Everything Else

I know, it isn’t like me to try and find the positives in anything. It’s not what you’re used to after 10 years of being here, if you’ve been here that long (and God help you if you have). But we haven’t been in this position before, so it’s healthy to try and figure out why we’re going to even bother next year (and some of you won’t, and in some ways I envy you).

The Hawks are going to have some decisions to make this summer, which should make for a really interesting one. But before they make those choices, they have to figure out what they have here first. So at the forwards, the Hawks have to decide what Jonathan Toews is and will be. The general consensus is that he’s done as a #1 center, given his scoring problems the past couple years. I’m not so sure about that, given what the underlying numbers say.

But let’s just give into that for the sake of this. Say Jonathan Toews is a #2 center now. That means the Hawks have to find another #1 center, because you can’t really win without one. None of the recent Cup winners have gone without an ace, and it’s hard to even identify teams that got to a Final. Last year’s Preds, because Johansen was hurt, but he got them most of the way there when he played like one. The Rangers of ’14? The Devils of ’12? And really, that’s about it.

The Hawks don’t have one in the system, a product of drafting 25 or above for so long. The only hope is one Nick Schmaltz, who has had a better year mostly playing center than I thought he would. He’s going to finish with 50-60 points at just 21, and at center which isn’t easy to learn. But what’s the precedent for centers who do that? Luckily, thanks to HockeyReference.com, we can find out.

So here’s the list of centers who had 50-60 points in their age 21 season the past 12 seasons: Ryan Strome, Adam Henrique, Derek Stepan, Bo Horvat, Sasha Barkov, Nathan MacKinnon, Jack Eichel, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Brayden Point, Alex Galchenyuk, Ryan Getzlaf, Logan Couture, Pierre-Marc Bouchard.

For the most part, that’s an encouraging list. There are some names that give you pause of course. Ryan Strome is one, though he’s been on a wing for years now. Bouchard never did much after concussion problems. But other than that, the minimum here is a very solid #2 center.

Does that mean Schmaltz could be the #1 one day? Hard to say. Couture has never had to do it but easily could have. Getzlaf is but that wasn’t his rookie year. Same goes for Eichel and MacKinnon. So that might not be the road for Nick At Nite.

We can safely say that Schmaltz can be a #2 center on a good team. But that doesn’t solve your #1 center problem. Can the Hawks live again with like, three #2 centers? It’s hard to think of anyone who has done it. That’s the most likely trajectory for Schmaltz.

It’s funny, for so long the problem the Hawks had was no #2 center behind Toews when Sharp decided he didn’t want to play center anymore. And now it appears they might have too many.

Everything Else

When the Rockford IceHogs contemplate their annual team awards in a few weeks, they can skip right by the most-improved player award. If Collin Delia hasn’t earned that honor from the team at this point, I’m not sure they’re qualified to give out awards.

The rookie goalie, signed to an entry contract by the Blackhawks back in July, has seen his fortunes undergo quite the transformation. For the first three months of this season, it couldn’t have gone worse for the former Merrimack standout.

These past couple of months, things couldn’t be better.

The 23-year-old Delia was flat out terrible for the Indy Fuel to start the 2017-18 campaign. I will admit that I didn’t have good vibes about his chances when he presence was required in Rockford following some injuries across the organization.

Why would I; Delia was 1-7-2 for the Fuel with a 4.12 GAA and a .887 save percentage. He looked like a baby deer in net in his first AHL in Iowa November 9. Oh, and he also hadn’t played at either the AHL or ECHL level in over a month when he got a second start against the Wild December 28.

A funny thing happened, though. Delia won that second start. After a few games, Delia started to settle in. The last few weeks, he’s been pretty solid in the IceHogs net, going 8-2-2 in the 12 games leading up to this week’s schedule.

This past week, he was flat-out brilliant.

Wednesday night, Delia stopped 38 shots, propelling Rockford to a 2-1 win over Texas. Saturday night, Delia shut out the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins, stopping 34 shots in a 3-0 Hogs victory (UPDATE-Delia was named the CCM/AHL Player Of The Week Monday). If Rockford is to get on a roll late in this season, it might just be with the California Kid manning the pipes.

Jeff Glass hasn’t been bad since being returned to Rockford last week. On the other hand, Delia has denied 72 of the last 73 shots taken at him and has won his last four starts. Makes sense to ride the hot hand for a while.

