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You Get What Anyone Gets: Saying Goodbye To the Vegas Golden Knights

By Sam Fels 2333 0

In the end, what everyone hated or loved about the Vegas Golden Knights is that they were a mirror. When you watched them, you saw everything that this league is, good and bad.

On the bad side, the Knights exhibited for all that basically, no one knows shit and that it can be totally random. While those in the media were so quick to dub George “Tiger Punch” McPhee a genius–this being the same guy who hired Dale Hunter and Adam Oates in Washington, thus ruining a good three to four years of Alex Ovechkin’s prime–all he did was take advantage of a system that wouldn’t allow GMs to keep all the talent they’d drafted. And that system was in place because too many teams were too dumb to acquire a lot of talent. Sure, he was able to grift a couple GMs who had gone to cottage to huff white-out a bit early (hi Dale! Hi Bob! Say, why did all these guys used to work for the Hawks?), but it wasn’t he who conjured a .928 season out of Marc-Andre Fleury or a 25 SH% out of Wild Bill Karlsson (and we here eagerly await Karlsson’s 22-goal season next year with only 648 articles entitled “What’s Wrong With William Karlsson,” which of course no one will say the answer is “He’s William Karlsson, for fuck’s sake).

No, when you watched the Knights it became clear just how random the sport is. Find a goalie or two that spasm a .925+ SV% for no reason other than the gods enjoy a good chuckle now and then and a couple guys to shoot the lights out and you’re halfway there. Throw in some spice of being in a division where every goddamn team is built to be “tough to play against” (i.e. dumb and slow) and just skate by them and then anything can happen. A few bounces, a few one-goal wins, and suddenly you’re the most magical team this side of…. well, any MLS expansion team.

And if you can garnish it all with the fact that apparently no NHL player had ever heard of Las Vegas before, and every opponent showed up to your arena looking like Mia Wallace after she got into Vincent’s coat pocket and well, the sky’s the goddamn limit, isn’t it?

Watch the Knights long enough, and unless you were a fan of a certain few teams, you could see just how stupid your team was run. The Knights ran over the Kings, who are on their fourth consecutive season of trying to ice a rec rugby team, and then they could tell everyone they play rugby within the first three minutes of any conversation because that’s apparently what rugby players do in this country (and if you ever meet a rugby playing vegan, run for the hills, friendo). They got to show the Sharks just how old they are, as Pete DeBoer replaced their only young d-man with whatever wasn’t falling off of Paul Martin, and whatever was.

Then came the Jets, who actually rolled them for a fair amount but Fleury snorted an infinity stone or something and everyone chalked it up to “magic.” Of course, a series later and everything looked exactly as it did against the Jets except Fleury was doing a reasonable impression of muppet running an Iron Man (i.e. being Marc-Andre Fleury circa 2010-2016) and suddenly they’re getting their magical, Cinderella ass paddled (insert your Cinderella pansexual fanfic here).

And yes, even the architect of all this, Gerard Gallant, had his brain drip out his ear in the final round. Anyone who’s surprised by this must’ve never watched him play for the Red Wings, where during his 11-year career he actually touched the puck 12 times. But hey, this is the NHL, if you’ve got a leathered up face, were a grinder once upon a time, and have some sort of weird nickname, the press will slather you in their saliva. So there’s Jack Adams winner-elect putting out Ryan Reaves, not once but twice, as the extra-attacker when down a goal. Why? Because he had managed to rhino-hump his way into two goals into two games. I’m sure James Neal didn’t consider Marty McSorley-ing his coach at all during this stretch. He scratched David Perron, who granted really does suck but did manage to put up 66 points this year in a series where no one but the top line could do anything other than stare at the lights. And this is the best coach during the season. #EndHockey.

All of it led the hockey world declaring Vegas as the best new hockey market, and you’re not really a hockey town until Pierre McGuire declares “I haven’t heard a building this loud all spring…” and then NBC edits out the part where he concludes that sentence with, “…except for Mississauga last week when they were playing Sudbury!” Give the ash-white Canadian media three days anywhere where it’s warm and has running water, because wherever they’re from assuredly doesn’t, and suddenly you’re Hockey Mecca.

While the pregame antics were cute, much like every other Vegas act it’s going to feel camp real soon. Especially when this team has 92 points next year at best and Fleury’s SV% is .907. Sure, Vegas is going to be a free agent destination given it’s lack of state income tax and the climate. How’s that working out for the Panthers? Your glorious pre-game Knight stabbing some dude waving a flag (how tough!) is going to look a little different when it’s in front of 9,000 Flames fans and that’s it.

So thank you, Knights, for showing everyone what we all knew about the league and hockey all along. It doesn’t make sense, there is no system to it, and just about anything can happen. And it’s going to happen to you soon, like trading Karlsson for a 2nd round pick at best in two years.

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There’s A Mighty Wind A’Blowin’….

By Sam Fels 3380 0

Alex Ovechkin had barely gotten the Chalice over his head before we got some pretty tasty rumors about the Westside Club de Hockey. And they certainly bring some excitement and questions, and there’s nothing we love than the two of those together.

So let’s start with Scott Powers, who hasn’t been alone in reporting that the Hawks have called the Carolina Hurricanes about Justin Faulk and Scott Darling. Elliote Friedman was also in on rumors that Darling could beat a hasty retreat to his beloved land of beef and deep dish. There’s some smoke here, so let’s talk about the fire (YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO IMAGINE THE FIRE…). Faulk is easy enough so let’s do that second.

