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High On The Hog: An Eye On The D

By Jon Fromi 2123 0

The Rockford IceHogs were deep on the defensive side in 2018-19. It was in this area where the club had an abundance of experience to start the season. It only got better in the spring as some key pickups further strengthened Rockford on the way to a long playoff run.

Back with a look at the back end of the roster, here are my thoughts on the defense.

The Sparkplugs

Cody Franson (37 games, 9 G, 19 A, plus-nine)

Adam Clendening (38 games, 4 G, 26 A, plus-two)

The addition of these two veteran blueliners completely changed the course of the IceHogs fortunes. The power play went from being a laughing stock to the most dangerous in the AHL.

Franson performed like you would expect a NHL-level talent to upon arriving in Rockford. The 30-year-old Franson immediately became a locker room sage and offensive catalyst, with six power play goals in the regular season, then four more in the playoffs. A point a game player in the postseason (6 G, 7 A), Franson totaled 15 goals and 41 points in 50 games in an IceHogs sweater.

Clendening, who was returning to Rockford after stints in several other organizations, saw his scoring touch return in a big way. After five points in 21 games for Tuscon to begin the season, Clendening went on a tear and wound up leading all Hogs defensemen in scoring despite joining Rockford well into the season.

So far as a return engagement from this exciting duo…

Franson was quite open about his future (or non-future to be more accurate) in the organization past this season. His steamrolling through the AHL might open a few doors as an unrestricted free agent this summer.

On the other hand, Clendening is an RFA and could be re-signed at low cost to the Blackhawks. The question is, will Chicago tender an offer to a player who couldn’t secure an NHL spot in the organization in his first go-round? Clendening would be a nice piece to start building next fall’s Hogs roster; we’ll see what transpires in the next couple weeks.

 

The Big Guy

Viktor Svedberg (73 games, 6 G, 18 A, plus-18)

The 6-9 Swede began his time in the organization as a project; Svedberg is now a UFA following his fifth season, most of which was spent with the IceHogs.

I’ll come right out and say it. Svedberg brought an awful lot to the table in 2017-18. Here’s why:

This was easily his best season from an offensive standpoint. He also potted a couple of big shootout goals when called upon.

Svedberg began the season healthy and stayed that way, playing a career-high 73 games. For a guy who had trouble staying on the ice in past years, it was satisfying to see him showcase his game.

Svedberg still gets a bad rap from some Rockford fans for his defensive liabilities, which were on full display for most of his first three seasons. That’s too bad, because he was arguably the IceHogs best defender this year.

I could count on one hand the number of times that Svedberg was caught out of position in his own zone, leading to an open shot attempt. He is never going to be a player who can use his skating ability to get him out of trouble. However, he has learned to take advantage of his reach and positioning to be effective.

Svedberg was often an alternate captain (coach Jeremy Colliton never named a captain this season) and was one of the few skaters (before DiDomenico and Lance Bouma showed up) willing to stick his nose into a scrum. When Franson arrived, Svedberg completed a very solid (and physically imposing) top pairing.

Svedberg has come a long way in five years and certainly could provide some organizational depth and leadership in Rockford. It will be interesting to see what offers he fields in free agency.

 

The All-Star

Carl Dahlstrom (64 games, 3 G, 28 A, plus-14)

Dahlstrom was a substitute for Erik Gustafsson in the AHL’s All-Star Classic and took his game up a notch in his second full season in Rockford.

Dahlstrom was a steady defender and took a bigger role at the other end of the ice in 2017-18. He looked a lot more confident bringing the puck out of his zone this season and earned a stint in Chicago late in the spring. It seems likely that he is in line to earn a spot on the Hawks roster in training camp the way things look right now.

Franson and Clendening altered the pecking order among the defensemen; Dahlstrom definitely had a reduced role on the power play. His shot attempts at even strength took a hit as well, with a drop in frequency of about 23 percent after he came back from Chicago in March.

Dahlstrom last drew cord for the Hogs on January 13. In his last 26 regular season games with the Hogs, he managed just nine assists. Dahlstrom rebounded in the playoffs with three goals and six helpers.

 

The Passed Over

Gustav Forsling (18 games, 2 G, 3 A, minus-four)

The other player most affected by Franson and Clendening’s presence was Forsling. When he was sent to Rockford in January, he scored in his season debut with the Hogs, then went dormant offensively. Once the vets joined the team the next month, there wasn’t much of an offensive role for the 21-year-old.

Forsling got some time quarterbacking the second power play unit. He had one assist on the man advantage in the regular season and another one in the playoffs. He was a bit more noticeable in the postseason, with a goal and five helpers. However, most of his time was spent on the bottom pairing.

Forsling did not distinguish himself on the scoreboard in his time in Rockford. At the same time, he didn’t defend very well either, at least in my opinion. Had Forsling had a more prominent spot in the lineup, he might have picked up his play in the latter part of the season. That didn’t happen.

 

The Prospects

Darren Raddysh (66 games, 5 G, 17 A, plus-ten)

Luc Snuggerud (40 games, 5 G, 12 A, minus-three)

Robin Norell (63 games, 2 G, 5 A, plus-two)

Raddysh had the biggest impact of these three players, earning himself an NHL entry deal from Chicago last month. He found himself in the lineup over several players with NHL contracts this past season, something that also held true nine times in the playoffs.

Snuggerud’s rookie season was interrupted for two months after suffering an upper body injury December 8. He had a pair of goals and eight assists after returning in February, but did not suit up in the postseason.

Norell’s campaign began with a savage beat-down at the hands of Brett Gallant in Cleveland opening night. It ended in the press box in the postseason.

After a four-game point streak in December, Norell went 43 games without a goal or an assist until getting a goal in the regular season finale in Chicago. This, despite playing as a forward for much of that time with line mates who regularly found the net.