It has been fun watching Delia find his groove over the last couple of months. On a team full of young prospects, he’s come the furthest from the humble beginnings to his pro career this past fall. If Delia’s not the most-improved IceHogs player this season, someone upstairs isn’t watching.

 

Press Impresses

Defenseman Robin Press, who is on an AHL contract with the IceHogs, has spent most of this season in the ECHL with Indy. On Friday, he was named the CCM/ECHL Player Of The Month for his play in February.

Press put up 16 points (5G, 11A) in 14 games and had a plus-seven rating during that time. For the season, he has nine goals and 24 apples in 38 games played. Press is the first defenseman to nab this monthly honor in the ECHL since 2003.

The 23-year-old converted forward has had limited appearances in Rockford over the last three seasons. He was scoreless in seven games for the IceHogs this season. In fact, Press has yet to register a point in 18 AHL contests.

Press is 6’3” and 210 pounds but hasn’t shown a real physical game in the time he has spent in Rockford. His defensive positioning has been an issue when I’ve seen him play at the AHL level. The Blackhawks have been intrigued about his potential, though not enough to get his name on an entry contract. However, his play in Indy suggests that Press might be worth consideration for a steady role in Rockford.

 

What’s That On My Screen?

As I am wont to do on a Wednesday night, I was in my basement taking in Rockford’s game with Texas. I called up the game on AHL Live a little late and tried to get into the swing of the game.

“Well, it’s not too bad,” I thought as I saw the score. “No score through the first half of the period.”

The key revelation in that anecdote is that I saw the score. For the first time in forever, the IceHogs had the score, time remaining and the period in the corner of the game broadcast. Rockford had finally provided this vital information for the interested viewer. Huzzah!

Of course, the scoreboard at (kind of) center ice at the BMO is currently on the fritz and doesn’t have that information, but I was in my basement, so who cares?

 

New Looks To The Roster

In last week’s post, I pointed out that Chicago could make a few paper moves to ensure that some of the current Blackhawks could take part in possible playoff action for the Hogs. That came to fruition, with the Blackhawks sending J.F. Berube, Carl Dahlstrom and David Kampf to Rockford until the trade deadline, when all three were duly recalled.

Also earning a call-up was Matthew Highmore, meaning that by NHL rules, the Hawks can only recall one more player this season, barring injury. That likely means that veteran players like Cody Franson, Adam Clendening and Chris DiDomenico will be spending the duration of the campaign in Rockford.

Lance Bouma was assigned to the IceHogs after clearing waivers; he skated in all three games this week and had a pair of helpers in Saturday’s win.

Clendening, by the way, has found his scoring touch in Rockford. In 21 games with AHL Tuscon, he had a goal and four assists. In 21 games with the IceHogs, he has two goals and 16 helpers.

 

Recaps

The IceHogs were a few minutes shy of grabbing points in all three games this week. However, they did win two of those contests. No lines again this week; I solemnly vow that I will have lines for next weekend’s action.

Wednesday, February 28-Rockford 2, Texas 1

Rockford won its second game in a row behind a 38-save performance by Collin Delia, besting the Stars in front of a healthy weeknight crowd at the BMO Harris Bank Center.

The Hogs power play got things started 14:46 into the opening period on what has become a potent strategy. Chris DiDomenico threaded a cross-ice pass to Cody Franson, who was waiting at the left dot. His one-timer got through the open back door of Texas goalie Mike McKenna for a 1-0 Rockford advantage.

The lead doubled early in the second period. The IceHogs wove their way into the Stars zone with some crisp passing. DiDomenico wound up with the puck near the left dot and dropped a backhand pass to Luc Snuggerud in the high slot. He didn’t get all of the biscuit on his one-timer, but the change-up got the best of McKenna and Rockford led 2-0 at the 4:20 mark.

The Stars got back to within a goal in the 13th minute on a Greg Rallo goal after Delia gave up a rebound in front of the crease. However, that was the only rubber the rookie would allow past him on this night. The Hogs couldn’t come up with any insurance; thanks to Delia, they didn’t need it.

 

Friday, March 2-Milwaukee 4, Rockford 1

With points on the table, the IceHogs let the game slip away in the closing minutes. Rockford dropped a key game to a division opponent despite allowing just 12 Admirals shots on goal.

The penalty kill gave up an early goal, with Alexandre Carrier holding in a clearing attempt and finding Emil Petterssen at the right dot. The resulting wrister beat Hogs goalie Jeff Glass to the near side, giving Milwaukee a 1-0 lead just 1:29 into the contest.