The possibility of bringing Scott Darling home would simply have to mean that at best, the Hawks have no idea when Corey Crawford is going to be ready to play again, or if. The worst case is they know he won’t anytime soon…or again. If the Hawks are looking not just for a quality backup, but one that can step in and take the starting role and do a passable impression, then you know something is up with Crow. And if it’s Darling they’re talking about, that’s $4.1 million worth of goaltender you’d be bringing in and you wouldn’t be bringing in that kind of number to merely be a backstop.

Now, if you’re sitting there wondering to yourself, “Darling didn’t kind of blow his chance at being a starter?” well, I won’t necessarily tell you you’re wrong. What I will say is the Carolina doesn’t do any of its goaltenders any favors with the way they played, and Darling was never the type you’d want to perform miracles night after night. That said, unless they completely overhaul the defense, including mailing Brent Seabrook to Zanzibar with Jordan Oesterle or something, it’s highly unlikely the Hawks are going to be all that defensively sound either. And given how the forwards shake out, the Hawks might have to play an even more up-tempo style to match what the Penguins or Knights or Preds do. Which means you need more circus acts from your goalie, which is what got the Canes in this hole in the first place. Duncan Keith isn’t going to rediscover Norris form next year, though he can still be good. Erik Gustafsson is still not going to be able to spell “defense.” Whatever Forsling improves, it’s still going to be a learning curve.

The other nugget here is that Friedman suggests Darling could be had for Marian Hossa’s contract. Which…I mean I guess? The appeal for the Canes is that though they would gain about a million and a half in cap hit, in actual dollars they’d spend three million less given that Hossa’s salary is only $1 million. And I mean…sure? If they’re that desperate to lose Darling, but we’re still talking about a goalie who’s only had one bad season and I don’t know that there are many alternatives out there for them.

One would be Phillip Grubauer, but he could be a cheaper alternative for the Hawks as well, at least in terms of dollars. But the Caps would want actual assets in return for a promising goaltender who had a wonderful regular season and is just 26. He’s also RFA, so he that might lessen the assets needed to get him and also makes his salary cheaper. But Grubauer is going to want to at least have a chance to compete to start, and if Crow is ever going to play again (and this is how we should really start framing the discussion) he’s still going to slide right back into being the #1. But, as said, Grubauer is restricted so you can sign him for two years or whatever and tell him to just wait it out. And given when those two years are up Crow would be 35, perhaps he’s ready to take over then. But again, it’s a thin goalie market, and there will be plenty of teams calling about Grubs, which will only drive the price up.

As for Faulk, well, we’ve only been screaming for the Hawks to get him for like five years now. He might not solve everything but he solves a ton. He’s a right-handed puck mover you could play with Keith, or Murphy on his off-side, or Dahlstrom, or some other combos. He’s a real live power play QB and not one play-acting at it like Keith. He’s sound defensively as well. You could already see pairing him with Keith, leaving Murphy and Gustafsson to be ya-ha time on the second pairing and leaving Seabrook on a third pairing where he actually can still be useful given the right partner.

Of course, you can’t just HAVE Justin Faulk. The Canes are looking to cash in on this, and distressingly Powers says in his article the Hawks won’t move the #8 pick. WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT?! By the time whoever they take at #8 (it’s so going to be Tkachuk’s asshole son, the second one) is actually ready to contribute at the NHL level, everyone very well might be out of a job. While planning for the long term is nice in your life and maybe even mine (never tried it), this team doesn’t have a long-term. Two seasons from now when everyone is in their mid-30s or worse they’re going to suck and suck hard, and no amount of clever drafting is going to prevent that unless they really get some somewhere-over-the-rainbow luck happening. The #8 pick alone isn’t going to get you Faulk, but it might take the place of a body you don’t want to give up. I’m sure the names on Carolina’s list start with “Schmaltz, DeBrincat, and maybe even Sikura.” Anisimov isn’t going to get it done either, though man that would be wonderful.

I suppose if I squint you could justify losing Schmaltz if you thought Ejdsell was ready for primetime now, and if you thought Quenneville could disabuse himself from the notion that Anisimov is a #2 center in the Western Conference. Those seem like big, motherfuckin’ ifs.

But hey, at least the kettle is percolating over on Madison. We’ll see what the construction workers yelling at McDonough want.

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Friday Foofaraw: Your Not So Scientific World Cup Preview

By Sam Fels 1726 0

I could have done this next Friday, but by then we’ll be up the elbow in World Cup matches so let’s get it done now. Because I want to. Anyway, if you’re not a footy fan, well that’s your problem, but the world’s biggest party begins on Thursday in Russia. After bribing his way into an Olympics in his country’s warmest city, Putin one-upped himself by bribing/threatening/both his way into a World Cup in a country that hates everyone and has a hooligan problem. Really masterful stuff. But if you’re a lout and a layabout like me, there’s nothing better than the World Cup for an excuse to continue to do nothing. So what are we in for?

Group A – Russia, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Uruguay

Good lord does this group suck, and I’m sure it wasn’t in any way rigged for the hosts to proceed. This whole tournament could be some 1978 shit (look it up). This group was god awful before Sergio Ramos gave Mo Salah the Yes Lock, and Salah was about the only thing that made Egypt interesting. Uruguay will go on if Luis Suarez doesn’t try to turn anyone into a snack, which we can’t guarantee. In theory with Atletico Madrid’s defense in theirs, and Edinson Cavani and Suarez in attack, Uruguay should walk this before getting murdered in the round of 16. The thing is Cavani blows when he’s not playing the French league and Suarez is crazy and getting older.

Group B – Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Iran

They say Spain has reloaded, and looking over the squad you tend to think so. Then again they don’t have a striker, and the defense is still Shithead Ramos and Pique and they’re 109 years old. Then again, they’ve never needed a striker and this midfield is so loaded it’s not fair. There’s also the whole “win for Iniesta” thing I guess. But they were woeful in the last World Cup, and they weren’t much better in Euro ’16, so let’s just have them prove they’re up there with France and Germany and Brazil and Argentina.