His defensive play at forward was often praised by Colliton, though apparently not enough to get him on the ice at any position in the playoffs.

Norell skates hard, but isn’t a real physical player and isn’t gifted with a great shot. It may be hard for him to find time on the blueline this fall.

 

The Other Guys

Ville Pokka (4 G, 18 A) played 46 games in Rockford before being traded to Ottawa for Chris DiDomenico. Pokka was perfectly serviceable for the Hogs but was spinning his tires in the organization. The return on the exchange was a vital part of Rockford’s late season success.

Gustafsson (3 G, 14 A) was with the Hogs for 25 games before spending the remainder of the season in Chicago. Joni Tuulola was scoreless in two regular season games and four postseason appearances.

Also putting up goose eggs in limited action in 2017-18 were AHL contracts Brandon Anselmini and Robin Press, who each got into seven games.  Former Hog Nolan Valleau was brought in on a PTO for three games and then released.

 

Where Does The D Go From Here?

Chicago has added Dennis Gilbert, Lucas Carlsson and Henri Jokiharju to the list of prospects on defense. With Tuulola set to begin his rookie season and five holdovers, the position is crowded even without a veteran signing like Clendening or Svedberg.

As is the case at every position, the next month will surely see some turnover. The blueline will certainly be a lot younger in 2018-19.

This week, I hope to start sifting through the forwards in one additional installment of my year-end look at the IceHogs. Follow me @JonFromi on twitter for thoughts on the Hogs throughout the summer.

 

Everything Else

Friday News Dump/Contract Signings

By Sam Fels 2134 0

Generally on Friday afternoon is when anyone that has bad news to announce will release it, figuring most will miss out as they’re on their way home for the weekend and media departments are depleted. The signings of John Hayden and Vinnie Hinostroza to contract extensions aren’t exactly that, as they’re not bad news, but still basically flying under the radar before the draft.

John Hayden signed a one-way deal for two years at $750K. I’m just going to go ahead and state that if John Hayden has any serious role to play on the Hawks in those two years, the Hawks will then suck. Hayden really is only a body, and not even a strong or powerful one. He was sent down to Rockford in the middle of the season so he could play with the puck more, which he wasn’t on a fourth line. He then proceeded to not play with the puck in the AHL. I’m fairly sure “John Hayden” is another way to say, “Jimmy Hayes” or “Kyle Baun,” but will reserve judgement. The one-way deal is somewhat intriguing, I guess, but the Hawks have kept one-way deals down in the minors before and I fully expect if things turn around for the Hawks, that’s where Hayden can expect to be until injuries hit.

As for Hinostroza, he signed for twice that for two years, $1.5 million a year. As most anyone knows, I’m bullish on Vinnie Smalls as his underlying numbers suggest something of a secret weapon. Ideally he’s driving play on a third line and creating multitudes of chances against bums, and we’ll see if the Hawks can get him there instead of needing him to moonlight on the top six. I feel there’s a poor man’s Sheary or Guentzel here though, if the Hawks could stop fixating on his size for five minutes and worry about getting him and his game-breaking speed in open ice more often. $1.5 million might seem like an utter steal soon.

Anyway, that’s about it for the day. We’ll be here next week doing full draft-preview and maybe even reaction to a trade or two, given how the past has gone.

Everything Else

High On The Hog: In The Cage

By Jon Fromi 1959 0

The Rockford IceHogs had a bit of a revolving door when it came to the crease this past season. Injuries to some key personnel made for some vertical movement for several of the goalies in the organization.

As the first installment of some “in-depth” looks at the Hawks AHL affiliate, let’s cast our gaze squarely between the pipes and the four players that patrolled that area for Rockford in 2017-18.

 

Collin Delia-28 Games (17-7-4), 2.72 GAA, .900 Save Percentage

Timing is everything in the development of a prospect. Case in point…the rookie campaign of Collin Delia.

Delia earned himself an entry contract with some strong showings in the Hawks past two prospect camps. He began the season as quite the rambling man, working out with the Hogs staff and trekking to the Indy Fuel of the ECHL for game action.

It was not a successful formula for Delia.

Yes, the same 23-year old who stood so tall in the first two rounds of Rockford’s playoff run was flat-out terrible in Indy. In ten starts, he was giving up over four goals a game and sported an .887 save percentage. In a spot start for the Hogs in Iowa on November 9, he gave up four goals on 16 shots and looked completely overwhelmed.

When he was pressed into action against the Wild on December 28, Delia had not played a game in Indy or Rockford in over a month. At that point, he was only playing because the cupboard was bare. J.F. Berube was injured and Jeff Glass was in Chicago. The IceHogs had to go with Delia and Matt Tomkins in net and try like hell to limit quality shot attempts.

Again, with a veteran at Jeremy Colliton’s disposal, I doubt Delia would have had many starts in the two months that Berube missed. Opportunity was rapping at Delia’s door…and you know what? The kid responded big-time and began getting his act together.

It took several games (with the Hogs D playing a big part in limiting high percentage shots), but Delia began to look a bit more comfortable in the crease. He put up a 5-0-1 stretch from January 6 to the 26th, then took his game up a notch from there.

In his last 15 starts, Delia was 11-3-3 and limited opponents to three goals or less in 12 of those contests. His eight starts against Chicago and Manitoba in the Calder Cup Playoffs proved to be the high-water mark. Delia took over in the first two rounds, led the Hogs to the conference final and completed an astounding turnaround to his first professional season.

Delia’s style has him winding up on his backside quite a bit. It’s something I think he needs to address in Rockford this fall. However, I believe that Delia has shown the potential the organization saw when they offered him an NHL contract.