Rockford got back to even ground with a power play strike of its own 4:44 into the second period. Cody Franson collected a rebound of a Tyler Sikura shot and flung it past Ads goalie Anders Lindback to knot the game at a goal apiece.

That’s the way the score remained until late in the final frame. The Hogs had limited Milwaukee to just seven shots in the first 40 minutes of action and had several scoring opportunities wind up in Lindback’s glove.

With just over five minutes remaining in regulation, Anthony Louis juggled a clearing attempt from Franson on the neutral side of the Hogs blueline. Not surprisingly, it wound up in the back of Rockford’s net. Frederic Allard did the honors, finishing the 2-on-1 created by the turnover.

Two minutes later, Petterssen’s shot from the slot was blocked by Luc Snuggerud and hopped into the end boards. Mark Zengerle chased it down before hitting a wide open Petterssen in front of the Hogs net. Glass couldn’t make the stop and Milwaukee now led 3-1 at 17:05 of the third.

Former IceHogs forward Mark McNeill put a lid on the proceedings with an empty-net goal with 1:31 left. Rockford had out shot the Admirals 25-12 but came out of this game with nothing but a bus ride back to Illinois.

 

Saturday, March 3-Rockford 3, Wilkes-Barre/Scranton 0

Another impressive Delia effort in net provided the backbone of the IceHogs victory. The rookie from Rancho Cucamonga, California recorded his first professional shutout in front of a sell-out audience at the BMO.

All the scoring Delia would need on this night came on a pretty bit of puck movement by Rockford midway through the first period. Chris DiDomenico got the action started from behind his net, backhanding a clearing pass to Lance Bouma along the left half boards.

Bouma skated up the left side, crossed into Penguins territory and sent a pass all the way across the zone to Luc Snuggerud. Snuggerud backhanded a centering pass to Anthony Louis, who was skating hard to the front of the net. Louis redirected the pass past goalie Etienne Marcoux to finish off a nifty lamp-lighter.

The score remained 1-0 Rockford until the puck drop to start the third period. Tyler Sikura won the draw, Bouma sent it back to Cody Franson and Franson hit Andreas Martinsen as he was about to enter the offensive zone. Martinsen took care of the rest.

Maneuvering past two Wilkes-Barre/Scranton defenders, Martinsen battled his way toward the right post. With defenseman Kevin Czuczman draped all over him and with only his right hand on his stick, the big Norwegian somehow flipped the puck past Marcoux into the promised land.

At ten seconds, it was the fastest IceHogs goal to begin a period in the AHL history of the franchise. It put Rockford up 2-0 and in the driver’s seat for the rest of the way. Martinsen closed out the scoring with an empty-netter with 1:01 left.

Delia handled all 34 Penguins shots, including anchoring the Hogs penalty kill in six Wilkes-Barre/Scranton attempts. He was named the game’s first star, followed by Martinsen and Louis.

 

This Week

The IceHogs enter the most crucial portion of their schedule, starting Saturday night in Milwaukee. Rockford’s next ten games are against Central Division teams currently ahead of them in the standings.

Following Saturday’s tilt with the Admirals, the Hogs visit Chicago on Sunday. With chances to climb the division ladder enough to secure a playoff spot dwindling, Rockford has to consider each match-up a must-win.

Follow me @JonFromi on twitter for my thoughts on the IceHogs all season long.

 

 

 

 

Everything Else

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

As is their way, the Hawks ricocheted from being interesting yesterday to incompetent today, managing to dig themselves into a hole from which light could not escape, much less their shitty offensive capabilities. To the bullets:

–Putrid defense put the Hawks down early. In the first Keith got beat on Rakell’s goal, and Jordan Oesterle went full-on Jordan Oesterle and just watched mesmerized as Corey Perry spin-o-rama’d around him for the second goal. On both Pettersson’s and Silfverberg’s goals in the second, I wished Forsberg would have had them, but he was being screened on the former and generally hung out to dry on both. Of course, Forsberg took the heat for all this and got pulled for Berube mid-way through the second. I can’t fault Q for that decision, but at the same time I can’t fault Forsberg for all those goals (winner: most well-worn line this season).

