave Ottawa. I will run away somewhere and live in a forest, off the grid. That’s how much he means to me personally and how much he means to the Senators. No matter what you do in this life, there are only two certainties: Death and Taxes. And signing Erik Karlsson to an 8 year extension. The end. But if he leaves I’m probably gonna start a fire. |
Game #42 Preview
