vs. 
RECORDS: Canucks 22-19-6 Hawks 29-14-5
PUCK DROP: 6:30pm
TV: WGN down here, SportsNet up there for Hilljack Hockey
CRYING INTO THEIR VAPORIZER: Nucks Misconduct, Hockey Dipshit
PROJECTED LINEUPS
ADJUSTED TEAM CORSI %: Canucks – 47.5 (24th) Hawks – 50.0 (16th)
ADJUSTED TEAM xGF%: Canucks – 46.4 (28th) Hawks – 47.5 (26th)
POWER PLAY %: Canucks – 13.2 (29th) Hawks – 18.1 (16th)
PENALTY KILL %: Canucks – 79.7 (23rd) Hawks – 75.6 (28th)
The Hawks will entertain the Canucks tonight, a half-hour later than normal for a Sunday because it features on SportsNet’s hilariously weird “Hometown Hockey.” For the uninitiated, every Sunday Rogers sends Tara Slone–who must’ve run over someone’s cat/child to be punished in such a way–out to some Canadian outpost/backwater/truck stop/hobo circle jerk where she gets stared at by a bunch of glassy-eyed, slack-jawed locals who are only slightly intimidated by all the blinking lights of the camera. There they talk about how much they love hockey, shocking for a Canadian city I know, while the children have to wear their gear for four hours and wave to the camera when told, which turns out to be a real task for them, because y’know, CANADIAN. Ron MacLean joins the fun to interview some doddering old codger who barely knows where he is because he spent 10 years toiling for the fucking Golden Seals or something and getting beaten about the head. But he’s from whatever ice-fishing hut they’re broadcasting from, so he has talk about how much they love hockey in this particular section of frozen hell. It’s really something.
Meanwhile, George Stroumboulopoulos kicks it at home with his awesome socks and thanks his lucky stars he doesn’t have to put up with any of this shit anymore.
Anyway…
vs. 