–The Hawks actually did show some life after the goalie switch. They ended the second with a 61.2 CF% and were beating the Ducks in shots thanks to sustained pressure late in the period. Tomas Jurco made himself useful with a couple shots and a redirect of Connor Murphy’s shot for their first goal. So it was nice that the Hawks felt nervous enough to actually try skating after Forsberg got pulled, but we should note that it didn’t come after another eventful moment in the second…

–…And that moment was the Toews-Kesler fight. Now, admittedly I was genuinely laughing out loud as this took place. Normally during theses GRIT HEART FART demonstrations I roll my eyes and complain, but the lack of physicality and the total uselessness of this “battle” was truly hilarious. It did absolutely nothing in terms of FIRING UP the Hawks—in fact they gave up two more goals while Toews was in the box, basically putting the game out of reach before it even got to halfway through the second. Amusing as it was, this fight encapsulated why fighting is dumb and pointless: it doesn’t make guys play better and it lands someone in the box for five minutes. Well done.

–Schmaltz’s first goal in the third was a good case study in persistence. It was also kind of a softie for Gibson, but whatever, I’m going to take what I can get. I’m hoping that as this LONG offseason proceeds, he works on his strength so that he can out-muscle backcheckers just like that all the time. Also, the play of that line (Top Cat-Schmaltz-Hinostroza) on the third goal was lovely, and gives me hope for the future after said offseason.

Whatta weekend, right? It’s been quite a time in California, but now the Hawks are coming home so they can fuck up at the UC for the next week. Now that we know what this season is, and we know what will not be happening come April and May, we can just innocently wonder what each game will bring, because as this road trip showed, you really never know with these assholes. Onward and upward.

Beer de jour (accurate for once as this game was de jour not de nuit): Furious by Surly Brewing (because no two adjectives could describe me better)

 

Everything Else

 vs. 

RECORDS: Hawks 28-29-8   Ducks 32-21-12

PUCK DROP: 3:00 PM

TV: NBCSN Chicago

UNDERGROUND DISNEYLAND OVERLORDS: Anaheim Calling

After showing an actual pulse yesterday in the third period, after a comeback we hadn’t seen in a very long while, and after an actually stirring win (though signifying nothing), the Hawks reward is to huff it down the I-5 to Orange County. Almost doesn’t seem fair. Anaheim isn’t a reward for anything.

What the Hawks will find when they get there is much like yesterday, a team clutching the last playoff spot with one or two cla…feet? Beaks? Whatever, carry your own metaphor here. The Ducks are in the last wild card spot, one point ahead of both the Avs and Blues and three ahead of the Flames. They’re four behind the Kings for the right to have another Battle of California in the first round.

It’s been up and down since you last saw Anaheim take a tight one over the Hawks here at the UC 20 days ago. They won the next three in Dallas, Vegas and Minnesota, but then found a way to only find a point in back-to-back games against the Coyotes and Oilers. They bounced back on Thursday with a win over the similarly flailing Blue Jackets.

Not much has changed with the Ducks in that time, roster-wise. GM Bob Murray didn’t think this team was worth investing too heavily into at the deadline, and with good cause. The problems they have–i.e. Cory Perry died, Ryan Getzlaf stopped caring about three seasons ago, and Ryan Kesler is now made of gum and duct tape–aren’t going to be solved by any trade. The Ducks can’t score much thanks to Perry dragging down the top line and Kesler the second, and Adam Henrique on the third can only do so much. But they don’t give up much either, thanks to the sterling form of John Gibson and Randy “Concussions Happen Because The Brain Gets Hot While Wearing A Helmet” Carlyle’s system not really allowing for any adventure on either side. They do that while still playing Kevin Bieksa, which is a hell of an accomplishment.

That’ll make for a real decision for Murray this summer, as Gibson will be heading into the last year of his deal. Thankfully for Murray it’ll only be an RFA problem but we know what starting goaltenders go for. Another big year from Gibson and he could ask for a lot from a team committed to paying their three cadavers at forward $23.4 million from here until The Reckoning.

While the Ducks will be flapping furiously until the end of the season (see what I did there?) to make the playoffs, that’s basically only window dressing for them. This team is most likely first-round cannon fodder for anyone they see, unless Gibson simply goes nuts. They don’t have the front-line scoring as Perry and Getzlaf are just too easily taken out of games now (as they always were in any game that mattered when they could move). Hampus! Hampus! is having a Norris quality season but Carlyle is insisting on playing him with Bieksa now, so what’s that shutting down? Cam Fowler and Brandon Montour aren’t doing that either. Stranger things have happened of course, but don’t bet on it. And once they’re out, this Ducks window is almost certainly closed.

