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Game #62 – Sharks vs. Hawks: I Make A Lot Of Graphs

By Sam Fels February 23, 2018 1274 0

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Game #62 – Sharks vs. Hawks: Lineups & How Teams Were Built

By Sam Fels February 23, 2018 1359 0

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Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight – February 22nd

By Sam Fels February 22, 2018 1162 0

First Screen Viewing

Sharks vs. Predators – 7pm

A possible conference final preview, if you think the Pacific sucks so much and the Knights are not cut out for playoff hockey that the Sharks could simply emerge via default. The Preds have really started to stretch their legs of late but haven’t shaken the Jets in the division. Still, they’re slowly getting away, chief. We still have no idea if the Sharks are actually good or have just been able to hold their breath while everyone bar Vegas sinks around them in the division. Winning in Nashville is always a test. You wouldn’t think they have the speed to keep up with the Preds, so we’ll find out.

Second Screen Viewing

Islanders vs. Maple Leafs – 6pm

If it’s speed and goals you want, then this is for you. The Islanders have essentially become the Loyola Marymount of the NHL, and have pretty much given up on even trying to play defense. They gave up over 40 shots three times in a week! Now that the Leafs are removing the restrictor plates from their team, they’re a little more fun, too. It’s unlikely this one is going to end up 2-1.

Other Games

Wild vs. Devils – 6pm

Blue Jackets vs. Flyers – 6pm

Rangers vs. Canadiens – 6:30

Lightning vs. Senators – 6:30

Sabres vs. Red Wings – 6:30

Capitals vs. Panthers – 6:30

Avalanche vs. Oilers – 8pm

Flames vs. Coyotes – 8pm

Stars vs. Kings – 9:30

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Thanks For Stopping By, Stress

By Sam Fels February 22, 2018 1897 0

Somewhere in the second period of last night’s horrifically dramatic and exciting, if not brilliantly played, Gold Medal game between the US and Canada, I had a pretty sobering thought: This is most likely the last hockey game I’ll have any emotional investment in until October.

Oh sure, there’s the minimal emotional investment of rooting against someone when the playoffs come around. Hockey fandom is nothing if not filled with vitriol and schadenfreude. Be it the Blues, Ken Hitchcock, the city of Boston in general, I’ll find sides to take. But as every song of the 60s told us, hate is not as rewarding as love. Seeing your enemies fall doesn’t bring the thrill of seeing your side triumph.

The past couple years, more and more people ask me why I or we as a team still do this. Last night would be the only answer I need. No other sport matches the swings of emotion, even if you’re just minimally invested. By the time Lamoureux sent Szabados into Row H with that move, the entire bar I was at was engrossed, where I was the only one watching when the game started. I didn’t want to go back to smoking so much as eat a couple cigarettes during the third and overtime. Every US mistake leading to a Canadian chance elicited this sucking sound as I quickly inhaled through clenched teeth, making an almost reverse-hissing noise.

Sometimes I’ve derided the women’s Olympic tournament as one-game long, and I believe it will be better for everyone when and if the rest of the world catches up. But it being the only game does add to the drama, doesn’t it? These two teams essentially practice for four years until this one, and it’s uniqueness heightens the occasion and tension Because the loser knows it’s going to be four years until they play anything resembling this again. Throw in the US choking away the last one and the added pressure of the wait for this one and the threat of doubling the wait and angst until the next chance.

You don’t realize until you’re older how the storylines accentuate what you feel what you’re watching. It’s more than just the contest. It’s everything going into it. And it’s the feeling your heart bounce off your heels and then nearly spring out the top of your head all in a matter of seconds. That’s why we’re still here, because you can’t get that anywhere else.

Oh sure, the Cubs are almost certainly going to take me on another October ride, but while I adore playoff baseball, the pacing of those games just make it exquisite torture. The time in between pitches gives me just enough time to imagine Bryce Harper hitting a ball far enough that it has to count for 10 runs every single time. And the series are over too quickly. That Cubs-Nationals car-crash lasted exactly a week.

Us soccer fans get some of this, but there’s too many days between games. And thanks to Bruce Arena and the other morons running US Soccer, Slak and I won’t even get that this summer. I’ve already seen England go out in the Round of 16 enough to not even stir any emotion about that either.