 

Jean-Francios Berube-15 Games (7-8), 2.37 GAA, .920 Save Percentage

The former Islanders farmhand helped get Rockford off to a strong opening, winning his first five starts. Berube then dropped five straight decisions, though he was playing solid in the net when he was called up for a week of backup service in Chicago.

Returning to the IceHogs December 8, Berube stopped 18 shots in the first half of the next night’s start against Grand Rapids when he suffered a knee injury that kept him out of action for the next two months. He came back in February, lost two starts despite playing well, then was moved up to back up Anton Forsberg the rest of the season.

That December injury was pivotal for several reasons. A healthy Berube would likely have gone up to Chicago when Corey Crawford went down later that month. Rockford would then have ridden Jeff Glass for the majority of the last four months of the regular season. Glass and his feel-good run with the Hawks may not have come to fruition.

Flip Berube and Glass if it pleases you, though Berube was by far the better candidate for a recall prior to his injury. Either way, there is no way that Delia would have been able to work his way into the role he enjoyed (and certainly deserved) in the latter stages of the season.

 

Jeff Glass-28 Games (15-9-2), 2.82 GAA, .904 Save Percentage

Glass had his own success story in reaching the NHL this season. In Rockford, he served as half of a pretty successful veteran tandem in net until Berube got hurt.

Starting in the second period of the game Berube was injured to when he was recalled to the Blackhawks, Glass had a 2.39 GAA and a .935 save percentage in six games, during which Delia was planted firmly to the bench.

Glass surrendered eight goals against Manitoba when the Moose were an offensive juggernaut in November and ten more in his first two games back with Rockford in February. Aside from that, he was a steady presence in goal. Glass held opponents to three goals or less in 23 of his 28 appearances and to two goals or less in 14 games.

Glass was also a much-needed veteran voice in the locker room who came into the Western Conference Final after sitting for a month and was tremendous in his four starts. I’m not sure how much interest he’ll draw as a potential NHL backup heading into this summer, but he is a solid addition to an AHL roster.

 

Matt Tomkins-Eight Games (1-4-2), 4.04 GAA, .871 Save Percentage

Chicago’s seventh-round selection in the 2012 NHL Draft was on an AHL deal after completing his college career at Ohio State. Tomkins was injured for six weeks early in the season while in Indy but was playing well for the Fuel when he was recalled to Rockford to form a rookie goalie platoon with Delia in late December.

The Chicago Wolves put up six goals in to spoil his debut December 30. His best start came against Cleveland January 19, when he stopped 32 of 35 shots and helped the Hogs rally from a 2-0 deficit to beat the Monsters 4-3.

Tomkins dropped his last two starts for Rockford before Berube’s return sent him back to the ECHL February 8. He did see action late in the season, losing a 4-3 decision to Texas April 7 as the Stars rallied for three goals in the final period.

Tomkins’ Indy stat line (11-9-2, 3.47 GAA, .912 save percentage) was about par for a Fuel squad that gave up 3.41 goals a game this season. He didn’t show enough to merit an entry contract from the Hawks, in my opinion, but who’s to rule out another one-year AHL deal?

 

So…How Does The Goalie Situation Look Like For 2018-19?

The two goalies behind Corey Crawford, as was the case last year, are Forsberg and Berube…at least for the moment. Both are under contract for next season, as is Delia and recently signed Finnish goalie Kevin Lankinen.

Unless one of these players are moved in a trade, it’s difficult to see Glass remaining in the organization. I’m guessing that the Blackhawks have seen what his ceiling is. As I mentioned before, Glass is a solid veteran at the AHL level but a Delia-Lankinen pairing in Rockford would be best for developing potential NHL talent.

The Ivan Nailimov situation could be an x-factor in the goalie picture. It has been reported that Nailimov, a 2014 sixth-rounder, wishes to be traded. Even from Russia, the 23-year-old can see a crowded crease behind Crawford in terms of securing an NHL job in Chicago.

Could Delia, one of the Hogs postseason heroes, find himself with the Fuel again this fall? In the present configuration, someone is destined for Indy. It’s hard to see Chicago signing Lankinen to throw him to the ECHL. Delia has proved he’s capable of handling substantial AHL minutes, but I don’t believe he’s vaulted over Forsberg or Berube on the depth chart.

To assume that Chicago maintains their goal-tending collection with no changes may be a bit foolhardy. The Hawks appear to want an upgrade at the spot behind Crawford (Carter Hutton, anyone?), which could further muddy the waters. Expect a deal involving Forsberg, Berube or Delia sometime this summer, or possibly after the three get a hard look in training camp.

Depending on how much baseball I find myself watching in the next few days, I’ll take a gander at the defensive landscape Monday morning and the forwards sometime after that. Meanwhile, follow me @JonFromi on twitter for any thoughts I can belch out over the summer.

 

 

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Car Bomb’s Quest, Whichever Direction It Might Be

By Sam Fels 2198 0

Let’s pause from the offseason merry-go-round for a bit and talk about Dan Carcillo’s cause/drive/plea, whatever term is best. If you haven’t seen it, he posted a video to Twitter this week that’s worth the time:

At the top, it is clear that Carcillo is sincere, he is angry, he is still grieving, and he is concerned. He wants to see change and is willing to do the work and convincing to see it through. Overall, it should be highly commended.

Still, there’s a couple aspects where I feel Car Bomb is just a little off the path.

One, I’m not sure he’s attacking the right thing here. Clearly, the NHL and NHLPA have a lot of work to do. The NHL already has a lawsuit to deal with that almost assuredly will not go well for them, and the union could obviously do more to open the NHL up with information and actual, concerted plan for how to deal with head injuries. This half-in, half-out, quiet room if it’s a third-liner and it’s not the playoffs garbage clearly isn’t working.