Shouldn’t see too many changes from the Hawks, other than in net where JF Berube will hopefully not have Erik Gustafsson trying to kill him emotionally and physically as he did in San Jose. Q could get cute we guess and start Forsberg again, trying to ride the wave of yesterday. Whatever at this point. More of The Nuclear Option and see just what Carlyle wants to combat that with.

We know most of you are rooting for losses and better drafting position. We don’t blame you. But given how much we hate Anaheim and that they still have something to play for, seeing the Hawks try and build something off of yesterday and making life harder for the Ducks has major appeal. This one won’t be pretty given how the Ducks normally play, their stakes in this one, and the Hawks having played yesterday. But as is always the case in Orange County, just get through it and get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

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Age is a funny thing in professional sports. Now that I’m on the wrong side of 35, I am downright flabbergasted when I see an athlete about my age, or, god forbid, even older. While I spend every day reminding myself that I’m not THAT old, and I make an art form out of raging against the dying of the light, when I see a pro athlete who is no longer a twentysomething, I almost instinctively regard them as a washed-up shell to be treated with suspicion and/or pity, and only in rare cases with respect or admiration for past accomplishments and the ability to overcome the inevitable ravages of time.

The Ducks are a team managing to have both ends of that spectrum, and as fans of a team with an aging core already showing signs of decline, Hawks fans should take note. Who are the washed-up shells? Trade-deadline-acquisition Chris Kelly would have to be at the top of that list. I mean, really, what in the fuck was that all about? Did Bob Murray really think his Olympics performance would make up for being out of the league all season? I know Kelly scored the winning goal in the bronze medal game but it was against a bunch of literal nobodies from the Czech Republic (seriously, Martin Erat was on their team).

The Senators walked away from Kelly before the season started and no one, not even the Oilers, were willing to take this guy for their bottom six. But sure, there can’t be anyone in the Ducks’ AHL affiliate, or at a men’s league somewhere in Irvine for fuck’s sake, who could be had cheaply for the playoff push.

Next would have to be Jason Chimera, who has gone through the looking glass to become the literal embodiment of his name, i.e., a thing that is hoped for that is impossible to make a reality. Chimera’s possession numbers have never been good, and he’s managed a meager two goals all season. He scored 20 goals in his last two seasons with the Islanders and the Capitals, which is the truly shocking thing here. His evaporation back into nothingness is not the surprise—it’s that any team trying to squeeze into the playoffs would waste any energy on him.

Ryan Kesler’s injury isn’t something to be pinned on Murray or the rest of the Ducks organ-I-zation, but it’s emblematic of what comes with an aging team. And Kesler is an example of a guy (33 years old) who isn’t actually a senior citizen in sports terms or otherwise but now seems as good as one with his busted-up hip, that scourge of grandparents everywhere.

On the other side of this nursing home bingo game are guys like Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry. Despite having his face pulverized earlier this season, Getzlaf is second in points on the team (although not especially prolific goal-wise). He’s been streaky, but his shooting percentage is a healthy 9.5, his possession numbers are solid (53.1 CF% and a 5.1 CF Rel), and did I mention he’s second in points even though he was out for about six weeks?

Granted, that stat says more about the rest of the Ducks and their scoring malaise than it does about Getzlaf, but you can’t deny he’s making himself useful. Corey Perry is doing the same and is right behind Getzlaf in points, but that is literally the only mildly positive thing I can say about this asshat, so let’s just leave it at that.

The Ducks aren’t the oldest team in the league (haha Red Wings); in fact, they’re the seventh-oldest. But given the uneven nature of older players’ performance and health—not to mention their asinine roster moves making it worse—they’ll need to finally accept that where physical skill is concerned, maturity and experience will not always beat youth and enthusiasm.

 

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A scheduling quirk sees the Hawks play three straight teams that they just played, so here’s the Q&A we did with @MsJenNeale just two weeks ago. 

The Ducks have had their injury problems, but are kind of floating in the netherworld below the playoffs and all the metrics suggest that’s about right. Is this where this team should be?

Yes, I would say so. John Gibson is epically average – as I’ve insisted for years. Randy Carlyle is who we thought he was, Mr. Dump ‘n Chase. Kesler is playing at 60% after offseason hip surgery. The Ducks are lucky the rest of the Pacific (sans Vegas) is a dumpster fire or they’d be worse off.