Portugal won Euro ’16 by boring the ever-loving shit out of everyone and then winning on penalties when they couldn’t wake back up in time. They’re a little more entertaining now, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be 2000-2004 vintage. Ronaldo will score four against Iran, and then yell at everyone in the other two matches.

Morocco is fine I guess, they’ll probably get a point off one of the Iberian sides, and Iran will try and not give up a touchdown to them.

Group C – France, Australia, Denmark, Peru

France might be the most talented team in this competition, and almost certainly the most talented European squad. Except they’re French, and have spent most every tournament since 2006 fucking it up. You’d think with a front-line of Mbappe, Griezmann, Dembele with Pogba and Kante behind that you couldn’t possibly find a way to fuck it up, and yet there we were two years ago watching a Portugal side that couldn’t cross the halfway line lift the damn trophy. They’ll walk this group, they’ll neuter whoever is second in Group D, but after that they’re going to have to figure their midfield out. Then again, this side is so overloaded with skill it might not matter.

Australia sucks. Peru had protests in the street when their captain was suspended for drug use, which is awesome, and eventually was reinstated. Denmark is one player, but that one player (Christian Eriksen) is probably enough to get second here. And then he’ll fuck off to Madrid and piss off all my Spurs-supporting friends, which I’m very much looking forward to.

Group D – Argentina, Iceland, Croatia, Nigeria

Lionel Messi is going to get the Ovechkin treatment all tournament, because he really does need a World Cup trophy to go with his best-ever resume. But if France has spent this decade fucking it up, Argentina has been fucking it up for an additional 20 years or so. You look at this squad and you think you could manage it by simply saying “go play,” and then they lose on penalties to someone. This has to be the time, unless Messi is going to be the old hand off the bench in Qatar in four years.

Iceland was cute two years ago, qualified for this rather easily, and will make for intriguing viewing with the other two in this group. Croatia always seems to have more talent, and play the most god-awful football in every tournament and you can never figure out why. Croatia-Portugal in Euro ’16 was maybe the worst match I’ve ever seen. Nigeria are going to be tons of fun whichever of two directions they go: Either upsetting the two European teams and throwing a scare into the Albiceleste, or the entire team will quit the night before the opening match.

Group E – Brazil, Switzerland, Costa Rica, Serbia

After the biggest calamity perhaps in the sport’s history, Brazil apparently has a new defensive steel about them while still boasting Willian, Neymar, Coutinho, Jesus, Firmino and a host of other nutcases going forward. So look for them to look absolutely dynamite until the quarters or semis, but when they run into one of the other big boys to fall apart. Because that’s kind of all they’ve done since ’94, and don’t give me 2002 when they played exactly nobody the whole tournament. That Germany team sucked and should have lost to the US, and even England probably should have beaten them.

The rest of this group is shite. Switzerland seemingly always get to the knockout round, promptly lose a torturous 1-0 match, and then you forget they were even there. Costa Rica is a keeper and nothing else unless they’re playing the US being coached by a moron. Serbia are more likely to get into a team-wide brawl than beat anyone who matters.

Group F – Germany, Mexico, Sweden, South Korea

On paper this is Germany’s, but they’ve been a mess for a while now. Maybe they come good in a tournament setting again, but they were m miles worse than France two years ago and they don’t look any better now. There’s a reason no one holds this trophy.

I won’t hear any “Mexico is good” now horseshit. They just look good compared to the US, and even they should have lost to them at home. Sweden always overachieves and deservedly handed Italy their ass in the playoffs to qualify. South Korea always is a challenge due to their energy and organization, so any one of the three could join Germany in the knockouts. It wouldn’t even be a huge shock if Germany’s malaise sees them crash out here, one big side always does, and Give Me Your Joachim Low really wishes he took the Arsenal job.

Group G – Belgium, Panama, Tunisia, England

Again, if this were just Football Manager, Belgium should win the whole thing. They’re are obscenely talented, boasting a midfield with Hazard, De Bruyne, Mertens, Carrasco, Nainggollan, Dembele all playing behind Lukaku. But like previous tournaments they’re managed by a true chowderhead in Roberto Martinez, so they’re going to let in a boatload of goals. They can outscore that for a while, but not to the Final which they should. And if Lukaku gets hurt or is off the boil, the one place they’re short is forward.

Panama is only here because the US couldn’t get its head out of its ass, and Tunisia are making up the numbers as well. England probably won’t beat Belgium, but they’re solid enough to take second and can definitely beat whoever wins Group H to get to their customary quarterfinal full-body dry heave.

Group H – Poland, Senegal, Colombia, Japan

Who cooked this one up? Poland never go anywhere and Lewandowski can only score against German teams you can’t pronounce now. Senegal are Sadio Mane and a bunch of guys who play or Everton or West Ham.  Japan play one good game, get everyone’s hopes up, and then disappear. Colombia were fun four years ago and should have beaten Brazil if Brazil hadn’t decide to just kick them all over the place. But James isn’t in the form he was then. If you’ve got errands to run one day, make it during this group’s games. Nothing that happens here will matter.

Winner: Ronaldo got his two years ago without actually doing anything, it’s gotta be Messi this time by himself. Spain in the quarters likely await, but if they can get through that it’s a dodgy German team or maybe England or Colombia or something equally stupid in the semis. He missed in the last final, he won’t again if presented the chance.

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Night Songs – That’s How Ovie Does It

By Sam Fels 2657 0

Call me a sucker for these moments.