And yet, the NHLPA works for the players, at least in theory. And it brings into question what the endgame for Carcillo and others is. Essentially, much like the NFL, it feels that the result should be that all players coming into the league, as well as parents and children just starting the game, know what the risks down the road are. You can’t remove head injuries from hockey. The game moves too fast and especially at the higher levels they guys are too big. There are obviously things the NHL, and NCAA and juniors and all the way down can do, and we’ll get to that. But you’re never going to remove risk from the game, just as you can’t in football.

Parents can make informed decisions, so can players as they get older. And the thing is, if given all the information and warned of what can be waiting when the playing career is over (and no matter how concussed you are, you can still be a GM of course), if a player has a chance at the NHL, I think we know what their choice is going to be. I think you’d find the same with football as well. Most, and maybe an overwhelming most, are going to still play and take the glory, money, fame, whatever else. And while that might not be the choice for us, it’s certainly one we can understand. Players want to keep playing, and while we may say they have to be protected from themselves, how many honestly would agree to that?

Really, it seems to be a debate of what we, the viewing public, can live with instead of what the players want, and yet it’s never framed that way. At this point, players in both the NHL and the NFL would have to have their head in the sand to not know what they’re risking, at least in some ways. Clearly there could be more done, but it no longer is a secret. And they’re still out there. More and more I hear people saying they can’t watch football because of what they now know it’s doing to the players. That could easily come to hockey, too. And that’s our choice. Pretty soon, everyone on the ice and in the stands is going to know exactly what’s going on, what’s at stake, and it’s up to them whether they want it in their lives or not.

Secondly, Carcillo only makes a passing mention of how he played the game, though finally acknowledging at long last that he did cause injuries to others. He fails to mention all the injuries he tried to cause, but baby steps to the elevator. We’ll get there.

And that doesn’t mean that Carcillo’s career and/or style should disqualify him from speaking out or leading this charge. In fact, he might be the right voice to do so. But only if he fully recognizes what he did on the ice, and is then speaking to those who are doing the same now (hi there, Tom Wilson, Brad Marchand, Ryan Reaves, I could go on…). I think we’ll all accept the occasional hit that goes bad or collisions. What the game has to rid itself of is deliberate attempts to injure, and more ex-players who did that speaking out would be a huge step in that. A sort of, “I was once like you and now look at what I have…” kind of thing.

Yes, the NHL needs a better head trauma protocol. But it also needs its players to want it. Players don’t want to leave the ice. They don’t want to get checked out. They jake their baseline tests to appear less hurt than they are when they have to take them again. And while Carcillo wants to lay all of the blame at the feet of the union and league, the “Warrior Mentality” is just as at fault. That players and fans either label those who want any attempt at a headshot out of the game weak or those that do are afraid of speaking up. Players don’t want teammates suspended for 20 games or more, which is what it will take and what Wilson or others should have already banked. Coaches and GMs need to stop employing and deploying players who do nothing else, forcing others to respond in kind.

The problems are there, and it’s a very good thing that Carcillo wants them addressed and now. But they’re more widespread than he either realizes or wants to admit.

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Jokiharju, Saad, And Figuring Out The Puzzle

By Sam Fels 2572 0

It feels like Stan Bowman is going to have another “June 23rd” in the coming week. That was the day last year when he went more aggressive than we’d seen before, some might say he went “a little funny in the head,” and shipped out Artemi Panarin and Niklas Hjalmarsson (hilariously not telling his coach) for Brandon Saad and Connor Murphy. We’ve already been down the road on whether these were good trades or not, so we don’t have to do that again right now.

What’s clear is that Stan knows the temperature under his office chair is getting turned up, and Rocky Wirtz going “Kiss Of Death” after his flavorless Manhattan of a season in Crain’s made that abundantly clear, as well as John McDonough stomping around the Hawks offices like Dracula and Miranda Priestly’s lovechild.

So earlier in the week we talked about Justin Faulk, as that’s been the big rumor. Yesterday, the Sun-Times’s Mark Lazerus (closer than you know…love each other so…Mark Lazerus) put forth a rumor that Faulk might cost the Hawks one Brandon Saad. When reading that for all of us here, we cringe a bit, mostly because we love Saad and mostly because we feel that trading him after this season would A) be selling low and B) evidence that the Hawks don’t really have any sort of plan.

And yet, when you begin to think about it, this might make more sense. While Faulk didn’t have his best year last year, that kind of return for Saad certainly wouldn’t be selling low, per se. As previously stated, the Hawks don’t have a lot of pieces. While we dream about centering a deal around Artem Anisimov, fooling some GM with his goal totals and size for the far too many GMs who are still concerned about that sort of thing, it’s unlikely. The Hawks simply can’t lose Schmaltz, because they don’t have much depth down the middle. DeBrincat is almost certainly untouchable, given that he could very well be a 35-goal scorer if deployed properly. To give you some idea how valuable that is, there were only seven 35-goal scorers in the league this year. Dylan Sikura wouldn’t have much value, one would think. Below the main roster, it’s hard to see what else the Hawks can throw at a team. There’s no surefire prospect, though we’ll get to Jokiharju in a second.

Still, the loss of Saad makes the Hawks look awfully short at forward. You have….this?

– Toews – Hinostroza?

DeBrincat – Schmaltz – Kane

Sikura – Anisimov/Ejdsell – Duclair?

Jurco – Anisimov/Ejdsell – DUHHHHHH?

No offense, but I’m not going to make plans for that team in May. I guess this is the balance. Toss in David Kampf and an almost certainly returning Tommy Wingels (it’s a name, not a condition) and you’re still not inspired to write poetry about it. If the Hawks had another kid you were confident could step in to a top six role, you’d be more comfortable losing Saad, but he doesn’t exist yet.

