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Game #53 – Hawks vs. Wild Douchebag Du Jour: The Entire Twin Cities Sports Scene

By Sam Fels February 2, 2019 1068 0

Earlier in the year, we remarked how badly the Wild wanted to be considered anyone’s rival. First it was the Hawks, then it was the Jets, but really they’ll settle for anyone bothering to notice them at all in a toddler-stamping-his-feet-while-adults-are-talking fashion. The more we thought about it though, it seems to be a problem for the whole area. It’s pretty sad up there.

Since the Twins won the World Series in 1991, almost solely because they played in a dimly lit garage, the sum total of the Twin Cities sporting accomplishments is: three NFC Championship appearances by the Vikings, all losses (and hilarious ones at that!). The Twins have one ALCS appearance, which is also the only year they’ve won a playoff series since. They lost the North Stars, and the Wild have only been to one conference final when Jacques Lemaire bored everyone to the point they stopped caring if they won or not and just wanted the contest to be over. The Timberwolves have one conference final appearance.

For cities that have all four sports, it’s just about the spottiest record you can imagine. Dallas at least had the Mavs championship win and the Stars. The Rangers got to two World Series. DC would have been close, but then the Caps closed the deal last year. It’s a vast wasteland in a sports sense (and probably many others).

So while the Wild are poking everyone and trying to get their attention, or the Twins are trying to claim how much the White Sox really hate them when most Sox fans forgot they exist, if they ever knew it at all. The Viking can’t stop stepping on their own dick, so maybe it’s just a Minnesota thing. They all prefer watching the Gophers anyway…

 

Game #53 Preview Suite

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Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built




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