I’ve certainly had my issues with the Washington Capitals. I’ve definitely reveled in their failures along with everyone else, spiced with a tinge of frustration with them for not making good on the promise of so many teams in the past (don’t tell me Caps-Hawks in ’10 wouldn’t have been a much better series than the Flyers, not that I care now). Tom Wilson’s presence. Timothy Leif, though if Oshie had become a Hawk once upon a time he’d be one of our favorites I’m sure. Bruce Boudreau. Barry Trotz at times. They’ve been far from the most annoying team in the world, and if you’re a hockey fan for just two to three years or so you’ll be annoyed by every team that isn’t yours.

But I don’t know how you didn’t smile watching Alex Ovechkin last night. Sure, it’s not like any professional athlete will “suffer” when they don’t win a championship, given the perks that come along with it. And yet this is what they’ve been trained and drafted and deployed to do their whole lives. It’s been their raison d’etre, and if it’s not they can expect a torrent of horseshit thrown their way (for evidence, check out Pat Boyle calling out Jonathan Toews on his podcast/propaganda).

And especially when it’s Ovie, who’s basically had to eat all the shit for the Caps for 13 years without ever balking. Writers looking for an easy scapegoat, who wouldn’t dare call him a choker or accuse him of not caring if he came from Swift Current. Coaches trying to cover their own incompetence by laying it as his feet. Caps fans will deny it now but there were a fair few calling for him to be traded after whatever playoff failure you want to choose. The constant comparisons to Sidney Crosby.

And Ovie had to swallow all of that Caps-Pens bullshit, even though most of it came well before he was even thought of as a prospect. Ovie’s Caps and Sid’s Pens have only met in the playoffs four times. And one of those was 10 years ago. Does it even count? The Caps-Pens “thing” is basically only slightly more of a “thing” than Hawks-Canucks or Hawks-Wild. Fuck, the Hawks and Predators almost have the same recent playoff history. And yet Ovie and the Caps had to choke it all down because the Pens went on to win a Cup each time after beating them, which doesn’t really have much to do with them, does it?

You see Ovechkin last night, quite simply the greatest scorer the game has ever seen, and what it meant to him. Or those fans who flooded Chinatown and elsewhere last night in DC (wishing Chicago might have found a gathering space for the Hawks once, but oh well. I wouldn’t have been there anyway, because I needed to be punching Killion at the bar). You can’t help but smile. It’s been a good hockey town, whatever you think of it. And you see them do it for the first time, and just maybe you remember what it was like the first time for you. It’s always good to be reminded why you bother with this in the first place.

I saw a lot about how this clearly isn’t the best team and how this is how the NHL works. And maybe it is. At this point, we know the regular season standings don’t tell a complete story. I think you take the teams that have 105 points or more and you basically throw them in a “top group” and they’re all the same. The Caps won a division that produced five playoff teams. They clearly don’t suck.

Matt had it right yesterday, that when you get to this stage, it’s usually the chalk. You may say this team or that team wasn’t the best one, but there hasn’t been a Cup winner in a very long time that came from nowhere. They’re almost always among that “top group.” You can get some weirdos in the Final, and then the team with more future Hall of Famers wins. The Caps have at least two in Ovechkin and Backstrom, and Kuznetsov could be one day if he maintains this level. It’s not that hard.

I wonder where Ovie goes from here. After Sid won his first he had his first 50-goal season the next out, seemingly freed of what had been expected and placed on him since he was a teenager. Does Ovechkin have anther 50 or 60-goal season in him? I wouldn’t ever doubt him.

It’s funny, because most of this playoff run, this Caps team has been somewhat derided as “not a vintage Caps team.” And yet if one of the previous two that were better than this, had just gotten a bounce or two here or there against the Penguins, and won a Cup before this, we’d say this version did it on know-how and confidence, much like the ’15 Hawks. It’s still the same core, they just got a little more luck, a little more goaltending, and there it is. Looking back at our local outfit, Game 7 OT in ’13 could have gone any direction. The Bruins were a post away from going up 3-0. Two multi-OT games against Nashville in ’15 would have swung that series, or Pekka Rinne not drinking a bathtub of cough syrup before every game would have. And then what would the narrative be?

It’s why talk of “windows” is hardly the whole discussion. There isn’t really more the Caps could have done to now be a multi-Cup winner, a save here or there or a deflection here or there. I guess that’s the magic of it all. Teams can only put themselves in position, but after that so much of it is out of their hands. It’s fascinating theater and torturous following.

Good for Ovie. Good for Trotz, who coached his ass off this spring. Holtby too. It’s a good ending. Maybe not the best. But good.

Anyway, Vegas Eulogy Monday.

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Night Songs – Stanley Cup Final Game 4

By Sam Fels 2101 0

And now we’re on the brink, though everyone already writing the tributes to the Capitals might want to check their history when leading a series 3-1. Even this grouping, for the most part, was around when they blew one of these to the Rangers three years ago in one off those Caps-Rags series we’ve all tried to burn from our collective memories. So yeah, if you love history and gremlins and such, you know this one isn’t over.

As the Caps were laying the wood to the Knights last night, there were far too many top-of-the-profession writers remarking on how the “magic” had run out for the Knights. They’re either willfully trying to push an angle that doesn’t exist, or they’re collectively stupid. Or both, I suppose.

If you watched the last round for the Knights Who Say Nee, even though it ended in five games it was hardly a dominating effort. The Jets ran the show for long stretch of that series, and yet kept running up against a very toothy wall in Marc-Andre Fleury. .950. There’s nothing else to say. There’s no planning or method to defeat a goalie who is throwing a .950 at you. If you can’t really conceive of that, just know with a goalie playing that well it takes 40 shots to find two goals, and even if your goalie is paying really well the other team can probably find two bounces off something for two of their own. At the very worst, Vegas was always gaining a shot at a coin-flip. This is the sport, really.