You could argue the Hawks should just load the top line and let the rest fall where it may and have Top Cat, Toews, and Kane up there and just pray they jump into hyperspace, and maybe that’s the plan. I guess I can live with a second line of Sikura-Schmaltz-Hinostroza… I just won’t live comfortably. Or happily. Or healthily.

Which brings us around to Henri Jokiharju, who signed his entry-level deal yesterday. Now, normally, I would bet pretty good money the Hawks bring him to camp, throw him out in a couple preseason games, and then punt him back to Portland for his last year in the WHL. But this is not a normal time, and both Q and Stan might have to get outside their comfort zone here.

Yes, Jokiharju is only 19. But his numbers compare favorably with Mikhail Sergachev, who played a role on the best regular season team in the league. And Jokiharju did it in the WHL, which is a much tougher scoring environment than the OHL where Sergachev was. He also squares with Ivan Provorov, who has been the Flyers best d-man the past two years (and don’t give me any Ghost Bear bullshit).

Basically, what I’m saying is the Hawks are desperate, and it may come to toss Jokiharju in the deep end and leave with it. That doesn’t mean pairing him with Keith, but a heavily sheltered role with Murphy on his off-side or Dahlstrom or something I haven’t thought of and see where you are after 40 games. If he plays his way up the lineup, even better. But even at his tender age, he almost certainly can give you something in the same usage that Sergachev provided, assuming that Quenneville wouldn’t turn psychedelic purple at the thought of using a d-man who isn’t 20 yet. He did it before with Leddy…though we all know how that went at first.

While Stan might say something about “development,” he isn’t going to be here for the end of Jokiharju’s apprenticeship at lower levels if the Hawks don’t turn it around.

It would take quite the set of tires to pin that much on Jokiharju before he’s ever played professionally, but if the Hawks sold out on him in their minds they might consider cheaper additions on the blue line, like de Haan or Hickey from the Islanders or whatever they could fashion out of Anisimov (which is clearly Nurse from Edmonton because Peter Chiarelli would totally do that) and keep Saad around.

It’s not going to be boring.

Everything Else

The Only Constant Now is Change

By Rose Rankin 2309 0

Let’s be honest—there are many, many things the Blackhawks need to change next season, and there are also a few things we already know will not be changing: Stan will remain GM, and Q will remain the coach, and as we’ve discussed here that’s probably as it should be (history of success, not hitting rock bottom yet, etc., etc.). I’m not here to argue the wisdom of those choices because I can’t say for certain that they’re wrong.

But what I do know is that of the things that need to change, of the refreshers that should take place regardless of managerial continuity, one whose time has come is to ditch the most horrid goal-celebration song in history, Chelsea Dagger.

For any of you out there who actually like this song, you will not like the rest of this post. Tough shit. For those of you who maybe have a nostalgic attachment to it because it commemorated so many exhilarating moments in the not-so-distant past, I get it. But that doesn’t mean it should mark every exhilarating moment to come. Hear me out.

Songs used for chants, singalongs, or when any extremely large group of people are gathered somewhere are by necessity simplistic—and nowhere is this more true and more necessary than American sporting events where thousands of people in various states of inebriation are attempting to say something in unison. So of course, any goal celebration song will be monosyllabic or damn near close to it, but Chelsea Dagger takes this trend to a new low. This isn’t a three-beat “Let’s Go Hawks.” This isn’t even actual words. It’s literally “duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh.” Did you see how many fucking “duhs” that is? That’s not a chorus; it’s a mindless slurring of sound. And yes, I had to sit here saying it out loud to make sure I actually typed the correct number of duhs, there are that many of them.

I know there are actual verses to this song, but they are not the reason the Hawks use it. Can you sing any of them? I think the line “know me well” is in there? The only time we hear those verses is when a goal is being reviewed and they leave the damn song playing too long.

So the chorus is mindless and stupid. But Rose, you’re a Phish fan, you say. The rest of the FFUD staff pillories me for this, and can you blame them? This is the band of such hallowed poetry as “Give the director a serpent deflector.” But nonsensical as those words may be, at least they’re words. The Chelsea Dagger chorus doesn’t even qualify as such.

And even more importantly, its lilting melody is easy to sing while drunk but that doesn’t make it good. It’s a head-bobbing, rising-and-falling chorus that achieves its purpose: to make you feel like you’re in a raucous Irish pub celebrating. I get it. But that feel is redundant—eventually that raucousness just turns to nausea. The lilting nature that makes it so memorable is exactly what makes it so tiresome. There are only so many times you can hear “duh duh duh” in a short range of rising and falling notes before you feel like that Irish pub is closing in around you and you’re getting shoved out of the way trying to reach the bar (but I wouldn’t know anything about that).

But oh, the memories. Chelsea Dagger is the soundtrack to so many joyous moments over the last decade, right? That may be, but riddle me this: at any given home game recently when the Hawks’ putrid defense gave up a bunch of goals and the team played like shit, and they managed one goal late in the third with the extra attacker to stave off a shut-out but it mattered zero for the outcome of the game, did that drunken-ish melody and pounding series of duhs really make you happy? Did it celebrate the moment, or did it sound like a shrill, hollow reminder of how pointless that score was? This Hawks team (meaning last year’s team or whatever configuration of jabronis they’re going to trot out this coming season) is not the Hawks of 2009, or hell, even of 2013 or 2015. The cast, the mood, and the plot have all changed—there’s no reason the soundtrack shouldn’t change too.