 

Rickard Rakell is having another big season, though accumulating a fair amount on the power play. Is he or will he be a premier even-strength scorer?

The kid is magical. It depends on if he can stay healthy and who he plays with. Keep him with Getzlaf and he probably starts getting more even strength goals. Lord knows Getzlaf won’t shoot and Perry couldn’t put a beach ball in the net.

Corey Perry has 12 goals so far after 19 last year. Is he D-O-N-E?
 He certainly appears to have stopped stealing souls or drinking the blood of sacrificed animals in order to gain his talent. He’s still doing Corey Perry things on the ice, but the scoring isn’t there. I don’t think he’s done-done, but he’s not scoring 25 goals anymore. Dude doesn’t even play in OT because he’s too slow. When Getzlaf is out-skating you, you got a problem. 
On the flip side, we’ve been trying to make a Norris case for Hampus Lindholm even if he doesn’t have the points. That good?
So, so good. He embodies what the Norris Trophy should be rewarded for. The sad part is he plays out West and won’t score a ton of points so he won’t get the attention he deserves. His shot is getting better so maybe one day he’ll get a Norris (for points).
Where is this Ducks team headed in the next couple years?
 Hear that creaking sound? That’s the window closing. Getzlaf, Perry and Kesler are signed until the end of time, and they’re clearly on the downside of their careers. Around them are a lot of young, but good parts. If Patrick Eaves never plays again, I’d hope the Ducks could keep Adam Henrique with that money. He’s been a revelation.
 I’m mostly concerned with what Bob Murray does when Gibson’s contract is up after next season. He’ll be an RFA and Murray looooooves him. I don’t want the Ducks money tied up in an average goalie for a long time. They’ve already done they with three forwards. It’s only going to make future success by the team damn near impossible. (I still miss Freddie Anderson.)

 

 

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Even on a team chock-full of potential douchebags, from Ryan Kesler to Corey Perry and more, it’s hard not to go back to Kevin Bieksa. You already know about his mouthiness—both literally and idiomatically—and his semi-celebrated “Superman Punch” on Radko Gudas earlier in the year, which is par for the course for a league that wants you so desperately to think it’s conscious and aware of the problems that come with concussions without actually having to do anything to eliminate one of the most common causes of concussions. But would you believe that Bieksa is an even bigger douchebag when he’s doing the thing he’s supposedly paid to do?

It’s no huge secret that Bieksa hasn’t been good in about seven years, but since joining Anaheim he’s somehow managed to outdo even his own expected shittiness. First, for this year, he’s scored exactly six points, all assists, and half of them have been secondary assists. Second, he makes just about everyone he plays with worse in terms of possession. Here are the differentials for the guys he’s played most with this year, with and without him.

TOI WITH CF% WITH CF% WITHOUT DIFFERENTIAL
Cam Fowler 471:07 48.39 48 0.81%
Rickard Rakell 246:10 48.88 50.87 -3.91%
Andrew Cogliano 198:43 42.54 50.91 -16.44%
Corey Perry 195:48 47.34 47.93 -1.23%

 

What a surprise that a guy whose pedigree relies on having more penalty minutes than shots on goal would be able to make so many other players so much worse. Couple that with his glistening -5.4 CF% Rel, and you’ve got a guy who doesn’t do dick in terms of the things that usually matter on the ice. But hey, he’s got 81 PIM and 104 hits on the year, which is totally useful for a team that’s scratching and clawing to keep itself in the playoff hunt.

Bieksa is the kind of player that keeps the rabble both at bay and braying for blood. All he’s good for anymore is picking fights and throwing dangerous punches at other large oafs, and every moment he’s on the ice is a gigantic waste of everyone’s time. Fortunately, it looks like the sun is beginning to set on his Stonehenge-sized jaw, as his playing time has mercifully begun to decrease in favor of the younger, somehow homelier Marcus Pettersson.

If he gets a chance to suit up against the Hawks—and Christ willing he won’t—you can expect him to grunt, grind, and jaw against guys much smaller and more skillful than he, so Alex DeBrincat will likely need to keep his positional awareness extra sharp to avoid any undue meetings with him. This is his last year of his hilarious two-year $4 million-per deal, so with any luck, this will be the last time his oversized yap has the misfortune of gracing our screens as a hockey player.

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