.845

That’s Fleury’s SV% in this series. And sure, it’s not like the Capitals are just a bunch of escaped wildebeests that got loose or something. Kuznetsov, Ovechkin, Backstrom, Oshie, Carlson, with help from Eller and his ilk, there’s a lot of talent here even if they lost some from previous seasons. But .845 is .845, and you’re going to lose when that happens. The Knights are losing, plain and simple.

Mostly, if you go by the underlying info, the Knights and Caps have been pretty much even, with the Knights just shading it. Some of that is they’ve been chasing the game more than any other series, but the fact that they’re chasing the game is down to Fleury suddenly turning into Tigger as much as anything else. This is still a team that’s basically one line, whatever inflated narrative Eddie and Pierre want to make about Reaves and Nosek on the 4th line, and it’s not really built to come from behind.

Sure, the Caps are fast enough to try and attack the defense of the Knights, which is not gifted with the puck other than Schmidt (and Engelland is AWFUL and the Caps have finally showed that). But the Jets did too, they just didn’t have an answer for the final boss in the crease. He’s basically provided the Caps a cheat code.

-While it’s been easy to discuss how the Knights are made up of players nobody else wanted (which isn’t totally true, I’m sure the Pens would have loved to keep Fleury as a backup, except you don’t pay backups $6 million and Fleury wouldn’t want to be that anyway. James Neal, Schmidt, Theodore, one or two others are players that those teams would have loved to keep but thanks to the expansion and cap rules, they simply couldn’t), the Caps have their fair share of weird pickups.

Oshie was acquired for Troy Brouwer (a deal I actually liked for the Blues at the time, and now Troy Brouwer has turned into a Jalopy). Michal Kempny…well, let’s not do this again. Lars Eller was discarded by two teams who didn’t appreciate him for Jaro Halak and and two 2nd round picks. As strange as it sounds for a 1st round pick, Kuznetsov actually slipped farther than he should have because teams knew he wouldn’t come over from the KHL for a few seasons. Matt Niskanen was allowed to walk from Pittsburgh.

It’s not just the Knights who can profit off the idiocy of others.

-What the Knights also can do like every other team is act like a bunch of asshats when they’re getting their dicks handed to them on the scoreboard. There’s Ryan Reaves doing Reaves things because his team is fucked for the night, which proves exactly nothing.

While Gerard Gallant is going to walk with the Coach Of The Year award, and he should, keep in mind he couldn’t keep his team wrangled in last night when the contest was over and they ended up losing without any class (and don’t fool yourself, there is not such thing as “message sending.” It’s just childish, bad losing). He’s also the coach who in two straight games when his team needed a goal and his net empty put Reaves out as his extra skater because he somehow doofus’d his way into two goals in two games (one a penalty). Even the best at the moment are prone to moments of completely, blithering stupidity.

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Rocky Hints At The Obvious

By Sam Fels 3511 0

So is this reverse Groundhog’s Day, when Rocky Wirtz comes out of his office to say something publicly? And are there construction workers outside his office yelling at him about Andrew Shaw? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anyway, if you didn’t see it, Rocky had an interview in Crain’s today. And really, the only newsworthy bit about it is that Rocky spoke publicly at all, which he’s not really prone to do. But what people will focus on is that Rocky hints that there will be changes, where exactly he doesn’t say, if the Hawks don’t come strong out of the gates next season.

And really, this isn’t a surprise. The Hawks haven’t been a factor in the playoffs in three seasons, which puts them basically on par with a lot of shitty teams. Here are a list of teams that haven’t even spasmed a playoff series win in the past three seasons: Florida, Carolina, Flyers, New Jersey, Columbus, Toronto, Montreal, Buffalo, Detroit, Minnesota, Arizona, Vancouver, LA. This is definitely not a group you want to be among. And on this list, you could easily say that Philly, New Jersey, and Toronto have much brighter futures than the Hawks do at the moment.

So clearly, the Hawks need to change their fortunes, and I don’t think it’s suggesting much to say that Q might want to get his troops roaring out of the gates or he might want to get a resume ready. Sure, maybe you could axe Stan instead or at the same time, but firing a GM in the middle of a season hardly makes any sense because there’s not much a GM can do if he takes the job in November unless you’re looking to really wheel and deal at the deadline. And almost always that’s a tear-down, and this Hawks team can’t be torn down even if that’s something they would ever consider (and it isn’t). The Hawks’ wheeling and dealing will come this summer, or it had better, and Stan will deserve one season to see how that turns out. A new coach can at least take the same toys and deploy them differently–so maybe this time next year Hawks fans aren’t watching a d-man who their coach only paid attention to long enough to urinate on star on the top four of the team leading 2-1 in the Final, for example.

This is the NHL. You don’t get four seasons of not mattering unless you’re the Sabres or in some forgotten outpost like Sunrise or Glendale. Especially when you’re doling out some of the contracts the Hawks are at the moment.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Rocky interview–especially in Crain’s–if he didn’t get to cry poor a bit and lo and behold, there’s the “only 85%” renewal factoid. Of course, that 15% (something about that number in this town. IT’S A FUCKIN’ PLAYGROUND!) was immediately gobbled up by the waiting list but at least Rocky noticed. It was somewhat shocking that Rocky didn’t go back to the “we still lose money” shelter he’s been using since he took over, even with ticket prices tripling or more in the 11 years he’s had the team.

What’s clear, and I’ll give Rocky this, is that the Hawks sure can use playoff revenue. Whether I think they’re actually in the red or not (I don’t), I wouldn’t presume to think they’re so much in the black that five or six home dates in the playoffs don’t make a difference. Seeing as how the Hawks have had five playoff home dates in three seasons, you can bet it’s made a difference on the big black ledger. Yes, I’m absolutely sure the Hawks still do their numbers by hand because why not?