This of course begs the question, what should the goal song be? And fair reader, I don’t pretend to know the answer to that. Something driving and loud and in a major key? Yes. There has to be some pop song or some metal song or ANYTHING out there that could check the boxes of loud, upbeat, and easy enough to hum. Because that’s really all it needs to be, although something unique obviously wouldn’t hurt. And no, I don’t want it to be a Phish song—that would actually be my nightmare, albeit a hilarious one.

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You Get What Anyone Gets: Saying Goodbye To the Vegas Golden Knights

By Sam Fels 2286 0

In the end, what everyone hated or loved about the Vegas Golden Knights is that they were a mirror. When you watched them, you saw everything that this league is, good and bad.

On the bad side, the Knights exhibited for all that basically, no one knows shit and that it can be totally random. While those in the media were so quick to dub George “Tiger Punch” McPhee a genius–this being the same guy who hired Dale Hunter and Adam Oates in Washington, thus ruining a good three to four years of Alex Ovechkin’s prime–all he did was take advantage of a system that wouldn’t allow GMs to keep all the talent they’d drafted. And that system was in place because too many teams were too dumb to acquire a lot of talent. Sure, he was able to grift a couple GMs who had gone to cottage to huff white-out a bit early (hi Dale! Hi Bob! Say, why did all these guys used to work for the Hawks?), but it wasn’t he who conjured a .928 season out of Marc-Andre Fleury or a 25 SH% out of Wild Bill Karlsson (and we here eagerly await Karlsson’s 22-goal season next year with only 648 articles entitled “What’s Wrong With William Karlsson,” which of course no one will say the answer is “He’s William Karlsson, for fuck’s sake).

No, when you watched the Knights it became clear just how random the sport is. Find a goalie or two that spasm a .925+ SV% for no reason other than the gods enjoy a good chuckle now and then and a couple guys to shoot the lights out and you’re halfway there. Throw in some spice of being in a division where every goddamn team is built to be “tough to play against” (i.e. dumb and slow) and just skate by them and then anything can happen. A few bounces, a few one-goal wins, and suddenly you’re the most magical team this side of…. well, any MLS expansion team.

And if you can garnish it all with the fact that apparently no NHL player had ever heard of Las Vegas before, and every opponent showed up to your arena looking like Mia Wallace after she got into Vincent’s coat pocket and well, the sky’s the goddamn limit, isn’t it?

Watch the Knights long enough, and unless you were a fan of a certain few teams, you could see just how stupid your team was run. The Knights ran over the Kings, who are on their fourth consecutive season of trying to ice a rec rugby team, and then they could tell everyone they play rugby within the first three minutes of any conversation because that’s apparently what rugby players do in this country (and if you ever meet a rugby playing vegan, run for the hills, friendo). They got to show the Sharks just how old they are, as Pete DeBoer replaced their only young d-man with whatever wasn’t falling off of Paul Martin, and whatever was.

Then came the Jets, who actually rolled them for a fair amount but Fleury snorted an infinity stone or something and everyone chalked it up to “magic.” Of course, a series later and everything looked exactly as it did against the Jets except Fleury was doing a reasonable impression of muppet running an Iron Man (i.e. being Marc-Andre Fleury circa 2010-2016) and suddenly they’re getting their magical, Cinderella ass paddled (insert your Cinderella pansexual fanfic here).

And yes, even the architect of all this, Gerard Gallant, had his brain drip out his ear in the final round. Anyone who’s surprised by this must’ve never watched him play for the Red Wings, where during his 11-year career he actually touched the puck 12 times. But hey, this is the NHL, if you’ve got a leathered up face, were a grinder once upon a time, and have some sort of weird nickname, the press will slather you in their saliva. So there’s Jack Adams winner-elect putting out Ryan Reaves, not once but twice, as the extra-attacker when down a goal. Why? Because he had managed to rhino-hump his way into two goals into two games. I’m sure James Neal didn’t consider Marty McSorley-ing his coach at all during this stretch. He scratched David Perron, who granted really does suck but did manage to put up 66 points this year in a series where no one but the top line could do anything other than stare at the lights. And this is the best coach during the season. #EndHockey.

All of it led the hockey world declaring Vegas as the best new hockey market, and you’re not really a hockey town until Pierre McGuire declares “I haven’t heard a building this loud all spring…” and then NBC edits out the part where he concludes that sentence with, “…except for Mississauga last week when they were playing Sudbury!” Give the ash-white Canadian media three days anywhere where it’s warm and has running water, because wherever they’re from assuredly doesn’t, and suddenly you’re Hockey Mecca.

While the pregame antics were cute, much like every other Vegas act it’s going to feel camp real soon. Especially when this team has 92 points next year at best and Fleury’s SV% is .907. Sure, Vegas is going to be a free agent destination given it’s lack of state income tax and the climate. How’s that working out for the Panthers? Your glorious pre-game Knight stabbing some dude waving a flag (how tough!) is going to look a little different when it’s in front of 9,000 Flames fans and that’s it.

So thank you, Knights, for showing everyone what we all knew about the league and hockey all along. It doesn’t make sense, there is no system to it, and just about anything can happen. And it’s going to happen to you soon, like trading Karlsson for a 2nd round pick at best in two years.

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There’s A Mighty Wind A’Blowin’….

By Sam Fels 3330 0

Alex Ovechkin had barely gotten the Chalice over his head before we got some pretty tasty rumors about the Westside Club de Hockey. And they certainly bring some excitement and questions, and there’s nothing we love than the two of those together.

So let’s start with Scott Powers, who hasn’t been alone in reporting that the Hawks have called the Carolina Hurricanes about Justin Faulk and Scott Darling. Elliote Friedman was also in on rumors that Darling could beat a hasty retreat to his beloved land of beef and deep dish. There’s some smoke here, so let’s talk about the fire (YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO IMAGINE THE FIRE…). Faulk is easy enough so let’s do that second.

