Faxes from Uncle Dale

Category: Everything Else

  • It Ends As It Was Always Going To

    We said this is how it would end the day it started, because it’s how these things almost always go. And everyone’s going to see what they want in the ending of the Patrick Kane rape investigation, because we’re at that point. Some will see the crumbling of an extortion of a famous hockey player. Some will see an accuser bullied into silence by an uncaring police or the frothing masses protective of a hockey player they’ll never meet. Never the twain shall meet, which I suppose it part of the problem. At least there’s time there’s not a Shecky Greene of a Tallahassee prosecutor cracking jokes after saving the Noles’ QB’s ass.

    As most logical minded have said, no matter where they side, we’ll never know what happened that night for sure. For some, that cloud of uncertainty provides enough shelter to go on about fandom in the normal way. “Hey, I don’t know for sure, so why should I have to give up this thing I love?” I don’t know that that’s evil or wrong, we’re all trying to figure this out and lord knows it’s hard enough to find things in this world that make you happy. Some will have that cloud of uncertainty still cause an ill feeling in the stomach when watching the Hawks and/or Kane, which is still where I am. “How can I commit fully when I don’t know for sure?”

    Obviously, I know there are plenty feeling like they won something today and gloating, as if this was just another contest for Kane and the Hawks to take on and conquer. That’s not what these things are, but it’s how they are treated.

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  • Morning Links 11.03.2015

    Morning Links 11.03.2015

    Every penny counts:Chicago Tribune

    Along with most Score callers:NHL

    Chances:CSN

    Hopefully Minor:NBC

    Good GMs do that:LA Times

  • An Empty Bottle of Gin: Blackhawks 4, Kings 2

    An Empty Bottle of Gin: Blackhawks 4, Kings 2

    Box Score

    Event Summary

    War on Ice

    Natural Stat Trick

    You’ll never believe it but the Hawks are usually pretty successful when their best players mark the score sheet. Facing a 2-1 deficit heading into the third, Patrick Kane, Jonthan Toews, Artem Anisimov and Teuvo Teravainen all factored in goals and the Hawks outscored the Kings 3-0 in the final frame.

    What made it more impressive was how well the Kings were playing up until that point. The second period, in particular, was a clinic in disciplined defensive hockey. The Kings were outnumbering the Hawks any time the Hawks entered the offensive zone. This led to a style of play that was hardly appeasing to the eyes.

    If playing that type of defensive game was easy, though, everyone would be doing it. All it took was Kane’s goal early in the third to change the complexion of the Kings structure and then it seemed like the Hawks were getting an odd man rush every shift.

    Kane and Teuvo and Toews and Ansimov later, that was that.

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  • Race To The Bottom – Kings vs Hawks Preview, Returned Goods Authorization

    king vs evil empire

    Game Time: 7:30PM Central
    TV/Radio: CSN, NHL Network, SportsNet Affiliates, WGN-AM 720
    Dean’s List: The Royal Half, Jewels From The Crown

    The Kings and Blackhawks have one of the modern NHL’s true great rivalries, with the two teams alternating Stanley Cup titles over the last four years. But their competitiveness with one another extends to off the ice issues.

    While last year’s Hawks team was clouded by rumors and innuendo of off-ice misdoings, the Kings came right out in the open with it by having both the now departed Jarret Stoll and Mike Richards arrested separately for drug possession. And that’s on top of Slava Voynov being essentially convicted and deported for beating the shit out of his wife. However, in a seemingly unending game of one-upsmanship, the Hawks’ highest profile player made himself the subject of a sexual assault investigation, something the Kings were familiar with three years ago with Drew Doughty. But where the case against Doughty was largely forgotten and evaporated through strongarming the victim, Kane was removed from a video game cover and is still under investigation.

    It wasn’t just limited to the players, either. After Dean Lombardi allowed Slava Voynov to skate with the team while suspended because he felt like he needed it, John McDonough basically undid a career of evil public relations genius with a single ass-showing press conference at the haven of progressive sexual politics and scandal-free placidity that is Notre Dame. But these are competitive men who have helmed these teams to near dynastic levels of on ice success, and Dean Lombardi was not going to go quietly into the night. Upon reaching an even more dubious settlement after his evil outright termination of Mike Richards’ contract, Lombardi literally shed tears over how he was duped and how wronged he felt by Mike Richards’ addictive spiral with pain killers, as if the bullshit tough guy culture of the sport didn’t basically strong arm him into using them to keep himself on the ice. Lombardi did not feel wronged or duped by Slava Voynov’s violence towards women however, and still holds’ Voynov’s rights should he ever be allowed in the US again, at the very least preventing him from playing for another team.