It’s been 10 years since we’ve gone a spring without it at all, though last spring probably counts in the “can’t feel anything” category. When the Hawks were regularly missing the playoffs, that’s what I was most jealous of. Knowing that there wouldn’t be any tension when you woke up, that haze you basically go through the days in, because what did anything matter before faceoff.

At least we had it for one night in February. And at least longing and disappointment, when they arrive, are feeling something.

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Game #61 We Could Talk or Not Talk for Hours – Hawks 2, Senators 2 (Hawks Win Ice Dancing Long Program)

By Rose Rankin February 21, 2018 1752 0

Box Score

Natural Stat Trick

Corsica

It’s a good thing this game started at 7, because honestly, staying awake through this crapfest was hard enough—had it gone any longer I, and probably most of the people who showed up at the UC, wouldn’t have made it. You would think that a game with back-and-forth scoring that went to a ridiculously drawn-out shootout would be an exciting affair, but you would be wrong. Except for brief flashes of effort, neither team really looked like they half a shit. The level of play was equally lackadaisical and as exciting as one would expect because of that. To the bullets:

–The shootout went on for what felt like 14 rounds, and fortunately Schmaltz’s goal was enough to eke out the win. Anton Forsberg actually had a good game, despite giving up goals right after the Hawks had scored (neither of which were entirely his fault, as usual). He made clutch saves on Marion Gaborik, who inexplicably came to life in the third, and he made just enough stops in the shootout. He finished with a .941 SV% and even got to be the second star of the game, which warmed my cold, blackened heart.

–Out of the sleepwalking there were other guys who had a decent night. Carl Dahlstrom played mostly intelligently at the blue line, and he ended the night with a 52.6 CF% while taking 55% of his starts in his own zone. Top Cat of course scored a shootout goal that should have ended the game, and well before that he made excellent passes that would have been assists had they been to anyone more competent than Brent Seabrook and Ryan Hartman.

–Patrick Kane was involved in both goals: on the first, Our Cousin Vinny made a pass that was spot on, and Kane picked up his own rebound; on the second he assisted on Wide Dick’s goal where Arty managed to sneak behind Karlsson. But, both times the Hawks scored they gave it right back all too quickly, and Kane also stood by and literally watched as Duchene sped past him and scored the tying goal, so there was that. His shootout goal was appreciated, but don’t go thinking Kane’s give-a-shit meter was anywhere above the “Ah, fuck it” level.

–The power play remained dismal, with their only two chances being entirely useless.

–Overall, it was a back-and-forth of two bad teams, where one just sucked a little bit less than the other. However, we have to cherish each win because who knows when another one may come along. The Hawks have gotten beat by shitty teams enough times this season; if we can be on the other end of it for once, we should appreciate it. And hey, maybe some teams were impressed with Anisimov’s goal and will put more thought towards taking that contract off our hands. A girl can dream…

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Game #61 – Senators vs. Hawks Preview/Ninja Warrior Class: Now That’s A Fire!

By Sam Fels February 21, 2018 1915 0

vs.

RECORDS: Senators 21-28-9 Hawks 25-27-8

PUCK DROP: 7pm

TV: NBCSN Chicago, NHL Network for some reason

WISHING THEY HAD NO RECOLLECTION, SENATOR: Brian5or6

This season, especially lately, the Hawks haven’t gotten to face too many teams that are a bigger oil spill than they are. Of course, when they have that hasn’t stopped them from getting thwacked by Arizona or Vancouver (twice). But hey, at least the Oilers haven’t gotten one over on them since like, October! Anyway, the last team the Hawks put a DLR on before Saturday’s was Ottawa back in that nation’s capital, and things seemed a touch rosier then. The Hawks would then win two games over the next 36 days. That’s how you get where we are now.

For the sake of educational purposes, the Ottawa Senators will provide an example of what a team really in crisis, in a tank and in full rebuild looks like. The only team propping them up in the East standings are the simply dizzy and confused Buffalo Sabres, and that’s in the Atlantic Division where five teams can’t touch their nose. They’re about to ship off everything that’s not nailed down, and even if they do all that their owner might just fold the team or move them because he feels like it as he might be Canada’s biggest asshole this side of Don Cherry or the Barenaked Ladies.