The possibility of bringing Scott Darling home would simply have to mean that at best, the Hawks have no idea when Corey Crawford is going to be ready to play again, or if. The worst case is they know he won’t anytime soon…or again. If the Hawks are looking not just for a quality backup, but one that can step in and take the starting role and do a passable impression, then you know something is up with Crow. And if it’s Darling they’re talking about, that’s $4.1 million worth of goaltender you’d be bringing in and you wouldn’t be bringing in that kind of number to merely be a backstop.

Now, if you’re sitting there wondering to yourself, “Darling didn’t kind of blow his chance at being a starter?” well, I won’t necessarily tell you you’re wrong. What I will say is the Carolina doesn’t do any of its goaltenders any favors with the way they played, and Darling was never the type you’d want to perform miracles night after night. That said, unless they completely overhaul the defense, including mailing Brent Seabrook to Zanzibar with Jordan Oesterle or something, it’s highly unlikely the Hawks are going to be all that defensively sound either. And given how the forwards shake out, the Hawks might have to play an even more up-tempo style to match what the Penguins or Knights or Preds do. Which means you need more circus acts from your goalie, which is what got the Canes in this hole in the first place. Duncan Keith isn’t going to rediscover Norris form next year, though he can still be good. Erik Gustafsson is still not going to be able to spell “defense.” Whatever Forsling improves, it’s still going to be a learning curve.

The other nugget here is that Friedman suggests Darling could be had for Marian Hossa’s contract. Which…I mean I guess? The appeal for the Canes is that though they would gain about a million and a half in cap hit, in actual dollars they’d spend three million less given that Hossa’s salary is only $1 million. And I mean…sure? If they’re that desperate to lose Darling, but we’re still talking about a goalie who’s only had one bad season and I don’t know that there are many alternatives out there for them.

One would be Phillip Grubauer, but he could be a cheaper alternative for the Hawks as well, at least in terms of dollars. But the Caps would want actual assets in return for a promising goaltender who had a wonderful regular season and is just 26. He’s also RFA, so he that might lessen the assets needed to get him and also makes his salary cheaper. But Grubauer is going to want to at least have a chance to compete to start, and if Crow is ever going to play again (and this is how we should really start framing the discussion) he’s still going to slide right back into being the #1. But, as said, Grubauer is restricted so you can sign him for two years or whatever and tell him to just wait it out. And given when those two years are up Crow would be 35, perhaps he’s ready to take over then. But again, it’s a thin goalie market, and there will be plenty of teams calling about Grubs, which will only drive the price up.

As for Faulk, well, we’ve only been screaming for the Hawks to get him for like five years now. He might not solve everything but he solves a ton. He’s a right-handed puck mover you could play with Keith, or Murphy on his off-side, or Dahlstrom, or some other combos. He’s a real live power play QB and not one play-acting at it like Keith. He’s sound defensively as well. You could already see pairing him with Keith, leaving Murphy and Gustafsson to be ya-ha time on the second pairing and leaving Seabrook on a third pairing where he actually can still be useful given the right partner.

Of course, you can’t just HAVE Justin Faulk. The Canes are looking to cash in on this, and distressingly Powers says in his article the Hawks won’t move the #8 pick. WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT?! By the time whoever they take at #8 (it’s so going to be Tkachuk’s asshole son, the second one) is actually ready to contribute at the NHL level, everyone very well might be out of a job. While planning for the long term is nice in your life and maybe even mine (never tried it), this team doesn’t have a long-term. Two seasons from now when everyone is in their mid-30s or worse they’re going to suck and suck hard, and no amount of clever drafting is going to prevent that unless they really get some somewhere-over-the-rainbow luck happening. The #8 pick alone isn’t going to get you Faulk, but it might take the place of a body you don’t want to give up. I’m sure the names on Carolina’s list start with “Schmaltz, DeBrincat, and maybe even Sikura.” Anisimov isn’t going to get it done either, though man that would be wonderful.

I suppose if I squint you could justify losing Schmaltz if you thought Ejdsell was ready for primetime now, and if you thought Quenneville could disabuse himself from the notion that Anisimov is a #2 center in the Western Conference. Those seem like big, motherfuckin’ ifs.

But hey, at least the kettle is percolating over on Madison. We’ll see what the construction workers yelling at McDonough want.

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Friday Foofaraw: Your Not So Scientific World Cup Preview

By Sam Fels 1682 0

I could have done this next Friday, but by then we’ll be up the elbow in World Cup matches so let’s get it done now. Because I want to. Anyway, if you’re not a footy fan, well that’s your problem, but the world’s biggest party begins on Thursday in Russia. After bribing his way into an Olympics in his country’s warmest city, Putin one-upped himself by bribing/threatening/both his way into a World Cup in a country that hates everyone and has a hooligan problem. Really masterful stuff. But if you’re a lout and a layabout like me, there’s nothing better than the World Cup for an excuse to continue to do nothing. So what are we in for?

Group A – Russia, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Uruguay

Good lord does this group suck, and I’m sure it wasn’t in any way rigged for the hosts to proceed. This whole tournament could be some 1978 shit (look it up). This group was god awful before Sergio Ramos gave Mo Salah the Yes Lock, and Salah was about the only thing that made Egypt interesting. Uruguay will go on if Luis Suarez doesn’t try to turn anyone into a snack, which we can’t guarantee. In theory with Atletico Madrid’s defense in theirs, and Edinson Cavani and Suarez in attack, Uruguay should walk this before getting murdered in the round of 16. The thing is Cavani blows when he’s not playing the French league and Suarez is crazy and getting older.