So it’s only natural for the owner, the one signing the checks after all, is going to balk at losing out on that. We know that McDonough has made basically everyone’s life hell over there this season with the Hawks’ failings, so everyone is on high-alert.

I’m sure I could read into it more about Rocky’s comments on the contracts the Hawks have handed out, but there’s no point. Rocky isn’t going to sell Bowman or McDonough out like that by saying, “Well Seabrook’s contract is a goddamn iceberg and he’s not even that mobile so fuck!”

And in general, though not always, Rocky has been pretty hands-off and certainly hasn’t attacked the spotlight like other owners would or could have with the success he’s had. Sure, he stepped in it a bit with his comments about Patrick Kane, but he’s hardly alone and I honestly don’t know what else he would have done. Other than that and his occasional poor-crying, Rocky has been happy staying in the background and I’d rather have that than a hockey Mark Cuban, or wannabe G.I. Joe in Florida, or whatever this new nutjob in Carolina is going to do.

Unlike his president, Rocky is certainly smart enough to tell you what he doesn’t know. I guess we should worry about who will be making the decisions should massive changes come, whenever that day is. But then Rocky is the guy who knows that he needs to find the guys who know to make those. He’s not his father, after all.

Everything Else

Night Songs – Stanley Cup Final Game 2: I’m Incendiary Too, Man

By Sam Fels 2122 0

For most of the past few years, one of the main discussions in the game and outside of it is how to improve scoring. And we here have tried to point out that scoring isn’t the problem, action might be. There have been half-hearted attempts to try and open the game, but mostly it’s to increase power plays which will increase goals, and the hope is that the even-strength game will then open up out of fear of the power plays. It’s never quite worked, though scoring was up a tick this year.

Game 1 of this Final was used as proof that lots of goals means lots of excitement and that this is what the game should be aiming for. As I said after Game 1, I’ll go for this fractured, frantic contest every day ahead of a 2-1 truck-pulling-a-stump-fest. That doesn’t mean I need every game to be 6-4. In fact, I would prefer 6-4 to still be the rarity, so that we can enjoy them every time instead of just getting accustomed to it and it becoming lacrosse.

Last night was proof that you can still have the speed and the raucous pace that doesn’t lend itself to intricate passing or build and all the excitement that comes with it and have the goalies be a part of it, too. Big saves, like Holtby’s with less than two minutes to go but Fleury has a few himself, are just as exciting as goals sometimes. It’s a big moment. It’s a game-changing moment. Games pivot on these just as much as they can goals. Hockey doesn’t need goals, goals, goals. When it’s open like these two games have been, it gets goals but it also gets these goalies doing amazing things, too.

In essence, hockey has something of a similar problem that baseball has at the moment. They have these great athletes at the goalie position, but they don’t get to do enough to show it thanks to defensive systems that are meant to stop pucks from ever getting to them to stop. To choke off space so that shots aren’t even attempted. Goalies now are just reacting to angles and cutting off the lower part of the net. A lot of their saves are on shots they never really saw. Much like in baseball, you have athletes all over the field but you don’t get to see them make plays much because everyone is striking out or hitting homers.

We really can see what these goalies can do when they have to stare down open shooters or have to deal with passes across the slot and such. And that’s fun too! When Carlson gets to let loose freely from the top of the circle and Fleury is coming out to meet him, that’s as close to an Old-West gun-fight as you’re going to get in sports. It’s unique to hockey, because we don’t know the result. Sure, LeBron can roll to the hoop and be met by a defender, but whichever way that goes it’s one basket. If you’re one-on-one with a goalie in soccer, you’d better fucking score.

Hockey needs to find a way to get more of those moments per game. What are you going to remember more, any of the goals from Game 1 or Holtby’s save from Game 2?

-As for the game itself, the Caps seemed to weather the storm and then got the better of the middle 30 minutes or so by letting Carlson, Orlov, and Niskanen just skate past the forecheckers of the Knights. It’s a risk if you can’t get away from them, but trying to complete any pass under that sort of pressure is a bigger one. When any of them beat the first guy and caught the second forechecker going the wrong way, suddenly they had a plethora of space and odd-man rushes with possession. The Caps made plenty off that, then pushing the three back for Vegas, or just the defense, back off their line and then making plays just inside the Vegas line. Orpik’s goal came from that, because once they beat the forecheck and just kept going the backtracking forwards weren’t there.

Fleury didn’t cover himself in glory, as he was by the slots at the Mirage for Eller’s goal, way overplaying Kempny who had a man half on him. The other two goals he’s not going to do much about, but this is what happens with Fleury. When he’s really feeling himself he gets way aggressive, because he’s still one of the more athletic goalies around. But it’s a very fine line, and once he goes over the edge on it he can look very flappy/swimmy/sprawly. If he doesn’t get on the other side of that line, the Knights are going to be up against it.

Everything Else

Fallacies, Vegas, And Whatever Else In This Goofy Final

By Sam Fels 2126 0

Not that I normally like to waste any more space on Tom Wilson than I have to, but here we are. It’s the NHL, so even after a frantic and exciting, if not elegant. opener to a very intriguing Final one of the main talking points remain the #43 Dipshit Train.

Still, I have to love the pure illustration of where hockey is in the sporting consciousness and the major tenets of the sport getting torn to shreds. Let’s review.

It’s hard to argue that Wilson didn’t at least commit an interference penalty, which he eventually got when one of the linesmen went to the two refs and said, “I don’t know if you’re blind, clueless, a total coward or all three, but you have to do something here.” Sadly, as all NHL refs do at this point in the season, they looked for any way to not grant a power play, and called the Knights for investigation of what happened to their brained teammate. In reality, Wilson was out to injure Marchessault and I’m guessing the only reason he didn’t hit him in the head is because he simply missed. Wilson should be suspended, probably for the rest of the series, but because the NHL is afraid of yelling white men (and even worse if they’re associated with Vancouver), he isn’t.