All the drama for the Senators over the next few days will be if they’re going to move along Erik Karlsson, which they pretty much have to. He’s at maximum value now, and though you could never get equal value for one of the greatest d-men of all time, you’ll come a lot closer now than you would in the summer, where any team acquiring him would get two playoff runs with him instead of one. It’s funny, earlier in the year we were saying the Hawks should be in on that derby. Seems so quaint now. Whether the Sens like it or not there’s really no reason for Karlsson to re-sign there for all the money in the world unless he really loves having nothing to do and rarely playing games that matter. He’ll have 20 teams lining up to pay him what he wants soon, and few players get that chance.

Karlsson won’t be the only one packing his bags if he goes. Both Mike Hoffman and Mark Stone, two forwards who you would have heard way more about had they played somewhere else and/or ever had a real #1 center, look to be packaged goods as well, though Stone is a definite goner and Hoffman might stay. Derick Brassard is another who should get the movers ready. They’ve already packed off Dion Phaneuf because the Kings huffed some paint and decided that contract was a good idea. If the Sens were really adventurous they’d see if they could move along Matt Duchene again, because he’s not going to do them much good in the immediate future while they’re sucking hind-tit.

And then when you look at it, you see the Hawks are only a few games better, though in a far better division, and suddenly the world seems a very cold place indeed. The Hawks will be showcasing their own talent in Wingels and what looks to be Anisimov and Jurco tonight, as the latter two will skate with Patrick Kane. Either that, or Q has entered full, “Nothing Really Matters” mode and is just going to do stuff to do it and listen to a lot of Joy Division because how the hell else do you fill the time?

One intriguing line is Top Cat-Schmaltz-Duclair, because that’s something you could see being utilized in years to come. That is if Duclair closes the year strongly. You see what could be, but you also see what it is, and he’s going to have to show he can connect the two before we jump to any conclusions about where he’s going. Vinnie Smalls-Kampf-Hartman is at least a quick and entertaining fourth line, and hopefully they’re allowed to just be a kindergarten recess out there with their speed.

This is another scapler’s night off, and the Sens have never been much of a draw even though they might have the best player on the planet. Be curious to hear how many red seats are in the house tonight. This is the path they’ve chosen.

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Game #61 – Senators vs. Hawks Spotlight: Matt Duchene, And Knowing What You Are

By Sam Fels February 21, 2018 1614 0

One of the bigger trades in recent season’s took place early this one. It involved three teams, which rarely happens in the NHL. The Senators punted Kyle Turris to Nashville after he made it clear he wasn’t sticking around Ottawa long-term, and received Matt Duchene in return. The Sens didn’t get anything else.

On the surface, it makes sense. The Senators saw they were going to lose their #1 center, Duchene was another nominal #1 center on the market, and made the switch. They thought there was a better chance Duchene would want to stick around past his contract, though we won’t know that until July when he can be signed to an extension. And of course, this deal took place when the Senators hadn’t completely seen their intestines fall into their legs. There was still a lot of “this season” in the trade.

Still, you have to wonder if the Senators would do that deal again.

Duchene is better as a winger than he is a center, and as a center he’s almost certainly a #2. That’s where he was best in Colorado, letting MacKinnon doing the heavy-lifting or riding shotgun with him on a wing.

And Duchene is just not all that good, his Team Canada pedigree aside. He’s topped 70 points once, and 30 goals once, though he scored at that pace in the lockout-shortened season-in-a-can. His scoring would make for one of the best second-liners in the league, and a first-liner if you squint. But that is not what gets you closer to a Cup.

Now Duchene has to wonder if he wants to stick around for a rebuild, and that’s the reason he asked out of Colorado. Except this summer he’ll only have one year left on his deal and his value won’t be as high as it was in November when he was traded the first time. The Senators very well may have acquired something for a dollar that they’ll have to sell for 75 cents or less.

Duchene turns 28 next season, so if the Senators are about to embark on a plan that’s going to take two or three years to come to fruition, he’s going to be past his peak. And considering that all of Hoffman, Stone, and especially Karlsson are all being put in the shop window, three years might be conservative. You don’t build around players that are going to be over 30 when you’re going to be good again.