Group B – Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Iran

They say Spain has reloaded, and looking over the squad you tend to think so. Then again they don’t have a striker, and the defense is still Shithead Ramos and Pique and they’re 109 years old. Then again, they’ve never needed a striker and this midfield is so loaded it’s not fair. There’s also the whole “win for Iniesta” thing I guess. But they were woeful in the last World Cup, and they weren’t much better in Euro ’16, so let’s just have them prove they’re up there with France and Germany and Brazil and Argentina.

Portugal won Euro ’16 by boring the ever-loving shit out of everyone and then winning on penalties when they couldn’t wake back up in time. They’re a little more entertaining now, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be 2000-2004 vintage. Ronaldo will score four against Iran, and then yell at everyone in the other two matches.

Morocco is fine I guess, they’ll probably get a point off one of the Iberian sides, and Iran will try and not give up a touchdown to them.

Group C – France, Australia, Denmark, Peru

France might be the most talented team in this competition, and almost certainly the most talented European squad. Except they’re French, and have spent most every tournament since 2006 fucking it up. You’d think with a front-line of Mbappe, Griezmann, Dembele with Pogba and Kante behind that you couldn’t possibly find a way to fuck it up, and yet there we were two years ago watching a Portugal side that couldn’t cross the halfway line lift the damn trophy. They’ll walk this group, they’ll neuter whoever is second in Group D, but after that they’re going to have to figure their midfield out. Then again, this side is so overloaded with skill it might not matter.

Australia sucks. Peru had protests in the street when their captain was suspended for drug use, which is awesome, and eventually was reinstated. Denmark is one player, but that one player (Christian Eriksen) is probably enough to get second here. And then he’ll fuck off to Madrid and piss off all my Spurs-supporting friends, which I’m very much looking forward to.

Group D – Argentina, Iceland, Croatia, Nigeria

Lionel Messi is going to get the Ovechkin treatment all tournament, because he really does need a World Cup trophy to go with his best-ever resume. But if France has spent this decade fucking it up, Argentina has been fucking it up for an additional 20 years or so. You look at this squad and you think you could manage it by simply saying “go play,” and then they lose on penalties to someone. This has to be the time, unless Messi is going to be the old hand off the bench in Qatar in four years.

Iceland was cute two years ago, qualified for this rather easily, and will make for intriguing viewing with the other two in this group. Croatia always seems to have more talent, and play the most god-awful football in every tournament and you can never figure out why. Croatia-Portugal in Euro ’16 was maybe the worst match I’ve ever seen. Nigeria are going to be tons of fun whichever of two directions they go: Either upsetting the two European teams and throwing a scare into the Albiceleste, or the entire team will quit the night before the opening match.

Group E – Brazil, Switzerland, Costa Rica, Serbia

After the biggest calamity perhaps in the sport’s history, Brazil apparently has a new defensive steel about them while still boasting Willian, Neymar, Coutinho, Jesus, Firmino and a host of other nutcases going forward. So look for them to look absolutely dynamite until the quarters or semis, but when they run into one of the other big boys to fall apart. Because that’s kind of all they’ve done since ’94, and don’t give me 2002 when they played exactly nobody the whole tournament. That Germany team sucked and should have lost to the US, and even England probably should have beaten them.

The rest of this group is shite. Switzerland seemingly always get to the knockout round, promptly lose a torturous 1-0 match, and then you forget they were even there. Costa Rica is a keeper and nothing else unless they’re playing the US being coached by a moron. Serbia are more likely to get into a team-wide brawl than beat anyone who matters.

Group F – Germany, Mexico, Sweden, South Korea

On paper this is Germany’s, but they’ve been a mess for a while now. Maybe they come good in a tournament setting again, but they were m miles worse than France two years ago and they don’t look any better now. There’s a reason no one holds this trophy.

I won’t hear any “Mexico is good” now horseshit. They just look good compared to the US, and even they should have lost to them at home. Sweden always overachieves and deservedly handed Italy their ass in the playoffs to qualify. South Korea always is a challenge due to their energy and organization, so any one of the three could join Germany in the knockouts. It wouldn’t even be a huge shock if Germany’s malaise sees them crash out here, one big side always does, and Give Me Your Joachim Low really wishes he took the Arsenal job.

Group G – Belgium, Panama, Tunisia, England

Again, if this were just Football Manager, Belgium should win the whole thing. They’re are obscenely talented, boasting a midfield with Hazard, De Bruyne, Mertens, Carrasco, Nainggollan, Dembele all playing behind Lukaku. But like previous tournaments they’re managed by a true chowderhead in Roberto Martinez, so they’re going to let in a boatload of goals. They can outscore that for a while, but not to the Final which they should. And if Lukaku gets hurt or is off the boil, the one place they’re short is forward.

Panama is only here because the US couldn’t get its head out of its ass, and Tunisia are making up the numbers as well. England probably won’t beat Belgium, but they’re solid enough to take second and can definitely beat whoever wins Group H to get to their customary quarterfinal full-body dry heave.

Group H – Poland, Senegal, Colombia, Japan

Who cooked this one up? Poland never go anywhere and Lewandowski can only score against German teams you can’t pronounce now. Senegal are Sadio Mane and a bunch of guys who play or Everton or West Ham.  Japan play one good game, get everyone’s hopes up, and then disappear. Colombia were fun four years ago and should have beaten Brazil if Brazil hadn’t decide to just kick them all over the place. But James isn’t in the form he was then. If you’ve got errands to run one day, make it during this group’s games. Nothing that happens here will matter.

Winner: Ronaldo got his two years ago without actually doing anything, it’s gotta be Messi this time by himself. Spain in the quarters likely await, but if they can get through that it’s a dodgy German team or maybe England or Colombia or something equally stupid in the semis. He missed in the last final, he won’t again if presented the chance.