And it’s in that yelling that I find so funny. Contrast it with the current controversy in baseball. Whenever we get a hit like this in hockey, there are more than a few and far too many who will shout something like, “Well he should have had his head up!” or “You can’t admire your pass in this league!” or “He turns at the last minute!” (this last one is sometimes true and muddies up the water a bit, which provides far too much shelter for those who still type with one finger at a time). And yet they maintain a prominent position in hockey. Now take Anthony Rizzo’s slide/dragon screw to Elias Diaz. Yesterday we had Joe Maddon go full-on belch about how Elias Diaz shouldn’t play the position if that’s how he’s going to end up.

And everyone thinks Maddon is idiotic for saying such a thing. We don’t get into blaming the victim in every other sport. When someone gets clobbered in the NFL, rarely do you hear someone say, “Well he shouldn’t have been running a post!” And if someone does they probably worked for the Bears until this offseason. No one claims an NBA player shouldn’t leave his feet for a shot or rebound if he doesn’t want to land on someone’s strategically placed foot when coming back down. Yet in hockey, somehow there’s always a case to be made against the injured.

Yes, hockey is a faster game and the decisions come much quicker. These are also players who have done nothing else for most of their  lives, including school, and have been trained to make decisions and plays at that speed. You and I can’t, but the reason they’re in the league is that they can. The one second Wilson had is equivalent to the two or three any free safety would have sizing up a receiver. And yet every time he does this, enough people including the league’s disciplinary committee, can throw enough shade at the one being hit to weasel out of a hard decision.

Secondly, and Ryan Lambert already got to this, is the fallacy of having a goon on your team prevents this. In the most deluded minds of the hockey world, Ryan Reaves’s presence deters this. Except he wasn’t on the ice. And when he was, Wilson wasn’t. And the knowledge that they could be on the ice together didn’t stop Wilson. Maybe Reaves fancies himself a real scorer now with two goals in two games, though he had to commit a penalty to get one that a once-again sack-less ref didn’t whistle.

“Oh sure”, some will say, “but Game 1 of the Final is too important of a time to do that stuff.” Which only makes the other side’s argument. If it’s needless and pointless at the most important times, then it’s pointless and needless at all the other times, too. And it makes any player like Wilson only feel more free to wreak such havoc in a game in November because what does a penalty or fight matter then?

I’m all for all of these fig leaves falling to the wayside. It’s a slow process, though.

Everything Else

Night Songs – Final Game 1: The Reactors Won’t Take It…Just FYI

By Sam Fels 2223 0

So that’s what Game 1 in 2010 looked like to everyone else.

It’s been a while since we’ve had two teams that haven’t been anywhere close to this in the Final, or at least hadn’t been in recent history. Basically 2012, and neither the Kings or Devils played a system that could get loose at times. The Penguins had been there the past two years and still had players who had been there seven years before, and the four before that were populated by the Kings or Hawks. So it’s not a huge shock that nerves might have gotten the better of both sides, at least to open Game 1.

At the top, before going any further, let me say that and I and most every other hockey fan would take last night’s disjointed, frantic, kindergarten recess of a hockey game as entertainment every damn time over whatever shlock a trapping or conservative or outright scared team like the Kings, or one coached by Mike Babcock would offer. It was fun, if not particularly graceful, and if that’s what the series ends up being, so be it.

But for all of the gushing, and it was exciting, it wasn’t particularly good. Or particularly well-executed, let’s say. The Knights force such a pace, and we saw this in last year’s Final too, that it’s hard for either team to play what you’d call a “smooth” game. It’s very hard for teams to complete passes, and it’s very hard for their to not be turnovers and defensive breakdowns, such is the rate that everything is happening. And it’s open and there are chances, but they’re not built out of skill or brilliance so much as just cracks forming, Which is fine, it’s just not art. Only Carlson’s goal that tied the game at 3 last night would you say was well-worked, along with Nosek’s winner. But the latter had Devante Smith-Pelley make a mistake to lead to it (and the make sure everyone in the arena and at home knew how upset he was with himself. Oh my god so upset. Look at how upset he is everyone! Can’t you see how upset he is?! ARGH SO UPSET!). And Carlson’s goal was the result of Marc-Andre Fleury looking like the drunk trying to negotiate his keys at 4am. Still, better than most alternatives.

The Knights don’t really care if their passing isn’t crisp, as they don’t really attempt that many. They chip and flip pucks into the neutral zone and only worry about passes when they’re on the rush and the offensive zone. I don’t know if the Caps can play like this and win four of the next six, but we’ll find out. They’ll feel they missed a real opportunity because Fleury wasn’t all that good and you probably have to win the “Fleury Isn’t Fleury” game this spring. Then again, MAF was always do for some kind of regression, be it now or October.

Of course, this wouldn’t be the NHL if it didn’t have its head in its ass at crucial points. And when you have Ryan Reaves and Tom Wilson out there, your game’s head is going to be even more firmly lodged in its colon. I have always fucking hated the policy refs have in the playoffs of swallowing the whistle and “letting the players decide.” All that is is abdicating responsibility and sinking into spinlessness for those who are supposed to be officiating the game. Ryan Reaves is a dolt, and he essentially “cheated” to score the equalizing goal in the 3rd. The players have decided. A superior player in Carlson has good position on him and Reaves illegally moved him. The players have “decided” that should be a penalty. The refs have “decided” to simply give Vegas a crucial goal. I’ll forgive a missed call here and there in the neutral zone where a lot more has to happen before it results in a change on the scoreboard. This led directly to a goal, and a big one. That’s not the players deciding. That’s the refs deciding by losing any gumption to do their jobs.

