Faxes from Uncle Dale

Author: Sam Fels

  • Grinds My Gears

    Grinds My Gears

    Well, actually it’s more of an observational post today, not something that’s genuinely pissing me off. It’s too early in the season to be angry of course, and I’m trying to grow here. I know, futile cause. But let me have this.

    Anyway, with the news of Patrick Sharp’s second child, I can’t help but notice what an odd phenomenon this has become. Because it seems Hawks fans are more entangled in the personal lives of the Hawks than any other team in town. And may be than any other hockey team, though I haven’t really looked around to see that.

    But think about it. Both of Sharp’s children’s births was announced on the website. So was Seabrook’s. So was Keith’s. And Hossa’s. They’re constantly talked about on the broadcast. They’re the first questions asked by the beat reporters. It’s a real story around here. (more…)

  • Hawks at Canes 3rd Period Thread

    It ain’t over till the fat lady sings and the big bitch is
    choking on a chunk of salami

  • Hawks at Canes 2nd Period Thread

    A penny saved is a penny earned, but a stolen case of
    beers gets you a hell of a lot drunker

  • Hawks at Canes 1st Period Thread

    Sticks and stones may break some bones but a .357
    gonna blow your damn head off

  • Strikeouts Are Fascist, Ground Balls Are Democratic: Hawks at Canes Preview/Pregame Thread/Fancy Book Learnin’

    Hawk Wrestler vs. Hurricane Carter

    FACEOFF: 6pm Central
    TV/RADIO: CSN, WGN 720am
    MUD WITH THE CAPTAIN: Canes Country

    The Hawks continue their tour through the Eastern Conference (with only brief stops to play the Blues, apparently), but this time take it on the road and head down to Tobacco Road where the residents are killing time before Coach K yells at children.

    It’s been an uneven start for the Caniacs, as they’ve filled out the dance card equally at 2-2-2. Their most recent effort saw them get fairly well clocked at home by the Coyotes, which is not something they hand out merit badges for.

    (more…)

  • Atop The Sugar Pile 10/14

    Atop The Sugar Pile 10/14

    I’m sure you’re probably just waking up from a day off nap just like I am, at least those of you who are lucky enough to have the day off. Which probably means you’re a teacher or a banker. If it’s the former, God bless you. If it’s the latter, you need more fucking lollipops available in your lobby. Anyway, weekly players of the week post and such…

    The Dizzying Highs

    Jonathan Toews – Three points in three games to match his performances from the entire season. Toews has been his normal, dominant self (though has been a -1 in each of the past two games, but hey, +/- is dumb. Like Good). The slow starts of the past appear to be stuck in the past, as Toews has come out flying in each of the past two seasons. And he’s breached the 60% mark in the past two games at the dot. Kid may have a future in this league.

    (more…)

  • Hawks at Blues 3rd Period Thread

    Standing on the corner watching the ladies pass by
    Imagining me behind your eyes
    And what did I see?
    I saw hips, I saw thighs
    I saw secret positions that we never try

  • Hawks at Blues 2nd Period Thread

    I can’t believe you had a life before me
    I can’t believe they let you run around free
    Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea
    What a good idea

  • Hawks at Blues 1st Period Thread

    He’s got a million dollar car
    He’s got a thirty-seven year old guitar
    He’s got a family who deals heroin
    You’re on the edge of your chair
    And you feel it
    He’s looking at you, he’s laughing at you
    It’s happening

  • It’s All Happening: Hawks at Scum Jr. Preview/Pregame Thread/Queen’s Jubilee

    Hawk Wrestler vs. old_school_blue_l

    PUCK DROP: 7pm Central
    TV/RADIO: NBCSN, 720 WGN-AM
    WASTED AND CAN’T FIND THEIR WAY HOME: St. Louis Gametime

    It’s all going down in downtown St. Louis tonight (and I don’t mean that in the usual sense, the residents doing so for meth). Within a mile of each other, the Blues will take on the Hawks and the Cardinals will be engaging in a Game 5 decider against the People’s Champ Pirates. Where are all the trailers and carriages going to fit?

    I’ll leave the baseball for other people (THIS IS YOUR TIME, CUTCH!!!) and just deal with the hockey. While I find it’s generally better to slowly wade into the hockey season in October and not really amp up the energy and emotion until there’s snow on the ground, there’s always one or two games that remind you of the coming storm. Tonight would obviously be one of those.

    (more…)