    Even the fans get into the act as well. Whereas Kings fans initially just spouted typical victim-blaming vomit (serious trigger warning), or in the case of most fan-run outlets just forget in the face of Stanley Cups and Norris finalist campaigns about Drew Doughty’s misdoings, Hawks fans took things to another level. Staging rallies, organizing Twitter hashtags, threatening sports radio anchors to the point of calling out of work, or demanding apologies (that are never, ever, EVER fucking coming), they’ve taken the empty-souled fanboy routine to dizzying new heights.

    And now with the first meeting of these two teams happening tonight at the United Center, everyone on both sides is surely breathless with anticipation with what the next step in this rivalry will be.

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  • High On The Hog: IceHogs Go Streakin’

    High On The Hog: IceHogs Go Streakin’

    The Rockford IceHogs, Chicago’s AHL affiliate, skate into November on a pretty high note. The IceHogs are on a six-game point streak that has seen them win five of six against Central Division opponents.

    Despite several Hogs getting the call to join the Blackhawks last week, Rockford kept on rolling behind terrific play in net. IceHogs goalies surrendered a single goal in three games this week. This included a shootout loss to Charlotte and two shutout victories over the Iowa Wild.

    Special teams also took steps toward respectability, though the power play still has a ways to go in that regard.

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  • Morning Links 11/2/15

    Morning Links 11/2/15

    Tonight: Blackhawks

    We all saw this coming, don’t be an idiot in the comments: PHT

    The Central Division is good: CSN

    Depth tested: CST

    Challenging issue: PD

  • Three Steps Forward And Two Steps Back: Hawks 4 – Wild 5

    Three Steps Forward And Two Steps Back: Hawks 4 – Wild 5

    Box Score

    Event Summary

    War On Ice

    Natural Stat Trick

    Remember when Paula Abdul was like the center of all your middle school fantasies, which basically amounted to holding a girl’s hand? Ah, the innocence…

    Oh right, hockey. It would appear the Hawks are going to try things in reverse this season, if I’m going to make wild conclusions after 11 games because we’ve got nothing else to do. Usually their sloppy, barely bothered effort on the 2nd of a back-to-back on the road comes in February or March. While the Wild did enough to let the Hawks back into this one, the Hawks did more to cost themselves the contest.

    It’s rare you see the Hawks so sloppy at both blue lines tonight. So many shifts saw them failing to get the puck out when given the chance and having to cycle back and defend. How many times did they nearly get caught on a change because of misplays at the offensive blue line? Four, five? Maybe more? They just aren’t the most cohesive of units right now.

    Zucker’s opener was a result of misplays from a couple Hawks on the boards. Ryan Carter scored off a rush when Kane didn’t quite know what to do when covering for TVR at the point and got caught. The last two goals sprang from Hawks d-men getting caught too far outside, leaving a lane through the middle that either ended in a goal (Spurgeon) or a scramble that did (Niederreiter). It will not make for a happy Q.

    To it.

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  • You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having – Hawks at Wild Preview, Mail Merge

    evil empire at wildthings

    Game Time: 7:00PM Central
    TV/Radio: CSN, WGN-AM 720
    Commit This To Memory: Hockey Wilderness

    Before beginning the preview in earnest, first a public service announcement for Halloween weekend.

    Under no circumstance is going out in black face acceptable. Yes, it’s 2015 and it’s fucking preposterous that these statements have to be made, but such is the state of affairs. And it’s a particularly gross trend among hockey players. It is your responsibility as a human being to tell anyone even thinking of doing this that it’s a bad, at best colossally ignorant idea. Do not be like these assholes.

    hawksblackface

    raffi torres

    tyler bozak

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  • Morning Links 10.30.2015

    Morning Links 10.30.2015

    Is that possible? Blackhawk Up

    I assume the roster would be loaded with grit and vets:SunTimes

    Well Chicago is a hard working city:CSN

    Bling Contest:WAPO

    This is absolutely shocking:TSN

  • Slide Over Here: Jets 3, Blackhawks 1

    Slide Over Here: Jets 3, Blackhawks 1

    Box Score

    Event Summary

    War on Ice

    Natural Stat Trick

    Where were we? Oh yes, the part of the season where the Hawks go through a prolonged scoring slump and people start to get a little itchier than normal. It’s a tradition unlike any other. The main difference is this one is happening right at the beginning of the season so there’s no immediate baseline to judge this one off of.

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