As for Wilson, in a league that made sense and wasn’t afraid of yelling old white men (and it’s not the only one, as you can recall the Yuri Gurriel fiasco from the last World Series), Tom Wilson would be thrown out for the rest of the Final. This is a repeat offense. It was an attempt to injure, and calling it “finishing a check” is the height of idiocy. There was nothing to be gained from clobbering Marchessault three seconds after he had the puck, other than to knock him out of the game. And it was from the blind-side, so it’s not like he was “pressuring” Marchessault.

Wilson quite simply is a menace, he’s a hazard to his fellow professionals and tossing him for the rest of the most important series the sport has to offer might finally be the lesson that gets through his and any other’s leaden skull. Just fucking chuck him. The league will be better off without him.

Everything Else

Watching The Party – Stanley Cup Final Preview

By Sam Fels 2094 0

 vs. 

SCHEDULE: Game 1 Tonight, Game 2 Wednesday, Game 3 Saturday, Game 4 Monday

When it’s been 90 degrees for a few days you’re probably not thinking about hockey. You’re even less likely to be thinking about hockey between these two teams. This was not the Final predicted, and in the NHL’s supreme marketing strategy it’s going to put it’s showpiece curtain-raiser up the night after LeBron had THAT Game 7 and Game 7 between the two best teams in that league tonight. Good thinking. Anyway, this series has a chance to be good, and it also has a chance to be bad, because predicting anything with these two the past two rounds has been folly. Let’s get through it and then get about our holiday.

Goalies: He’ll be the least talked about goalie in this series, but Braden Holtby certainly has nothing to apologize for. He’s carrying a .928 throughout the playoffs since he came in on his white horse against the Jackets. While the Caps certainly played it back at times against Pittsburgh especially and the Lightning at times, he didn’t give the Bolts much at even-strength at all. Other than last year’s minor slip against the Penguins, Holtby has been a playoff stud for pretty much his whole career. Sure, it’s his first trip here, but it was his first trip to the thrid round and that didn’t seem to phase him much.

Then again, it might not matter. Nothing the Caps do might matter if Marc-Andre Fleury is going to continue to look like something from North Of The Wall in net. The numbers at this point are stupid, and while a five-game win looks like a pounding, in point of fact the only reason the Knights got out of that series was Fleury and the top line. Fleury isn’t being shielded in any form like Holtby has, and it hasn’t mattered. Ok, sure, Fleury will be seeing an inspired Ovechkin, but he just turned away the Jets who have at least three lines of scoring. If Fleury keeps this up, you really don’t have to dig much farther than that. If Holtby continues his form, you might see a lot of 2-1s in this series.

Defense: On paper, this is a pretty big advantage for the Caps. And they’ve seen what the Knights are modeled after in the Penguins and found a method for keeping them bottled, which was keep them in the neutral zone. The top four has more mobility than any of the teams Vegas has seen so far, and more discipline to go with it. Sure, Brooks Orpik is going to need an oxygen tank on the bench, but he’s been well-spotted and it hasn’t cost the Caps much and it’s unlikely to now. Carlson and Orlov are a threat to help get play the other way when the Knights get stretched as well. The stage might jar them, the script won’t.

I’ve written it four times but they got here with this blue line so I guess I have to stop. Still, I’d only want Nate Schmidt on my team but again, the Caps don’t have the firepower the Jets do and they just beat them. That said, the Jets carried a lot of that series and even though the Knights do their best to take their defensemen out of the equation by just asking them to get the puck out, the Caps won’t be as caught off-guard by it. The Caps do have enough speed to expose McNabb and Engelland and whatever other goofus is back there. But then so did Winnipeg. It doesn’t have to make sense because it’s hockey. That’s what “Hockey Is For Everyone” actually means, that every player will get his day because the sport is basically random.

Forwards: I’m sure if Ovechkin doesn’t get a goal in every game the stories will be about how he froze in his first Final, but he and his line have been excellent. Fleury kept Scheifele and Wheeler on a leash in the last round, but one thinks if Ovie sees some of the same chances He might score a couple more. Backstrom and Oshie on the second line and Eller on the third actually give the Caps slightly more depth, based on what’s been going on lately. But with the way Fleury is going, if Kuznetsov and Ovie don’t score and probably score a fair amount, they’re going to be up against it. And sadly, if this series is going to get national attention away from the Warriors third title in four years, it’ll probably be because Tom Wilson did something assholic.

While the going story about the Knights is how they’re “All For One” and all that, really they’ve been the top line and grunts for two rounds now. Marchessault, Reilly, and Karlsson have kicked everyone’s skull to dust to the tune of a near 60% attempts-share, and everyone else has kind of been backing up. Sure, Tuch, Haula, and Neal have chipped in goals here and there, but the process has been in efficient. Sure, the fourth line has been good as well, but the Caps have one as well and I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Ryan Reaves is going to be a difference maker in this series without renouncing everything I am as a human being. If the Knights’ main trio doesn’t remain dominant, Fleury might not even save them. The Caps top pairing has more mobility and smarts than they’ve seen in the playoffs, as Trouba and Byfuglein (in his own end) were both awful in the last round. Chances are Niskanen and Orlov won’t be, and Carlson and Kempny aren’t likely to be either.

Prediction: You’d feel pretty stupid going against Fleury now. Continuing his .947 means they win, plain and simple. Holtby has been really good too, and the Caps have kept pulling rabbits out of their hats. The Lightning were a better team than the Knights. The Penguins certainly had more pedigree. Feels like this one goes the route but again….947. Knights in 7.