If the Sens are doing the full-blow up they might as well see what’s out there for Duchene. The Bruins could use another forward, and the Penguins were in on him the first time. The Send don’t have a surefire #1 center or d-man in the system, though Aaron Luchuk and Logan Brown look like they could be something in a couple years.

This is why decisions shouldn’t be made off one playoff run. The Sens got to a the Eastern Final last year on the back of Anderson and Karlsson, but anyone looking at this roster could have easily told you it was too goalie-dependent to expect anything near a repeat. And Anderson’s up-and-down career was another red flag. Turris heading into free agency was another.

The Sens could have gotten a future piece or two for Turris. Look what the Avs got for Duchene. But focused on the now has put them back two or three seasons.

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Game #61 – Senators vs. Hawks Q&A: It’s Dark In Them Thar Woods

By Sam Fels February 21, 2018 1793 0

Brian5or6 has been our Sens guy for a while now. But apparently this season has erased the light in his eyes (and if you’ve seen his Twitter videos, you know there actually was one). Again, that could just be the result of living in Ottawa, we don’t know. And we don’t want to know. But keep that in mind as you proceed here.

Let’s get the big one out of the way: Is Erik Karlsson a Senator after the deadline? Should he be?
If Erik Karlsson is not a Senator after the deadline, I’m moving to the forest. Going off the grid for awhile. Basically, I’ll need to find myself again. Come to grips with the loss and then just continue to give’r. Does that answer it?

If Karlsson goes, and everyone is available after him, do the Sens have anyone they want to build around?

Mark Stone is one hell of a player to build around, but let’s face facts here. If Karlsson goes, the team folds and its possible the actual city of Ottawa folds with it

What does all this mean for Matt Duchene, exactly?

It means that he is awesome but that he should start looking for a new job once Erik leaves. And I’m not talking another hockey job. Because when Karlsson leaves, hockey is dead to me. And to everyone else I’d imagine.

GM Pierre Dorion got a contract extension. How does that make you feel?

It makes me feel like shit

What is the endgame for all of Eugene Meylnyk’s diarrhea of the mouth? He’s not going to get a new arena downtown, right?

The end game is to get all the money. Everyone’s money. Your’s, mine, the janitors cleaning up piss in the bathrooms.

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Game #61 – Senators vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: This Bond-Villain Lookin’ Mother…

By Sam Fels February 21, 2018 1735 0

It’s amazing how history can repeat itself.

Guy Boucher came into Tampa with a sterling reputation in 2010. He had won in the QMJHL, and then put up 115 points as the Hamilton Bulldogs coach, when they were the Canadiens AHL affiliate. Of course, being in the Canadiens system certainly led to a lot of press, and he was seen as the heir apparent to take over behind the bench in Montreal, be the homegrown coach who could finally charm their media, and lead the fucking torch to six straight Cups with Habs fans consider their birthright. All while not ever having to utter a word in English, as that’s what causes Montreal media to stain the sheets.

None of it happened. and it turns out one season in the AHL and getting a few children to play along with your system does not a prepped NHL coach make.

Boucher bored the shit out of everyone in Tampa, but rode a really hot Dwayne Roloson to a conference final Game 7. His 1-3-1 trap was never called that because the heir apparent in Montreal couldn’t just be trapping, and also he like, flipped which winger was involved in the trap which caused massive mud-losing amongst hockey media.

Then Boucher’s boring-as-shit ways led the Bolts nowhere the next two seasons because he didn’t have a goalie to bail them out of all the games they didn’t score. He was soon canned, and Jon Cooper took the same roster basically, stepped on the gas, and they’ve been one of the more consistently good teams in the league when not injured.

Boucher got a second chance, because everyone gets a second chance in the NHL. His boring-as-shit ways capped Erik Karlsson a bit, but a hot Craig Anderson and getting sweetheart matchups in the Bruins and Rangers saw them get to a conference final, which they also lost in a seventh game.

And now without that goaltending, the Senators are just as dogshit as the Lightning were under Boucher. Sure, there’s a talent-deficit, but he’s not making any of it better. The Sens are bad and hard to watch, which is a bad combination.

So please, let him take over the Canadiens one day. We’re dying for them to slip even more into irrelevance.

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